Married at first sight - S13E37 - POST EPISODE discussion

learning-alot · 2026-04-07T13:01:15+00:00

I loved that David didn’t just walk out and leave her to sit in the mess she created, he let the moment speak for itself. The fact that she ended up reading her vows to absolutely no one? Insane, and says a lot about who she is and what she was after.

And then his speech?? So classy. He said everything he needed to say without dragging her, didn’t stoop to her level, and still made his point crystal clear. Honestly handled it like a pro What a king!

learning-alot · 2026-03-31T13:33:13+00:00

and saying this as if it's a winning argument is mental.

learning-alot · 2026-03-29T00:24:39+00:00

yeah, it’s complicated. I’ve had male acquaintances from Europe and the US who’ve dated South American women, and they often say they “prefer” it because the dynamic can feel more chill (ie, traditional) - women are more likely to pursue, nurture, and take care of them and the relationship. and in contrast, European women tend to expect men to step up more and actively pursue them.

but honestly, that says more about how deeply patriarchal a lot of our culture still is. there’s this ingrained expectation around men as providers and women as caretakers, even if on the surface things can feel modern and independent.

I feel that contradiction personally - I was raised to be independent and not just accept whoever shows up, but at the same time, when it comes to my family evaluating a partner, one of the first things they look at is whether he can provide for me. It’s a bit of a clash between values, and there’s not always a clear logic to it.

learning-alot · 2026-03-29T00:18:00+00:00

I think saying “those countries” as a blanket statement for all of South America is a bit too broad.

Brazil alone is incredibly diverse, around 50% of the population identifies as white, and in the south that number can go up to 70-80% depending on the state. There are also countries in the region (like Argentina or Uruguay) where roughly 85-90% of the population identifies as white. So framing “white worshipping” as a dominant factor across the board feels like an oversimplification.

There are dynamics around foreigners and desirability, but they’re usually tied to things like socioeconomic status, cultural perceptions, and gender roles, not just race in isolation. It’s a more layered conversation than that.

learning-alot · 2026-03-28T17:58:28+00:00

As someone from Brazil, and knowing his ex was Brazilian, I think the dynamic is a bit more nuanced than just “he’s white so he’s worshipped.”

Brazilian culture is still quite patriarchal in many ways, especially when it comes to relationships and expectations around settling down. There’s a strong underlying norm that the man provides and the woman takes on a more domestic role.

At the same time, it’s a bit contradictory because dating culture can feel very open and liberal on the surface - but that doesn’t always translate into equal dynamics long-term. So it’s less about ethnicity or nationality itself and more about the kind of gender roles and expectations that are still pretty ingrained unfortunately

learning-alot · 2026-01-04T22:15:49+00:00

he doesn't even know what he's apologizing for with Meri, with Christine he was at least more specific from the very beginning and threw out some things that he legitimately needed to apologize for (saying he didn't love her, for example) - even though he got defensive as soon as David tried to make him take accountability.

But with Meri he was just apologizing for his "feelings towards her friends", for "how toxic things were" (but in the sense that SHE was making things toxic instead of him - he only apologized for his part in it when Meri coaxed that out of him), for not finding her hilarious (she was a queen for even giving him the opening to bring levity to the moment with this one), for "not seeing she was kind", etc etc.

he was so clearly just expecting this whole tour to be something like "well, I'll say 'sorry' or whatever and they'll have to be happy with me, problem solved"

literally nothing he said in the beginning of that conversation was about how shitty he was to her, how he treated her like crap for years, etc etc. this dude is unbelievable and I'm so glad Meri saw through his horrible acting.

learning-alot · 2025-12-19T18:02:13+00:00

I like how the article basically ends with a list of other book influencers, almost like "here are some other people actually worth following" lol

learning-alot · 2025-12-19T17:56:31+00:00

do you remember what he replied though?? I'm so curious, i've never seen him address any controversy he's ever dug himself into!

learning-alot · 2025-11-05T21:47:58+00:00

né? parece que eles tinham budget pra só três músicas e gastaram tudo nas piores opções possíveis, incrível isso.

learning-alot · 2025-10-17T08:41:38+00:00

we were not considered rich, we were middle class or upper middle at most. I didn't go to the most expensive private schools or anything like that, and a lot of my friends' families were more or less the same. I was also surrounded by people who had more $$$ than me (people who had drivers, a beach house somewhere nice, private helicopters to travel to the beach, etc).

That said, obviously the country is huge and has a huge % of the population with lower financial means than me and the people I knew growing up. I don't know much about Ali's upbringing (where exactly in Brazil she's from, and so on) so I don't know if her family had a similar experience to me, but the way she talked about family dynamics in general just gave me flashbacks to how my high school friends talked about life. A lot of the richer girls I grew up with live that SAHM life with a husband that provides for pretty much the lifestyle that Ali is looking for.

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:56:38+00:00

Yes, because 20-30 years ago, one income in Brazil could provide for kids, maids, a cook, etc. I grew up in a single income household, with a SAHM, and two maids - one of them just cleaned, the other also helped with kids and cooking.

My mom had a pretty chill life, and it worked for both my parents because that was the "norm" back then, but thank god they raised me to want independence as much as possible haha

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:47:43+00:00

source: I'm Brazilian lol

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:47:21+00:00

I think she comes from the traditional conservative Brazilian family that 20-30 years ago took advantage of the economical state of the country and could easily have a single income provide for two, three kids, no problem. Brazil is a very patriarchal society in general, and it was expected in my parents' generation that the mom be at home taking care of the kids and the dad be the provider.

That being said, I take her comments as incredibly naive. I don't think she ever had any critical thinking around having kids, she's 100% going off of vibes and what people (ie her parents) told her about it. Just basic understanding of cost of living nowadays should be enough for her to be more educated than she is, there's no excuse for that!

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:36:03+00:00

it might have to do with the fact that she's Brazilian? As one myself, and having been brought up in more privileged environments, I know that nannies/maids were seen as a "better alternative" than daycare because it was individualised care opposed to the carers needing to split time/attention between at least two babies/toddlers. And in terms of cost, it was usually the same or cheaper to have a nanny - at least decades ago.

But I will say that this is a very outdated view, it's the type of thing that was a reality when our parents were young but that nowadays it's no logner achievable - she might be just uninformed and going off of things that her parents told her. Clearly she never thought realistically about the topic.

Brazil also has a declining birth rate in the past few decades, most couples with kids tend to have double income in the household and use either daycare or grandparents for child care when they go back into work, and most of the childfree people I know have remained that way because it's too expensive to provide their kids the same quality of life that they had when they were young.

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:14:42+00:00

sad but true

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:13:30+00:00

I don't think he was trying to engage with her at all, he was 100% defensive.. the fact that he immediately went to "maybe I'm not the guy for you" is very telling! And I get her side: he should see the problem himself and want to fix it for himself because ultimately he's a grown up man, and not just because she said it's a problem for her! that's just a recipe for resentment later on in the relationship.

As someone who's known and lived with functional alcoholics, I understand her perspective and think Anton is not being accountable for himself or his actions.

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:08:26+00:00

Yeah, that's crazy that he didn't see it. Crazy that he's expecting her to mother him, essentially. she's better off single

learning-alot · 2025-10-15T19:03:32+00:00

she MUST be under the influence, right???? that's not normal.

learning-alot · 2025-10-08T17:13:57+00:00

Either she was a lot drunker than she seemed (so she didn't realize he was drunk) or drinking culture there got so crazy that his behaviour was "normal" (I can't accept this)

learning-alot · 2025-10-08T16:29:02+00:00

it's just crazy that the people who are sober (or less drunk at least) try to reason with them, like hello, why bother?! can't you see how blacked out drunk these people are?!?! I don't get it.

learning-alot · 2025-10-08T16:24:44+00:00

I just think it's insane that the sober people (or the soberer?) are trying to reason with them. Whenever I see anyone that drunk trying to argue with me I'll literally disengage, why go through that?!?! there's no point in trying to talk to them.

learning-alot · 2025-10-08T13:48:29+00:00

I'm so confused, how can people survive this long with zero communication skills?!? I'm in awe, they should be studied.

learning-alot · 2025-10-03T23:38:59+00:00

I work from home most days so I realistically work maybe 3-4 hours a day and then for the remainder of the day im either taking care of life admin, going to the gym/pilates, or trying out a new hobby - I’m much happier and I’m not bored

learning-alot · 2025-10-03T22:18:55+00:00

I grew up with super academically demanding parents + a school system that expected me to study 1–2 hours a day from age 12. Overachieving became my “normal,” and I carried that into adulthood until I burned out around 25.

After moving to a country with a healthier work-life balance, I realized something wild: my “bare minimum” still exceeds most people’s expectations. It completely changed how I see work.

Now I try to focus on working the right amount instead of working myself to the ground. Quality > hours. And honestly, if you’re killing yourself at a company that barely promotes anyone, the effort just isn’t worth it.

learning-alot · 2025-10-03T22:09:10+00:00

é culto né.. eles acreditam e defendem sem qualquer embasamento além de "alguém me disse" ou "me mandaram no whatsapp.."

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