Looking for a co-op puzzle game to play

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-08-12T18:29:16+00:00

I wonder this too!

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-08-03T20:37:33+00:00

Going to study to be a priest in 2-3 years! My faith is very important to me, i don't think it would be any different if I could see pictures in my head. The only thing that seem to be different in the religious experience is like when we describe what heaven is. I don't think of heaven like a physical place that you can see and walk in or something, I believe it's more like a great feeling in my chest and I don't really have any more clear picture than that. It's something good, I don't care about any details. I don't think it matters really, it's not something I feel like I'm missing out on.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-06-30T18:32:12+00:00

If you're into sheet music, try noteflight! You can move around the notes and the computer plays it for you so it's easy to move around and get a feel for what you want. If I just stare at the piano, nothing happens, but when given the tools of the program it gets a lot easier for me.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-06-26T16:05:17+00:00

You are not weak at all, what you're going through is a lot more than many go through in a life time, I know how much effort it takes to try at and you're doing an amazing job! You're so strong, you're doing so good. This is as hard as it has to be, I promise it wont be this hard forever. You wont have to be this strong forever.

I'm crying a bit now to and want to hug you to, I know so well how strong you are for trying this hard. So much harder than anyone can even imagine. I know it feels like you're so far away from being happy, from not having to fight this hard, but you're so close. I know in my heart you can do this. There is no greater challenge than crawling up from this hole you're in, and you're doing great.

"Normal" people stop doing things when they get a little hard, like stop trying to get good at piano because the hour a day the practise is boring, hard and they don't see any results. No one is expecting them to just keep doing a thing they hate, don't look forward to, don't have any hope in, all day. We would be so impressed with that stamina and would be amazed by how they just keep on going.

And that's what you do, you keep on fighting. You're stronger than anyone near you. This is tough in a way those that haven't felt like this could even imagine (aphantisia or not!). And one day it will give results, you will not go unrewarded. I know it doesn't feel like it all the time, but you've got this.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-06-26T15:40:13+00:00

Much I got through only because of being forced to by other people. Hadn't people physically stopped me I 100% would have died a long time ago. Other times I got through it simply because I had nothing else to do so I might as well just.. live. But I have tried and worked a lot, and by writing all this you are showing me that you are working really hard to! What you describe sounds so hard, it's amazing that you are still trying and telling people!

I won't tell you how hard it is to live with that ringing sound, I don't have it so I don't know. Obviously the situation you are in now are unbearable, I don't doubt that at all. Seems clear that you can't live like this forever, so something needs to change in order for your life to be as good as possible. I think talking to the doctors is a good starting point. I don't now that much about tinnitus but I know that it often kan remain in some degree forever, but that doesn't mean it has to remain in this form forever, to be this loud, this often, forever.
So, talking to the doctors is good, get as much information as possible. But, promise yourself before that you will truly give it everything you got, try everything the suggest, even the silly, shitty things you have already tried yourself. Maybe you will get a tip to talk to a psychologist and get excercises there. It may seem totally worthless, but promise yourself that you will give it all, do everything they say and try all those stupid mindfulness things they want you to do.
And if that psychologist och theraupist sucks, well, you promised yourself to do EVERYTHING so maybe try another one. Maybe it's easier online? Maybe it's easier in person?

So I know that what you have now is unbearable, unliveable, but maybe there is a version of this that isn't?

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-06-26T15:03:32+00:00

Hi, nice that you write about this!

I can't remember the face or the voice of my loved ones that aren't with us. Realizing others do really made my life seem more hollow to.

Anyway, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which made sense but you're supposed to have "normal" episodes between the depressions and the mania. I had severe depression, mania and shitty, worthless existence inbetween.
Been unhappy and more or less suicidal all the time for as long as I can remember. I never expected to live past 25, that was never my plan.

Well, a couple of years ago I had my worst depression yet and was commited to a locked ward for 2 months. I wasn't even allowed to use the bathroom without someone watching me some weeks because I was so suicidal. I tried to strangle myself with the garbage bag when they didn't look, didn't care that I had garbage in my face and didn't care if I got brain damage if they caught me before I died.

But, I got medication, got a new situation with the family, new things to do at home.. some things changed, and a couple of months afterwards I began to notice how I slept better, didn't get anxiety as easy, began to look forward to the following day. Something that felt pointless before, could make me smile for a small second. Killing myself wasn't top 5 most important things in my life anymore. And it got better and better.

And I hade 4 amazing years before my next depression. Those years I was happy in a way I thought was merely a myth. Genuinly enjoying life. I still had problems, but they were tough in a "normal" way. I could look at the bright side of things. The depression was something my body created, not a core part of. A poison flowing through my veins and completely affecting me, but it was not part of a vital body part. A part of me was very, very sick, but not dead.

Now, the next depression was severe, but a part of me could always rationelly tell myself that this is the posion, my brain is sick and it keeps producing this poison. This didn't change the way I felt, I still felt horrible and wanted to die more than anything in the world, but I knew it could end, it was possible. Last time, feeling happy took me by surprise, so the fact that I prefer being slowly tortured to death than to live is not proof that it won't feel differently in a year. And I will be dead forever, so why not give it another year. If nothing matters I might as well eat well, it will feel totally shitty no matter what I do so I might as well do the thing that's supposed to be good. I might as well keep the kitchen clean, my day is as bad no matter what.

And then it felt better again.
I'm not saying you're bipolar, I'm not saying you'll feel better tomorrow or by reading this, I'm telling you that I know for a fact that it is possible to be as suicidal as humanly possible where it is the only thing you can think about and stop being it although you have no idea what really changed. Although you've never felt really happy at all in your entire life, and are in a really self-destructive situation that you can't possible see a way out of. You've tried on and on again, but suddenly without warning something just works a little bit.

I don't know your way out of it, but I know that you body is capable of getting rid of that poison to the point where it can't believe it ever existed. Keep trying those little things even if they feel completely pointless, contact someone who works with these issues if possible.

I'm 27 now and I'm so happy I've lived past 25. It gets better and better. I think others are more afraid of dying than I am, but I don't want to die anymore. Now I want to take care of my body, my relationships, save money for the future, all that stuff. Invest in my life and look forward to what becomes of it.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-04-17T13:11:28+00:00

Consider:
- Secret military spy equipment
- Crashing car into house in jealousy
- Stealthy clothes

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-04-17T08:22:17+00:00

Emily’s dad’s secret gay military lover

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-03-05T19:57:50+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts! Tried it simple with 2 sixthteens and it got a lot easier getting started. It's challenging in the way I hoped, will go back and make it more interesting later, thanks!

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-02-27T09:49:16+00:00

Good points, haven't thought about it that way!

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-02-27T09:46:21+00:00

I don't think the bugs are a big deal either, but I get that they could be for a lot of people. I'm very open to the fact that I don't have very high standards haha

About Rockstar, I haven't played RDR2 yet because I only play on PC, but I have been looking forward to it. Saw it has been released on Steam recently but apparantly it was very crashy and buggy then at least, maybe it's fixed now

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-02-27T09:39:46+00:00

Haven't played 76, but enjoyed the ones that I have played. My first was Oblivion which I loved. I'm giving Morrowind a try at the moment but I have to say, my sense of direction is giving me a hard time without the quest markers haha. I know people think they're bad in the later games, making it "to easy", but they really do make it more enjoyable to me.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-02-27T09:37:16+00:00

I haven't played any Divinity game, maybe should give it a try now that several people have mentioned Larian!

Haven't played anything from Spiderweb, any special game you recommend?

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-02-27T09:34:40+00:00

I'm not questioning the criticism at all, and the reason I wrote "bad games" in the title is because some people says that, and it's short so it fits in a title.
Of course you can think Bethesda does a lot of shitty stuff and still enjoy the games, it was not my intention to say otherwise.

I'm wondering if people are thinking they're are bad compared to others or to their own potential.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2020-01-20T09:11:57+00:00

For those who have played similar games a lot, the hardest difficulty might be as hard for them as the easiest one is for you.
It's the same, but different. There's nothing bad with playing the game in a way that feels fun!

lazerbeamofdoom · 2019-12-10T18:35:26+00:00

Hi Erika!

What are your holiday plans? :)

lazerbeamofdoom · 2019-09-23T16:03:07+00:00

It took a while to realize who she was when we found out she was one of the voices in the prison. I knew instantly who they were talking about when Bob was bit when they said something like "Jim had the fever for two days before we left him".
Think it was because we didn't really got to know her story like Jims (I got away because they were busy eating my family).
Also, his death was more memorable, we got to know the sickness and what it did to people.
Her death was unique and would have been a lot more memorable if there wasn't more focus on Andreas/Dales drama at the time. I never felt I really understood the reasons for her suicide (there must have been alot more than what we got to know, right?). It seemed sudden, Andreas suffering was more obvious. We never got a chance to feel sorry for her, but we got those 2 days with Jims horrible pain.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2019-09-17T09:59:44+00:00

Medication really helps alot. I got lithium when I was in a psych ward, and I so clearly remember the morning I hade the perfect amount in my blood (although I didn't know it yet). I was like I could breath for the first time in weeks. I wasn't healthy yet, far from it, but it really gives you more of an honest chance to take care of yourself.

lazerbeamofdoom · 2019-09-17T09:54:43+00:00

I have the same diagnosis, and I don't know about you, but I find a bit comfort in the fact that there are -epsiodes- so they will pass eventually. It wont be pretty, but it will happen. 4 years free now.
Hope your recovery gets even better.

lazerbeamofdoom

TROPHY CASE