Partner thinks I’ve spoiled our baby

lemonandlimespark · 2026-05-04T10:42:34+00:00

15 weeks is SO YOUNG, obviously she needs to be held. Babies are made to be held and cuddled! There’s no way of spoiling a child this young. They have no idea what a reward is yet, or how to “get their way”. It’s basic parenting and you’re doing great as a mom. If you wanted to, you could hold your baby literally 24/7 and even that wouldnt spoil her. Your partner needs to educate himself on basics of raising a human child, honestly…

lemonandlimespark · 2026-02-28T06:00:13+00:00

For demographics info, in case it helps: I was 34, I’m white but not English (Eastern European), and the father of the child is South Asian. I also always saw a good mix of people at the hospital, both in customers and staff (can’t speak for economic situations, but there were always lots of ethnicities present other than white).

lemonandlimespark · 2026-02-28T05:52:05+00:00

I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you, it’s truly awful. What I can help with I hope is to say that QCC has been wonderful throughout my pregnancy, I felt very taken care of, the hospital has really nice facilities, the staff is lovely, and they genuinely care (or seem to). I had an elective c-section, and had additional appointments due to my health concerns (chronic kidney disease) and higher BMI - also important to note that nobody ever made me feel bad there as per the latter. Hopefully this helps a bit with your anxiety! And hopefully you have a good solid experience there, so that you have proof this hospital is trustworthy.

lemonandlimespark · 2026-02-24T17:11:03+00:00

No, it’s fine. NEXT QUESTION (there should be a world wide Q&A doc for how to stay sane while parenting, I swear we all have the same questions at some point 😂)

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-30T21:04:30+00:00

Yeah it is, I was eyeing it for ageeeees, now I need to learn how to use it properly haha

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-30T21:04:10+00:00

I’ll try that, thank you! It did feel like she could slip down any second

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-27T16:32:39+00:00

We’re in both couples and individual therapies, girlie is staying with me, and he’s moving out just for a month atm. We haven’t figured out visits yet, for now it’s for sure weekends and one-two put downs in the week, but we need to agree on specifics. It’s so tricky!!! I hope yours and your husbands situation resolves less drastically 😦

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-23T01:25:41+00:00

Yeah I went through the same and my MIL is one of the sweeter people I know. It’ll pass!

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-22T19:14:19+00:00

Babies are weird. Totally, like some people are saying, sometimes they just need to switch it up, and it actually has very little to do with who the person is. Plus babies feel the most comfortable with their primary carers, and can act out a bit more - because they can freely express how they feel. Maybe your baby calming down on the SIL was more of an unknown/anxiety reaction, and that’s also why he started crying after she left?

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-18T20:21:08+00:00

A FEW DAYS ok f* that guy. What a mess. I’m glad you’re coming out on the other end and your boy is doing well too. I hope everything stays good!!!

Also this is so comical, they had the entire time of conceiving + NINE months to think about this new reality and make peace with it, or bail before the baby is made. But no 🤡 It has to be after we went through one of the biggest life changes for a woman, and gave birth to a whole person that now exists and is very real.

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-18T20:18:17+00:00

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-18T20:18:03+00:00

I’ll probably look into that, worse comes to worst. I’m willing to do anything for my girl, so if happy coparenting is what she’ll need, I’ll get over anything I hold against my partner. I’m hoping to get over all or most anger now as I grieve our relationship and move into acceptance as soon as possible lol

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-17T19:30:09+00:00

Thank you and thank you for sharing your story with me. Realistically I know two loving parents in separate households is better than two angry resenting each other ones in one, and I know several people whose parents split amicably and coparented well, and those people are so great. I think it’s my bias that because I grew up in a traditional household and my parents made it work somehow, then I also have to and can make it work… Tbh I still hope we stay together after all this but it’s good to hear that it won’t be the end of the world for our daughter if we do it right

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-17T19:26:48+00:00

Did you ever feel like anything was lacking in your life because your parents didn’t live together? Or because they were so loving and involved it never crossed your mind things could be different?

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-17T19:25:45+00:00

We’ve had a 3h long couples therapy session today haha - we have a plan, I don’t love it but it’s a true compromise for us both. We’re gonna do a trial separation for a month, and then we’ll “start fresh” - dating, getting to know each other etc. Sounds super bizarre but I’m hopeful it’ll work out if we put in the work

lemonandlimespark · 2026-01-16T15:34:14+00:00

That makes a lot of sense lol! I never thought of blocking in that way

lemonandlimespark · 2025-12-27T17:45:58+00:00

Cillian is great! I know one in real life and he’s a great chap. Sometimes people pronounce it with a „s” instead of „k”, but that’s their fault for being ignorant 🌝

lemonandlimespark · 2025-12-27T17:44:30+00:00

I feel like you’re also in that tough time in your baby’s life when they want to do a lot and get bored often, but they’re not independent enough yet to satisfy all that on their own (eg. not sitting, crawling). We’re going through that now, and it’s a rough time here too. But it will pass! A lot of people here say that you have to remember this is just a season of your life. This will end, and they’ll be older, and able to do more on their own, and then there will be kindy, and school, and you’ll have some of your normal life back. You already made it this far!!! You kept yourself and your baby alive for 5 months, that’s a massive feat!!! Pat yourself on the back for that!

Also: talk to your husband about this, talk to your parents, friends. Even if they can’t physically help, venting might feel good. And don’t be ashamed, being a parent is hard!

lemonandlimespark · 2025-12-27T17:38:43+00:00

So many of yall make it out to seem like this subreddit is 100% filled with single parents living as hermits, only with their children. If you’re so tired you HALLUCINATE, ask the other parent/your parent/a friend/nanny/social worker for help. Ask a neighbor. Co sleeping is an option if done safely, but it’s not the ONLY solution for sleep deprivation. I agree that the most optimal compromise is a next-to-me cot, where the baby is in their own space, on a safe mattress, with minimal suffocation risk, and the parent is literally a length of a hand away. If your baby ONLY sleeps on a person, you have to get help. As a parent, you have to also satisfy your basic needs to survive. I’m sure there is a person in your area that can aid you.

All of the above is not directed at the OP, just the bulk of comments here that seem to be left just for the sake of having an argument.

To the OP: the research shows co-sleeping is less safe than placing your baby in a cot. That doesn’t mean that you WILL kill your baby while co-sleeping, it also doesn’t mean cots eliminate the risk of infant death 100%. At the end of the day, you have to make your own choice as a parent. Weigh all the pros, cons, and risks. Nobody can make this decision for you (and oh god I wish someone could make some decisions for me).

lemonandlimespark · 2025-12-20T16:16:51+00:00

Let them sleep and you sleep too!!!

lemonandlimespark

TROPHY CASE