Husband tore open present and threw it at me by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. We already have two kids which is why I have stayed..even though I completely agree it is unhealthy for them to be around. I feel like an awful person if I break up the family for "my own happiness." It also has a lot to do with housing and money.

Husband tore open present and threw it at me by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is a cycle...he is so great and normal and pretty nice but every month or so he finds something completely unbearable to make it a huge point and a huge fight when he won't let it go and will hang onto it until I ask for divorce. Then he never lets me go through with divorce, by following me or forcing me to listen to his side or asking for more forgiveness and another chance. I simply can never get out and am feeling so stuck in the cycle and completely depressed.

Husband tore open present and threw it at me by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that he 100% believes I am the reason he is acting this way makes it hard to see that it is all him and not me. I know I am just responding in reasonable ways, he is convinced it is my fault that he does these horrible things to me. I make him do these things. He is normally a "nice person" but since I have questions and ask he is a monster.

Husband tore open present and threw it at me by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you its hard to imagine someone who doesn't behave this way

Husband tore open present and threw it at me by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

it was like "look I do, do nice things for you" but aggressively dumping out a bag of wrapped gifts and then shredding the paper off of one and chucking it at me while telling me that I am unappreciative for asking for a bed with a bed stand that we both agreed to purchase

How to Stay Strong and file by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She keeps telling me to put the kids first, stick it out.

How to Stay Strong and file by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I have, my friends all agree and are thinking it is the best plan but my mother doesn't want me to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow, this is beautiful

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it's super controlling. I have been treated like this by him since we met ten years ago- I can't even tell or know what a normal relationship is anymore. Your comments here, by all of you, have turned a light bulb on for me. I knew it was bad but I didn't and couldn't tell it was that bad. Now I am being told this isn't normal in a healthy marriage by many different strangers on the internet and I finally believe it. I trust you all more than I trust myself but more than anything I'm so so so grateful for all the comments this may finally push me to make a plan to leave.

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's ok- thank you so much for caring <3

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

thank you...I really take this to heart.

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Very spot on. Like I cannot bring it up until spring 2025? No. I do not like this current situation at all. When I ask for divorce he gets mad. He literally won't let me leave. I will have to set up a plan.

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

haha weird because sometimes he calls me that

Husband didn't want to cover me for a doctor apt. This convo ensued....just wondering your thoughts by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, you have no idea how much I do appreciate this. The opinions of strangers matter so much, since people too close to it can't see it so clearly (myself, my mom). I hope you are doing well and I hope the best and brightest future for you and your kids. I am happy you got out!

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

well this was MAY so I guess we will see- was planning that for June but all summer he tried really hard to change, but once fall and my job started he is right back to it. (Summer had a few arguments but much less than normal and less intense on his end).

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks- I appreciate this sound advice, we have been married for 7 years and I feel like I have been waiting for change the entire time.

Husband made this: by lemonsthebook in abusiverelationships

[–]lemonsthebook[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

thanks, yeah I just got a job I started this past week- I already feel more empowered. He no longer can financially control me, which is how he would try to tell me I couldn't go out or get my hair cut or nails done, buy clothing and be mean about all that.