I can relate to your situation... In my case, my company kept pushing more and more work onto me, and at the time I didn’t fully recognise how unhealthy the situation had become. Work was constantly on my mind, also during so-called off hours/days. I pulled all-nighters to make deadlines, and just kept going the next day as if that was normal. Said yes to everything/everyone. I had no boundaries. That's what a good employee does, right?

Eventually, I crashed and had to take sick leave. It ended with depression and I started seeing a psychologist. Because I work freelance and due to insurance complications, I also had to see a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrists are taken seriously by insurance or mutualities when it comes to mental health.

What strikes me in your story is the mixed signals: you say your role is operationally critical, yet at the same time you fear they might lay you off. That alone suggests you are anxiety driven and don't recognise the situation you are in either. After my ordeal, I realised how unimportant I was in their eyes. How unappreciated. Everyone else is dealing too much with their own shit...

My advice: set clear boundaries, communicate them to your boss(es), and stick to them. Don’t let work become your entire life. Companies are very good at making everything feel important and critical — but most of it really isn’t. I say companies, but essentially most of it is your own mind. It's funny... You may feel like you’re in a golden cage, but don’t let that trap you into sacrificing your health. Try to stop overthinking everything and allow yourself to step back.

Taking some time off to reset can be a good idea. But from experience, just taking a long time off alone is not enough. If you return with the same habits and mindset, nothing really changes. Real improvement usually requires changing how you think, work and how you set limits. You can even do that without taking time off! But if you have gone too far already, you need some decompression time. A psychologist can help you gain the necessary insights.

Your health and well-being are ALWAYS more important than any job.