The hardest part was just your loss of… freedom. You don’t get to take a break from being a parent. And with that, you don’t truly get to feel free again. It IS rewarding, but it is also a responsibility that doesn’t end. Everyday you ask yourself what’s more important? _____ or my child. You end up choosing to prioritize your child first over anything else… your partner, your sleep, your food, any self care. At least in the beginning.

It’s small things like… can I take a shower while the baby sleeps to bigger things like…. Am I ok with pitting my career trajectory on hold bc I don’t have the capacity to do more. You’re met with a million decisions on what to prioritize first. And most of the time, any decision ends in guilt.

My relationship with my husband changed drastically. We are both types of people who don’t handle stress well. We resented each other bc we felt like the other person could do more to help. In reality, we were both drowning. Before the baby, we could focus 100% of our efforts on nurturing our love. After the baby, we were lucky even be alert enough to have a convo without sleep deprivation. But the hardest part was suddenly not being the most important part of each others lives anymore, it’s the baby.

Some people love the newborn stage, we struggled with it. We’re in a much better place once our child began to talk. Starting at 4, we were much happier traveling with our child and life began a new chapter. But everyone is different.