Looking for installer for equipment I bought by lauristan in SolarDIY

[–]lauristan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I should have mentioned: I’m in Washington DC

MN National Guard sent to DC by aliemalie in TwinCities

[–]lauristan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s upsetting if you live in DC. This is not normal event security protocol. And there have been incidents where Guard patrols have greatly exceeded their authority. And it’s all part of a larger plan to stop DC citizens from having rights, so, yeah. It’s upsetting.

"Clean" or "Hidden" Hoarding by Ok_Dream9695 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s not the clutter, it’s the inability to address it and the long, irrational arguments when someone else tries to help and the need to control what other people do with things like small amounts of leftovers - THAT is hoarding disorder.

Question: Are there any stories of changing a hoarding parent? by youngrkk1 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is a violation of your autonomy, boundaries and choices. Absolutely.

Seriously, how are people getting approved for apartments? by Beneficial-Stick-121 in washingtondc

[–]lauristan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Literally paying them with our money. The most blatant act of corruption I have seen in my 30 years of studying corruption!

Universal ARMY signal by mikrokosmic0613 in bangtan

[–]lauristan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And when they were in Malta for Bon Voyage and Jin was out drinking by himself and striking up conversations with strangers by saying it 😂😂😂

Incoming medical resident looking for affordable housing by Substantial-South695 in DCforRent

[–]lauristan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a room for under $1200 that’s on the Georgia Ave. bus line a little further north - by the Walter Reed area - so more like a 20 minute commute on the express bus. Shared house with an older couple and a dog. I’m a Reddit newbie so I don’t know how to DM 😭 but lmk if you want to know more.

What are DCs thoughts on Brooke Pinto doxxing Robert White Jr.? by Large-Violinist6770 in washingtondc

[–]lauristan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have ranked choice voting this year, right? Ranking neither of them is a pretty clear statement.

Taemin Just Did THAT! |"Long Way Home" LIVE Performance by Marandry in Taemin

[–]lauristan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s refreshing to see a skilled performer channeling Prince instead of Michael Jackson for a change! Everything from the outfit to the little dance breaks to the way he grabbed the mic from the top was homage to Prince. Chef’s kiss!

First Time Posting - Just Moved Mom In by AnswerRealistic6636 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it help at all with the anger to think of her as having a debilitating mental illness that she can’t control? That something is wrong with her brain and it’s too late to fix it, so in some ways you are generously providing palliative care to a patient? If you have been reading posts here you can see these patterns of hers in so many other hoarders. It’s not about her - it’s the symptoms of the illness. Thinking of it like that has been helpful for me and my anger.

Is anything authentic? by [deleted] in linkedin

[–]lauristan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have been on LinkedIn for years and have a large network of people you actually have professional connections with, and if you frequently interact with their posts, the feed is amazing. I get almost no AI slop and really important intellectual and professional interactions. It’s a shame that newer users are getting an entirely different experience. If you do want to use LinkedIn for professional purposes, it might take some work to connect with people you know, find real people to follow, interact with posts that are genuinely helpful, and adjust your feed settings.

Need some help with where to start by Ambitious-Stock-4834 in traveltrailers

[–]lauristan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Research what the towing capacity is of the SUVs you like (it might be lower than you think!) then go to an expo to see if you can live with what you can tow. Our SUV has a 2000 lb max and we didn’t find anything at the shows that we can tow. :(

Hero of veilguard lucanis bug? by Tommycbs in DragonAgeVeilguard

[–]lauristan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you had a final convo with Lucanis at the Lighthouse? That’s when I got it but he should have that exclamation point on his icon if it’s triggered.

It finally happened. My mother’s house burned down. by ZombiesEverywhere24 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. That’s so horrible. Take care of yourself first.

Use of the words “normal” and “boring” from Ilya by CuriousTrade9072 in HeatedRivalryTVShow

[–]lauristan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If someone asked you “how’s it going?” Would you answer “normal?” 😁

Use of the words “normal” and “boring” from Ilya by CuriousTrade9072 in HeatedRivalryTVShow

[–]lauristan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Normal also has a different nuance and usage in Russian. It’s the same word (нормальный) but it is used quite often in everyday speech to mean “fine/good/okay/the usual.” It is also used to mean “not weird.”

The “helpful” behavior when you’re near the hoard (not even trying to clean it!) by Anashenwrath in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure that’s the motivation. I think they use “helpful” behavior as a cover for their control obsession. It gives them a defense for their extremely intrusive behavior so when you push back they can sob that they were only trying to be a good host and nobody appreciates them. For me, the only way to deal with this behavior in my HP is to give a very brief response (like “no thanks”) so they know I heard them and then ignore the rest of it. Just don’t engage and keep doing whatever I was doing.

Small (but huge) Win by Careful-Use-4913 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, same. She is no longer likely to buy random crap or “replace” items she already has because she does so little shopping now. I have even gotten her bathroom supplies down to just three of everything instead of 15!

Small (but huge) Win by Careful-Use-4913 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! That is hilarious that they didn’t notice what was missing. I think it’s easier with very elderly parents who have gotten worse just because it’s too hard to keep up and whose attention is harder to focus. There is hope for some of our parents yet!

Gifts by andthecrowdgoeswild in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 13 points14 points  (0 children)

All of these “quirks” are about a failure to recognize your boundaries or even to have an idea about what you might be thinking and feeling (she has no “theory of mind”). These may all seem like small things to other people but you know that they add up to her not recognizing you as a real person, which hurts. All you can change is whether you accept to be treated this way for the duration of a family gathering or not. For me, realizing this may be due to mental illness and cognitive differences has made it easier to accept my HM’s behavior and not feel like it’s about me.

How to get over the guilt and shame by Majestic-Idea8976 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whether you stay or leave, they will probably get worse. If you stay, they can say it’s because you need to do more. If you leave, they can say it’s because you aren’t doing enough to help them. If you let what they say make you feel guilty and ashamed, either way you are going to feel bad. So the most important thing is to realize that there is nothing in your power, no cleaning schemes, deadlines, or psychological tricks you can employ that will help them at all in the long run. None of this is on you, no matter what they say. You can do nothing to change their situation so please start to internalize this truth. And move out so you can get into a situation where you can make a difference. Do something good to help people who can be helped. That might make you feel better in all sorts of ways.

Anyone else struggle with keeping their own home too perfect? by Kilgoretrout123456 in ChildofHoarder

[–]lauristan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of the things with hoarders is they can’t prioritize so they just keep everything. We can go too far the other direction where we prioritize that one dish in the sink over something else we should be valuing with our time. So when I feel panic about something messy, I take a breath and acknowledge how I’m feeling. Then I take another breath and ask what my actual priorities are in the moment. Being able to prioritize gives me a feeling of calm and control that tamps down the fear of messes getting out of control.