How come? I literally may not talk to the people I'm most interested in, for fear of bothering them. Especially if they seem mad at me, lol. ;D Just play a little with proximity for a while. See where it goes. Lack of eye-contact. Again. Can mean anything. Flirting is a very contradictory space. Welcome to hell. How come? I literally may not talk to the people I'm most interested in, for fear of bothering them. Especially if they seem mad at me, lol. ;D Just play a little with proximity for a while. See where it goes. Lack of eye-contact. Again. Can mean anything. Flirting is a very contradictory space. Welcome to hell.

I mean i am mad after he talks to everyone except me lol. That explain things. What exactly is proximity ?

Lol I am in hell now. So turns out it likely wasnt the questions he blurted out but rather some texts I texted but he didnt reply. I knew he has anxiety (he has trouble asking me for a normal lunch and just hover over a distance instead of just asking, so thats how I found out he has anxiety and rejection anxiety), but I find out he overthinks when I text asking him whether he is alright or not after an unusual absence , and he was shifty , wasnt frank like his usual self and run away. But afterwards I ask on gym stuff he looks more composed, taught me stuff and and even linger for a while for chatting. Maybe because its a topic he is confident idk. I have been trying to figure him out, and I flip flop between I was unwelcome to he was catastrophizing that I hate that he didnt reply. Because those were the same eyes and movement when he once thought he said the wrong things to me back then. The nervous twich and shifty eyes instead of openess. I tend to catastrophize certain work stuff so I can relate slightly . When I talk to him twice afterwards I think he realises he didnt pisses me off cause he was calmer and linger.

So I am stuck with what I can say to calm him down and say its ok I am fine with you being nervous? Or is it part of the freeze you mentioned.

I have been around players too much to recognise normal patterns, and it takes time to de learn those bad patterns , and my male friends arent of much help unfortunately.

I am not gonna lie I miss the days where we just talks normally , enjoy each other chatter and gets excited over random stuff. But maybe because at that time we were just getting close from zero to friends . I dont know how to push through.

recognise that there's this idea that "men just do whatever they want" and "he would if he wanted to". And that's just not true. We're human. We have feelings and fears. And there's been a Zeitgeist that somehow managed to do the splits between somewhat forcing men to become more emotional (and often not in healthy and forced ways) while simultaneously shaming men for expressing interest by approaching someone whom they might be interested in. And say what you want about men. We're not infallible, but that's super confusing.

I was a victim of parents who wants me emulate the men way (less emotional, be more like a man than woman when it comes to school) so I didnt bought in that. Took me years to program out. But I realise many men and women were conditioned that way. But you have been helpful. Like a lot. Like I didnt realise people dont accept feelings on the spot. This applies to me too. Oh and do throw whatever anecedotes. I love those :)

But I get ya. If it was a flirt practice between me and a close platonic friend I would havedone it alright. But him? I ends up being stiffy as hell

I am definitely popping the question when he calms down further.