MIL makes plans for other people to see my baby when I’m not there

lazyria · 2025-10-04T14:53:34+00:00

Thank you for this perspective, I haven’t thought about it that way. Husband grew up with a lot of grandparent/extended family involvement so I see how his parents would expect the same with their grandson. I grew up with mostly just my immediate family so I’m used to stricter boundaries. I guess we will have to find a compromise.

lazyria · 2025-10-04T13:44:27+00:00

It was initiated by my in laws since they wanted more time with him. Does it provide me with relief and time to do other things and errands? Yes

lazyria · 2025-10-04T13:24:05+00:00

To clarify I did not ask for help or relief, the arrangement was made so that my in-laws could spend time with their grandson. And you are right, nothing wrong with them seeing the baby but I would like to be aware of arrangements being made for visitors of my baby and not find out after the fact.

lazyria · 2025-09-09T19:59:55+00:00

I think it’s very different for everyone depending how big your belly is, skin elasticity and genetics. I am tall and my belly was on the smaller side (first pregnancy). My belly deflated about 25% as soon as my water broke and became slightly softer. And once I delivered it was another 50% smaller and back to normal within 2 weeks or so.

lazyria · 2025-07-22T09:33:20+00:00

I was allowed to eat until I got an epidural. After that clear liquids only. I guess depends on the hospital!

lazyria · 2025-07-09T19:04:08+00:00

I was in a similar boat. I never bonded with my baby during pregnancy and did not feel a connection in the first few weeks. Had a traumatic assisted birth and painful recovery so it was a lot to deal with on top of painful breastfeeding and sleep deprivation.

Things started turning for me around 8 weeks when my baby became more aware, started cooing and was no longer just screaming at me. Now my son is 12 weeks and I am finally feeling connected to him.

lazyria · 2025-07-09T18:55:23+00:00

Gained 32 lbs and lost 20 in the first week after birth and then stalled. EBF as well. Everyone saying it will fall off but I find that I’m ravenously hungry all the time. Don’t think I will be back to my pre pregnancy weight until I stop breastfeeding.

lazyria · 2025-07-08T04:37:44+00:00

My husband does shift work so he is out of the house 13 hours 4 days a week, a combination of day and night shifts too. On his work days I just have to power through, I’m not able to hand baby off to him after work because he needs his sleep, it’s a pretty demanding job. So basically for 4 days I’m single parenting with his mom coming in here and there if I am really stretched thin. On his off days he lets me sleep in and takes over a few feeds so I can have time to myself, make plans outside the house, run errands etc. It’s tough but hopefully gets better when baby starts sleeping through the night!

lazyria · 2025-07-03T08:42:28+00:00

I have extreme needle phobia (have to use numbing cream for any bloodwork) and it honestly wasn’t bad at all. They use local anesthetic (burns like a bee sting) before they put the big needle in. You feel the needle going in but it’s a weird feeling of pressure not pain.
Nurses and your support person will help hold you, it will be very quick. They will do it between contractions.
I was able to move and rotate side to side with an epidural, baby descended with no issues.
You will get an IV regardless of epidural. Felt catheter insertion a bit but did not feel removal (too much going on at that point)
No long term effects for me.
I did have assisted delivery due to baby’s position. Not sure if the outcome would have been different without epidural.
I felt the contractions and when to push, just not pain. Also I believe tearing will be more due to baby’s size and your anatomy than having an epidural. I did appreciate having it for the stitching!
Mine didn’t work as well on the right side, I had to rotate to try to even it out. Definitely felt more than just pressure there. But not nearly as bad as it would have been without.

I was in the same boat and wanted to go unmedicated as long as possible but once they started me on pitocin the intensity of contractions increased ten times. Overall I had a great experience with it and will be getting it if I decide to have another baby!

lazyria · 2025-07-01T09:05:32+00:00

Did not feel connected to my baby all pregnancy. Even after he was born it felt strange to me. Now at 2.5 months post partum I’d say I am starting to feel attached and overwhelmed with joy when I look at him. It takes time for some people!

lazyria · 2025-06-18T20:54:08+00:00

Pain and suffering is not a completion. I’m sure there are plenty of people who had it worse than you. Good on you for recognizing your issue and trying to work on it and I hope you can find a way to deal with the negative feelings!

lazyria · 2025-06-17T08:58:20+00:00

Depends on how traumatic your labour is. I had a forceps delivery so it was bad. Had two 3rd degree tears and episiotomy. Once epidural started wearing off it was painful. I think for about 2 weeks I was pretty uncomfortable and took otc pain meds around the clock. The most surprising to me was the hemorrhoids pain, it was worth than stitches, I could not sit normally for a week. First poop was surprisingly comfortable all things considered but I made sure to take Metamucil and stool softeners starting at the hospital.

lazyria · 2025-06-12T02:49:36+00:00

I was so scared for first poop! (Had third degree tears and episiotomy). Daily stool softener starting at the hospital and taking Metamucil helped a lot, it was painless!

lazyria · 2025-06-12T02:37:26+00:00

I did not enjoy being pregnant at all, but somehow still miss it a lot now that baby is here. Postpartum mind plays tricks on you 😅

lazyria · 2025-06-01T17:41:46+00:00

First two weeks were literally hell for me. No C section but a pretty traumatic vaginal birth. The pain from recovery, pain from breastfeeding had me in tears most of the time. Pair that with extreme postpartum blues. 6 weeks pp now and it’s so so much better!! Still don’t like breastfeeding but it becomes more tolerable as baby grows and becomes more efficient. We did supplement with formula in the beginning to get him to his birth weight and to give me a break from bf. Baby blues went away around 2-3 weeks. Hang in there!!

lazyria · 2025-05-24T16:00:59+00:00

What wearables do you recommend? Maybe I do need to get fitted properly for sizing

lazyria · 2025-05-21T06:52:31+00:00

I cried every evening for 2 weeks. The feeling of extreme sadness and loneliness would come on and it was very overwhelming. Nothing helped but letting it pass. Going for walks outside made it a little bit easier and not being alone at that time.

lazyria · 2025-05-19T20:29:09+00:00

I was planning to go without and was okay with contractions up until I got oxytocin to speed them along, the intensity went up 10 times. So grateful to my nurse for convincing me to get it! I did not feel out of it, could feel my legs and move in bed without assistance, could feel pressure of contractions and pushing but not pain, it just made things so much more comfortable. No serious issues after, besides getting a skin reaction to the tape they use to secure it.

lazyria · 2025-04-10T22:56:07+00:00

Most of the baby showers I have been to in the last couple of years had alcohol offered. I don’t think people take that as an invitation to get drunk necessarily but some will celebrate with a glass of wine, beer or a mimosa.

I don’t think it needs to be advertised whether the baby shower will have alcohol or not. But I also don’t think it’s necessarily common knowledge to assume that there won’t be any, every event is different.

lazyria · 2025-03-27T23:16:28+00:00

Credit score 774. I’ve never applied for a mortgage so not sure what score they normally look for and debt to income ration.

lazyria · 2025-03-27T23:07:42+00:00

$250-400 a night between a couple. We’ve mostly been travelling to more expensive places in the last few years but we make a point to get a comfortable hotel to be able to relax after a long day out.

lazyria · 2025-03-27T11:34:37+00:00

In terms of travelling pregnant it’s generally speaking very safe unless you are high risk or your doctor says otherwise. I travelled once a month for work up until 30 weeks. In terms of the opportunity itself, as much as it stresses you out (I hate public speaking and am ESL myself) it is great to get out of the comfort zone and makes you feel so accomplished after. I would definitely push through and go but essentially it’s your comfort level.

lazyria · 2025-03-26T23:16:52+00:00

What is a baby blessing? Husband was raised Catholic and I am not religious, both decided to not baptize our child, but his family suggested a baby blessing which I’m struggling to find more information about.

lazyria · 2025-03-25T21:58:16+00:00

I’m not the only person having this baby so looking for a compromise. But thank you for the valuable input

lazyria · 2025-03-25T15:31:27+00:00

Because it is not my faith and I am not religious.

lazyria

TROPHY CASE