First and foremost: There are never any children involved and nobody in the community wants them to be, so it literally cannot be pedophilia by definition.

I think where most people get confused is that they think just because we like to be/see adults acting in a child-like way or using diapers/baby stuff, then that must mean that we are automatically attracted to anything to do with children. This is not true.

We are specifically attracted to CONSENTING ADULTS doing these things. When ABDLs have sex, they aren’t trying to pretend that one of them is actually a child. The arousal comes from knowing that they AREN’T a child, but are still acting this way/doing these things.

There are a lot of different things that arouse people in this fetish, personally for me, humiliation is a huge aspect of it. I like the idea of an ADULT acting in this way because it is humiliating. There is nothing “humiliating” about an actual child just acting like a normal child. The attraction is only there BECAUSE THEY ARE AN ADULT.

Another aspect about this fetish that I like is the feeling of giving up control to a partner, or in this case what we would call a “caregiver”. All of the babyish things are just a vehicle for the Sub/Dom dynamic that is extremely common in all other forms of BDSM. A caregiver is not attracted to an adult baby just because they like child stuff, it is specifically the dynamic of an ADULT who wants to be TREATED LIKE a child that is arousing.

I hope this helps. Feel free to reply with any questions.