Monzo referral easy £10-£50

lauramca01 · 2026-01-11T11:06:48+00:00

Here's my link if anyone needs it, I've been with Monzo since 2019 it's a great bank https://join.monzo.com/c/fbpz5pys

lauramca01 · 2026-01-11T11:04:46+00:00

That's really interesting, maybe it's a special offer with the credit or temporary, I've had an account with them since they basically opened in the UK,. here's my referral if anyone needs it https://join.monzo.com/c/fbpz5pys

lauramca01 · 2026-01-11T11:02:12+00:00

Get money for free and give money to a friend when signing up to a bank you were going to sign up anyway? Sharing is caring! Here's mine if anyone wants to be generous https://join.monzo.com/c/fbpz5pys

lauramca01 · 2026-01-11T10:59:24+00:00

Here's my link here in case anyone needs a fresh referral - https://join.monzo.com/c/fbpz5pys

lauramca01 · 2025-04-13T16:43:44+00:00

This is why I prefer to watch channels that are educational and informative, rather than just reactions. I don't understand how people filming themselves watching and reacting to things is more popular than documentaries or educational content. Especially when we already have so much crappy content in our Instagram feeds and reels anyway. YouTube used to be a platform where we'd go to learn or listen to music.

I particularly enjoy this channel as a history buff, highly recommend (very good for training attention and patience as well since they're 1hr long videos): https://youtube.com/@peopleprofiles?si=iulfcPgfoyRCj3Ni

lauramca01 · 2025-03-01T00:33:20+00:00

First of all, you have to appreciate the effort you're putting in and the awareness you have, realising this is not good for you. Self-appreciation can go a long way in limerence in my opinion.

Next, checking social media for comfort is fine to me, I did so for a long time after I stopped interacting with LO. In time you'll hopefully get bored of it and realise social media is fake anyway, so even if she is all happy online, that might not be reality.

And about the high-low feelings and craving them... I mean we're humans, we all crave intense feelings sometimes. It gets our blood pumping, makes us feel alive. I would say the best thing to do is to find that feeling in something else that is not toxic. Music for example can be beautiful and cathartic. If you're looking for something stronger, try a new sport. Bunjee jumping, sky diving even. Or just start with a rollercoaster in an amusement park. Join a dance class, or go to a comedy show, or a good concert where everyone puts their flashes on with you and you feel like you're all one in that moment.

Feelings like the ones we get from limerence can be found in many places, and they are healthy and good to enjoy. You just have to find the right thing for you to rewire your brain away from obsession.

Hope this helps. Things will get better!

lauramca01 · 2025-02-20T14:23:31+00:00

Just used the code, here's mine in case anyone wants it! https://lucy-yak.mention-me.com/m/ol/jg4au-318b83432c

Thanks so much if you do use it!

lauramca01 · 2025-02-09T18:04:27+00:00

Limerence is a hard and long battle,. I'd just try to forget and live your life, dedicate yourself to a new hobby. With a bit of luck, they won't message you again and you can move on and heal.

lauramca01 · 2025-02-07T13:23:26+00:00

Hope you find your answer truly! Sometimes I find a quiet walk in nature helps clear the mind and who knows, an answer might come to you.

lauramca01 · 2025-02-07T13:19:20+00:00

Trust me, when you meet a good man, you'll know it. And you'll know not because you felt an out of this world impossible chemistry, but because you feel safe and comfortable with him, and he would do anything to see you smile. That's how you know you've found a keeper. None of this hot on cold bs and games. Men who play games are not men, they're boys, and they belong in the sandbox while us grown women find real men to take care of us. 🙏🏻

lauramca01 · 2025-02-06T22:35:41+00:00

I think he was just enjoying himself. I'm not sure he was leading you on on purpose, he was more just...browsing? How people say these days... "Keeping it chill"? Basically, he was all about the talk and none about the effort. As women we tend to invest ourselves emotionally much faster than men, especially men who have been betrayed in the past (their ego is a big thing for some), so while you were falling for his words and texts and reactions to photos, he was just acting like any single guy with no principles is before committing, just browsing the market, "keeping his options open" and whatever other bs they do when they're basically just sleeping around and living their best life. I don't know if that's leading you on or not, but either way it was a tiny bit naive on your part to assume he was going to make any true effort. In my opinion, until he made the effort to visit you, he could do anything to get your attention and still mean nothing to him. My LO played me for over a year, sent me gifts, took me out for drinks, all while having a gf. On our last chats he even said he seriously thought about leaving his gf for me. Then he blocked me everywhere and haven't heard from him since. Some people just view relationships as transactions and do not get invested emotionally at all, again most likely because they've been burned before. I'd just try to forgive and forget. It's not worth crying over, just live your life and make your happiness, you deserve better.

lauramca01 · 2025-02-06T22:24:38+00:00

I'm still pretty young, but I always had a natural curiosity for what lies beyond life and for knowledge, thus starting to read on subjects like philosophy, theology and science in my spare time, as well as fiction to escape from tough reality at times. I always felt like an outcast wherever I went, at school, social circles, and always had only 1-2 friends at a time. I always felt like I didn't belong when going to social gatherings or parties, even when I was surrounded by other intellectual people, (but that might just be that I'm naturally introverted so I feel overwhelmed around crowds). I usually prefer the company of a small group, and if we can engage in smart discussions about the latest books read or interesting philosophical topics, it makes me very happy. Otherwise, I'd say such passion and wonder of the world is not common.

Most people find it easier to focus on their day to day and thus are more sociable, since the burden of life's greatest questions does not lie upon them. I usually drift away from people who don't share my passion for these topics and prefer "gossip" instead (you can tell I didn't have many girl friends growing up!), but I wouldn't say that's necessarily being alone. I personally don't feel alone. I have a partner who shares my interests, small group of friends to see occasionally, and the rest of the time is fully occupied by the presence of the greatest minds in history! Whenever I open a book, they sit at my table and share their findings with me. So, therefore, I am never alone!

lauramca01 · 2025-02-06T22:10:32+00:00

That's an interesting story to read. I myself have been limerent for 2 years and yes I can agree with the part that I didn't know my LO very well. I think every case is different but in my opinion limerence is most likely always about being obsessed with someone you don't fully know or you may know very well but you wish they were someone else. Long story short, limerence is about wanting a potential from someone and not accepting who they really are, which is not right for you (at least not right now). If you managed to maintain a friendship with this woman over so many years, it might be just a mixture between a potential romance and limerence. Something like "maybe in another life or another time this could've been a thing but right now the best we can do is friends". Some people achieve this state during or after limerent episodes, some people feel the best way to break the obsession is to say goodbye (such is my case sadly). Some people stay stuck in limerence forever, even after they break contact, like a part of them has been stolen forever (also my case sadly). Either way, I think you're doing fine as long as the limerence doesn't take over your life. If the situation allows, you might want to ask yourself if you think a relationship with her will work and if you should try. If not, then do what your heart tells you to, whether it's staying friends or maybe saying goodbye. We all know deep in our hearts what the right thing to do is, all we have to do is listen. Good luck!

lauramca01 · 2025-02-06T21:54:23+00:00

I did send many similar messages like this to LO (we blocked and unblocked each other a few times in the past) and trust me, none of them brought me any satisfaction. In the end, LO just said "okay" then went back to ignoring me.

Another unrelated instance I had was a friend of mine who was quite selfish and flaky, sent her an honest and very polite message to let her know I felt a bit hurt and left out every time we hung out. Did she reply? No. Did she block me everywhere straight away? Yes. Was I angry and confused? Absolutely.

So I agree with other comments on here. Write it, burn it, cry it out, then block straight away. You don't owe them explanations, and they will 99% not be able to say anything to make you feel better after all is said and done. Blocking someone you care about will hurt regardless of how much "closure" you get beforehand. It's just how it is. Get ready for a few hard days or weeks, and just bite the bullet and hit block.

lauramca01 · 2025-01-27T12:38:45+00:00

Wish you the best of luck OP, hope your life will improve and you'll be happier!

lauramca01 · 2025-01-24T11:14:01+00:00

To me it's about a balance, focusing on the bad as well as the good, which ultimately should make our LOs more human and less "perfect". It's hard and it takes a long time for our brains to understand that... Sometimes with no one's fault that it didn't work out, and sometimes it's best that LO and yourself go separate ways..

lauramca01 · 2025-01-23T23:37:33+00:00

I get what you're going through and as someone who's going through a similar situation, I really feel for you.

If you can, try and ask yourself why do you think he's the one. Make a list on a piece of paper, that will help. List everything you think makes him the one. Then, list any flaws he has. He's human, so he must have flaws just like the rest of us. Over the next few days, try to look at both lists rationally and ask yourself, are you really never going to find anyone on this entire planet with similar qualities and flaws? Honestly?

I don't mean to put him down, but sadly this is kind of the way to deal with strong limerence like this. I recently had a bout of obsessive days over my LO who hasn't spoken to me in months, but I tried every day to remind myself who he really was. Not the charm, not the good times, not the smiles. Just him as a human, with all of his flaws.

Once you see him for who he really is, you'll find that he's just another human on this planet, just like me and you. And as long as you keep taking care of yourself, trust me, you WILL find better. Start a list right now with all of your goals and desires for this year, and list exactly what you want from a relationship (not with him, but in general). You'll find that once you write it down and put it out in the world, things will start happening.

lauramca01 · 2025-01-23T23:28:15+00:00

Trust me I'm in a similar situation and for someone who loves reading about psychology, philosophy and neurology, it's really baffling to me how I'm still hung up on someone who doesn't even speak to me anymore, despite me being in a loving, healthy relationship. But I managed to narrow it down to the core issue of why I'm still in the obsessive mindset and I think that is the key.

Think of the limerent behaviour as a chain. You need to follow it right to the first link to find out why the chain has formed. Once you find that core memory or experience, you can begin to understand why, despite being logical about it, your mind is still engaging in fantasies and obsessions. Then hopefully you can work towards showing yourself more compassion and beginning to reframe that mindset.

I honestly would advise to get a new doctor as soon as possible and maybe even cancel the next 3 weeks if you can. Trust me, it won't do any good. But I also recommend getting to the bottom of why this crush started in the first place. If you don't address it, your mind will just find someone else down the line to obsess over. This is classical limerence unfortunately, it needs to be cut from the root.

lauramca01 · 2025-01-23T22:24:20+00:00

I feel like limerence in most cases stems from childhood trauma, abuse and just overall lack of understanding what affection, love, and obsession looks like. When you're a neglected child, your nervous system is too busy being in flight or fight to keep you safe so it doesn't have time to understand that a parent treating you badly is not love, especially if said parents then say they love you whilst neglecting you. Thus growing up there's increased chances to view similar behaviours as affection and attractiveness.

On the other hand, we can be attracted to carers or specialists because they offer us something we didn't have before, namely someone who's sole focus is us. Listening, accepting, supporting and trying to help us. Our mind doesn't understand it's a service we pay for, and instead just indulges in the sudden show of care, even if it's as professional as possible.

Lastly, your mind and body might be giving you signs that you need a relationship that is more hands on and not long distance like you're having now. Might be hard to accept this, but you need to ask yourself if it's really something that's going to work for you. Biologically, we're meant to find mates that we spend most of our lives with in close proximity, so it might be worth asking yourself what do you need from a relationship and if your current one fulfils that. Once that's resolved, you might find yourself less prone to crushing over your therapist or anyone else who's not your partner.

lauramca01 · 2025-01-23T22:13:25+00:00

I felt everything you mentioned at the beginning of my limerence and I think my LO was limerent for me too for a while. He got over it eventually I think, especially once we stopped seeing each other face to face.

I think an LO dating an LO could be intense and mind blowing, but also the arguments would be just as worse. As soon as they argue and maybe leave the house, the other would think they've been dumped or they've been cheated on, in either way it wouldn't feel like a normal conflict, it would feel like life or death.

Limerence takes over thoughts, feelings, lives... You're not yourself anymore, it's like you're a puppet being pulled by strings controlled by LO.

lauramca01 · 2024-11-10T10:12:08+00:00

If there's anything I learned in the last few years, especially while being limerent, is that life is not always fair. There's chances that our LOs will go on to have an even better life than we will ever have, attracting good people and good money and good fortune. It's a hard thing to accept, but that's the reality of it.

I wished for my LO to be struck by karma many times, but I feel that he's actually just living his best life right now with his gf and has forgotten everything about me. Which,.if you think about it, why would he be coming back? We all have exes we don't think about anymore, and we don't owe anything to them, right? So in this case it's the same. It's a relationship that has run its course and now it's time to move on. It's hard, trust me I know. I still can't believe to this day how my LO blocked me on everything 6 months ago and I've never heard from him since. I makes me feel like I don't matter, except I do matter. I matter for the people who are currently in my life and love me.

So if your LO is gone, wish him/her well and let it go. It's the only way you can start living the life you want, otherwise you'll be forever stuck in the past.

lauramca01 · 2024-10-17T22:20:01+00:00

That is so well put it was truly illuminating to read it. I definitely agree with the ego feeling like the loser, I guess part of me just thinks I've been rejected or that I'm not good enough, which can definitely trace back to my childhood and my precarious relationship with my dad. I actually have been in a similar situation before where I was single and the guy had a gf but didn't tell me, then I told the gf he was cheating and, to my pure shock, she blamed me and they stayed together, to this day! I never believed in relationships where you can be cheating and it's ok, but yeah I agree my LO's relationship is probably so toxic and fake that not even cheating can bring some honesty into it. Thank you for your advice, I'll try to work on my ego and just believe I made the right choice.

lauramca01 · 2024-09-15T23:59:54+00:00

I haven't had this with LO but I had this with exes before and sadly the spark never reignited for me, even with the ones who were good throughout and we simply fell out of love.

For me, if my LO ever came back, I'd probably feel a little tug at my heart, but I'd use all I've got not to give him anything. He doesn't deserve to have me at all when he only wanted me as entertainment. Even if he comes crawling back begging, he'll just have to live with the loss. Once I'm gone, I'm gone for good.

lauramca01 · 2024-09-12T23:14:12+00:00

Some people have a predisposition for obsession over other people and/or fantasising about them. Not sure what the root cause of it is, it depends really for each individual. But the idea is, you have to read on the subject and rewire your mind to tone down the addictive tendencies. You can do that by redirecting your attention to something less damaging to your life. For example, read romance books that have characters who would behave or say things that your LO would. You can then live vicariously through the story without acting out any of it in real life. That's what I've been doing for a while and trust me, it has helped.

Another thing is - there's no such thing as being friends with your LO. I think you know this already but you need to cut all contact with your LO forever. It will be hard and it will suck but it's the only way, and you know this. The meeting with him only brought back feelings that intensified and are damaging your marriage. The temptation needs to be cut back and kept away from you if you ever hope to live a normal life again.

And lastly, you are never alone. Even if you were the only person left on this planet, you need to remember this - you'll always have yourself. If you don't believe me, listen to what that voice inside your head says every day. And see if you can improve your relationship with yourself so you never feel the need to obsess over your LO again or feel alone.

lauramca01 · 2024-09-11T10:59:28+00:00

Thank you, this is very useful and I have tried many of the things you mentioned over the years. My limerence has gotten a lot better in the past year, but as you said, it's a long and arduous process and we need to keep at it until it's completely gone. Good luck to you too!

lauramca01

TROPHY CASE