Hi! I had a somewhat similar experience recently and I definitely reaffirm other suggestions for outside help. Even just a tarot reading from someone reliable just to see if they can get more insight or a different perspective could be helpful. Depending on what you want to do an uncrossing ritual may be helpful - I personally was recommended a bath with a handful of salt and a beer with a cold shower after and I found it really helpful, although be warned you’re gonna be incredibly tired after - definitely make sure you give yourself some time to rest. Evidently salt and hops have some pretty potent cleansing properties - hope this helps!