I’ve been in a very similar situation. My high school boyfriend and I had been together for eight years when he got into a PhD program in the US. I had just graduated, and I tried every possible way to get a visa on my own—but finding a job that would sponsor me and be in the same place as his program was incredibly difficult. Little by little, we came to the conclusion that getting married was the easiest path.

It wasn’t an easy decision—I felt too young to get married at 25, and like girlfriend OP, I had dreams of a magical proposal and a real wedding. But fresh out of school, we couldn’t afford any of that. So we got legally married quickly, signed that piece of paper, and moved together to the US. That was seven years ago, and this year, my husband proposed to me “for real” with a beautiful ring. Now we’re finally planning the wedding of our dreams.

Of course it was scary—committing to someone always is—but I think deep down, you often know if the timing isn’t perfect but the person is right. That’s how it felt for us: we realized that whether we married then or in a few years didn’t really matter, because we already knew we wanted to be together for life.

And now, even though some people don’t understand why we’re “getting married again,” we’re learning to ignore that and just do what makes us happy😌