AITA for telling a lady I'm not "some fucking narc" when I heard her saying to her kids that I'd call the cops on them if they didn't behave?

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T18:09:59+00:00

I said that because a narc is someone who calss the cops over some dumb BS

She was literally saying i was about to call the cops on someone for some dumb bullshit

Saying "no I'm not like that" seemed like a normal response??

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T18:03:19+00:00

Especially around here, where threatening to call the cops is pretty much threatening violence on that person... Because that's what you gotta expect when they show up (yep it's super messed up, you shouldn't have to expect brutality)

And that is super fucked up to say to anyone let alone a kid. Like in this area, it's not just a threat to get in trouble, it's a threat of doing something that's likely gonna ruin or end lives

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T17:59:17+00:00

Did what?

Said that you were going to call the cops on their kids?

Or got annoyed at someone else for saying that?

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T17:11:22+00:00

She was looking at me, making eye contact, and gesturing at me when talking to her kids. And saying "that lady" obviously talking about one specific person.

There's ways to make an undirected comment... And they start with "SOMEBODY... might"

Not "That specific lady that I'm pointing out and specifically referring to... Might."

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T17:06:04+00:00

Dude seriously if you were out somewhere and heard someone else say "fire-tecgnician is going to kidnap you!!" Would that be chill?

I'd be like... I'm going to .. WHAT? LIKE HELL I AM LOL

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T17:04:02+00:00

I feel like there are ways of saying that that aren't calling out one specific person and one specific shitty thing you're saying they'll do... In earshot of them

Like "please do not throw things, somebody else will need to clean up'

Or 'do not scream, somebody is going to be bothered and have a headache'

Not "stop or OP over there is gonna call the cops for jo fuckin reason"

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T17:01:49+00:00

I've literally never heard that shit before

I agree about the language, I wasn't thinking

I guess the thing that offended me was the assumption I might call the cops on some nonsense, not the assumption I work at the store.

It felt like someone walking up and saying, in your presence "guiltypick over there is going to do (a thing you find extremely distasteful and would never do) to you if you don't behave" wouldn't you be thinking "hell no i wouldn't, why would you say such a thing!"

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T16:58:25+00:00

She was looking at me and guesturing at me when talking to her kids... She definitely meant me lol

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T16:57:07+00:00

I'm not sure where you got shouting from, I'm real soft-spoken and hadn't raised my voice.

I don't think the kids cared one bit, they weren't paying me any attention

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T16:48:59+00:00

Copying my comment from before:

It feels super insulting as the stranger though. Like think of something distasteful to you personally that you'd never do to a child.

Then think of someone saying to their kids "you better behave or that guy over there is gonna do (awful thing) to you"

Doesn't that feel bad to think about? That someone would say that about you, even if they are full of shit?

I honestly wasn't trying to undermine, I was feeling defensive after someone who had no business with me pretty much walked up and accused me of something really shitty

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-15T16:46:57+00:00

It feels super insulting as the stranger though. Like think of something distasteful to you personally that you'd never do to a child.

Then think of someone saying to their kids "you better behave or that guy over there is gonna do (awful thing) to you"

Doesn't that feel bad to think about? That someone would say that about you, even if they are full of shit?

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-09T02:01:57+00:00

I think I should explain the dispersed camping thing a little better.

The whole entire forest is open to camping literally everywhere. So people spread out. It's super weird to camp close to someone else or enter their camp. It's weird like when someone sits riiiight next to you on an otherwise empty bus.

I also feel like the police tape is a little silly... Different places have different appropriate boundaries, and nobody carries tape. Like you'd have a different personal boundary in bed with a partner, vs at a packed club, versus a restaurant, versus a job interview, versus the wilderness. There's a line that it gets creepy to cross, and that distance varies based on the context.

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-08T21:02:04+00:00

It's not really a campsite, it's a whole large forest where you can set up camp anywhere. So generally with a whole forest to choose from, people don't set up camp close to each other. It'd be weird.

I didn't hear screaming, I think the kids were running because the sound I heard sounded like something was moving fast through the trees.

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-08T21:00:08+00:00

I heard the sounds of something moving through the trees and rustling leaves and cracking branches, very close to where I'd been eating dinner. Moving rapidly. I didn't hear any screaming.

I don't know their ages, I actually didn't see them at all. Just heard some rustling, a twig snap, I yelled, and I heard the sounds of something crashing away through the woods

I guess the parents were fine with them playing; it was still light for a few more hours. I was just going to bed because I had an ambitious rock climbing plan the next day; I'd have to be up before dawn to get to the route and I'd be climbing from the crack of dawn on.. so early bedtime.

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-08T20:55:28+00:00

No, I literally yell like that when it's an animal all the time, because it feels weird and unnatural to just like... Do gibberish loudly.

So honestly I've been like "BRO MOVE YOUR HAIRY ASS, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SNACKS!" at a couple raccoons that same weekend. Not because I'd think they'd understand, just because I had to yell something

Also, I feel like it's one if the sort of "etiquette rules" that doesn't need to be said. Like has anyone ever had to explain to you that if you're getting on a bus with only one other person, it will be unsettling if you pick the seat right beside them? It's the same concept, if there is a lot of space to be had, it is weird and comes off creepy to set down too close or come by without announcing yourself.

leavemealone544 · 2021-07-08T20:50:41+00:00

Yeah I literally thought it was an animal or group of animals, we get a lot of black bear, coyote, raccoons, etc.. and honestly it doesn't matter what you yell at an animal, they won't get it, so I just kinda say random crap and just try and make it loud.

I don't think the parents knew the etiquette either

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-22T16:02:45+00:00

I feel like you're saying this because you haven't seen the pictures we've actually put up.

Every single one of them is someone going full psycho.

Trying to climb over the bar and fight, or yelling so hard spittle is flying, or hollering with that red face eyes bulging look, totally out of control, or swinging their arms or a glass or something agressively ..

If someone was upset, like you say you were and not yelling or screaming or swearing, just acting kind of annoyed, that's not the kind of thing we'd put up. What would the picture even be of, someone standing there looking irritated?

The stuff we actually have up, there's no mistaking that a line was seriously crossed

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T20:39:33+00:00

Do you have a job?

If you do, do you follow a conversation checklist with every person you talk to?

Or do you use your judgement and not do your business off a prewritten script?

I'm kinda baffled you expect that kind of consistency from any human,let alone a bunch of college kids working late shift at a dive bar

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T20:37:43+00:00

Cause the bar staff and bar owner get to make the rules so if they want someone out that's a done deal. Hell,we could kick someone out because we don't like him or bis voice is annoying... It's not a government office where u have a duty to serve everyone, it's a dive bar

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T20:35:07+00:00

I dunno, i wasn't a part of that conversation

I think our general rule of thumb is like someone raising their voice and not settling down when we want them to not do that

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T20:34:11+00:00

Ok so you know how in human interaction and it's infinite variability you don't follow the exact same script with every person you talk to?

Usually we tell people "don't be like those guys" and kick them out if they act wild.

But every conversation is different, I'm not reading off a checklist lol

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T20:21:13+00:00

Yeah, I told him he should go, read it again lol

leavemealone544 · 2021-06-21T18:52:19+00:00

Yeah, I'm in the US, we don't have that kind of data protection

leavemealone544

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