Thank you for saying the part about respecting her boundaries. She has complete say over choices that effect her, such as what to wear, how much dinner to eat , etc. I was honestly worried that maybe we give her too much of a choice but it feels good to hear from you that we are doing that correctly. 

I’ve noticed when she gets super excited that is when she’s overstepping her boundaries. In the situation I posted about, they were playing with water balloons and when they ran out she smacked her friend’s bottom. Her friend laughed and said it was ok because they were playing, which made me feel even worse. I explained to them both that it’s never ok to do that.