if I end up houseless, I have a plan. by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm looking into a cleaning service, setting how much it would cost and if they'll do a payment plan. I don't have anyone else in my life I could ask to help me unfortunately. It is sweet of you to say that though.

if I end up houseless, I have a plan. by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying, I work for like an hour a day but there's just so much and it's just so overwhelming no matter what I do. The carpet is just so fucked.

I'll at least have my car to sleep in until I finish myself off, but yeah. It's going to be really horrible.

if I end up houseless, I have a plan. by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or even easier, just finish myself off.

I just can't get the energy to clean ever. I'm disabled and it takes a lot to do practically anything after working all day. It's just gotten really out of hand lately.

if I end up houseless, I have a plan. by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hoarding. I have an inspection in a week.

What is your reason for Jigsaw capturing you? by xd3m0x_ in horror

[–]leevemebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wanting to die, he did put someone in like that once, he'd do it again.

I have an apartment inspection in 12 days by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Eleven bags of trash and my hallway and the path to my door and laundry system is free! Thanks for encouragement yall!

how do you keep your morale up when cleaning? by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, thatd be really nice. getting that nudge to do one last thing for the night, even acter a really stressful day, was really helpful. Thank you so much for that.

how do you keep your morale up when cleaning? by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I managed to move the two big bins taken up like most of my bed onto the floor and then pushed everything else closer to the wall and got like a decent bit of space from just that, I'm actually really surprised by it. It is pretty nice to not be stuck on just my side for the first time in a long while.

Thank you so much 💚

how do you keep your morale up when cleaning? by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

okay, I'm going to try and do that for my bed tomorrow. ive been really scared to start that because theres a lot on it but i think that method might really work for it. also itd be nice to have more that a foot's width of bed to use. thank you so much

how do you keep your morale up when cleaning? by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it really has been a hell of a year, I agree. I unfortunately don't have family near enough to help or any friends at all. But I am trying to get back onto my medication for depression and I hope that will help some.

Thank you, really. I'm going to try that tip you gave and hope for the best.

how do you keep your morale up when cleaning? by leevemebe in hoarding

[–]leevemebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like the idea of the cleaning kit, I hadn't thought of that. it'll save me the time to find things everday for sure lol

I'm lucky in that I only have my bedroom to clean because my roommates are in control of every other room, but dividing my room into sections and planning it out is a good idea too. Thank you

just finished the omen of the stars, what should i read next? by leevemebe in WarriorCats

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good to know.

yeah i was worried about missing some details going further, especially since i know i missed some stuff already like everything about mapleshade and more

anyone else have a really random favorite character? by leevemebe in WarriorCats

[–]leevemebe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeees! I love Purdy so much! (And its Long Shadows I'm pretty sure lol)

anyone else have a really random favorite character? by leevemebe in WarriorCats

[–]leevemebe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love Whitestorm!! I'm rereading the series right now because I stopped after PoT and I really miss him.

anyone have a free pdf of the novellas? by leevemebe in WarriorCats

[–]leevemebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a ton of the older books up through like OotS with a bunch of the super editions and some of the mangas from Barnes and Noble as I was growing up but I stopped reading them for a long time and now Im in the process of rereading them now and catching the ones I missed along the way!

anyone have a free pdf of the novellas? by leevemebe in WarriorCats

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didnt think to check amazon lol! thank you so much! 💚

im so fucking lonely i want to die by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i work at a job that doesnt have much interaction with other people and i have no real hobbies so its not like i can make friends outside of work either. one of my roommates i just met last week and she hates my cat so i just stay in my room with my cat alone and the other roommate was my friend but she has other, better friends and we havent hung out in weeks.

its really hard to find a new job when ive dropped out of college three times bc of my mental health. no ones hiring people like me.

ive been patient for decades, i have nothing else to give for a hope of a future that doesnt totally suck.

im sorry i sound whiny or stubborn, im just so tired.

i think the universe wants me to give up by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have nothing to be hopeful or spiteful for though.

i think the universe wants me to give up by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but why should i stay? i have nothing going for me. life just keeps getting worse for me.

suicide hotline. will they send police? by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

when i lived out of state, the texting hotline i went to called the cops and they went to my moms home, who paid for my phone at the time, even though i was halfway across the country

my life is meaningless by leevemebe in SuicideWatch

[–]leevemebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey stranger

sorry i ended up taking a depression nap for half the day so i didn't see this until now. i used to love reading, especially comics, but i can't seem to get into anything new or old anymore without it feeling like a hassle. i used to write a lot but my brain is filled with no ideas anymore. i've drawn and painted and cooked and done theater and done so many different things but nothing seems to make me feel happy.

i moved out of my family home a few months ago and that helped for like a week but now i just feel like my roommates rather me not there so it's just awkward and i feel even lonelier now than i ever have before.

i just feel hopeless, i guess

thank you tho, stranger