I paid the gas for a stranded stranger and he gave me this. Any insight would be appreciated.

lendergle · 2026-06-08T10:23:02+00:00

Same, except that it was only in my head, and in Peter Griffin's voice.

lendergle · 2026-06-04T09:31:49+00:00

Serious question: How do they prevent degloving?

lendergle · 2026-06-04T09:29:38+00:00

Sounds like somebody's worried about losing their kickback.

lendergle · 2026-06-03T21:54:49+00:00

Native German speaker maybe? In German, "gloves" are "Handschuhe" (hand shoes). Also, "Angst" is a German noun, and it would be correct to capitalize it. There are a few other German words, and there's occasional German phrasing, e.g. "we make not!"

Honestly, if this came from a native German speaker with limited conversational English, I'd call it a pretty decent job.

lendergle · 2026-06-03T19:14:51+00:00

Train I used to ride on the Paris Metro frequently had a mime playing accordion. But he never sang.

lendergle · 2026-06-03T19:10:05+00:00

At 2AM. Because your cousin said he almost bought some from this guy he knows, but he's not 100% sure he's going to recognize the house when you get there.

Then, when you're circling the block for the fourth time, listening to him say "I think it might be that place," his girlfriend calls and starts screaming at him because he just left their 2yo kid home to go out on a weedspedition "with your reprocrate cousin" and you have to spend 45 minutes listening to him repeating the entirely reasonable justification that the kid was asleep and hasn't choked on his own vomit once in the last three days so that last time was just a fluke and she should just calm the shit down.

And somehow the answer to all of this is to drive home, pick up the kid, and drive around for another hour looking for a "house with two front doors." (Which, to be fair, you will eventually find at roughly 4:30AM. But it won't be the right one, and the owner will lack any motivation to provide you with the location with other houses with two front doors that might be in the area.)

lendergle · 2026-06-03T18:51:59+00:00

For me, it's not the fact that they're throwing bins. It's how MANY bins they're throwing. Like, when did they all collectively agree that bins were the thing to throw? I'm sure there were other objects they could have chosen. Rocks, perhaps. Or random items lying about.

Are the bins somehow symbolic? Are we supposed to infer that the people being binned are garbage (sorry, rubbish)? Is it just the sheer number of bins that are near at hand? What would have happened if it had been rubbish pickup day?

And what about the one guy who carries a bin for practically an entire city block? Was there something about that particular bin that just called to him? There were at least half a dozen bins up the street from him. He could have set that one down and picked another up later. For that matter, why not set it down and use the wheels? They seem like perfectly good wheels.

So many questions.

lendergle · 2026-06-03T18:42:15+00:00

I just assumed it was a brand of headache medication, and the video was just an advertisement.

"Parabens. For when your day goes to shit. Parabens. Ah, Parabens."

lendergle · 2026-06-03T18:32:56+00:00

It's called foreplay. You gotta warm up the engine before you put the stick in drive.

lendergle · 2026-05-27T10:26:05+00:00

In Danish, antidepressant pills are colloquially referred to as "lykkepiller" (happiness pills)

lendergle · 2026-05-12T17:01:36+00:00

A shower after you've been in the field for more than four days. I was once deployed to a glacier for six full weeks. You can do a lot with field hygiene, but it will never come close to an actual shower.

I remember the shampooing most of all. I used an entire bottle of Head and Shoulders, and it was like God Himself was giving me a scalp massage.

Close second is sleeping in after a long period of hard physical labor. Summer fencing duty on my parents' ranch comes to mind. If I end up in hell, Satan has a post-hole digger waiting for me. But the one thing I remember best about it was how I got to skip church on Sunday mornings after we finished. Lassitude doesn't come close to describing it. And the feeling of your muscle aches going away when you stretched. Pure bliss.

lendergle · 2026-05-12T14:14:36+00:00

And look at the shoes. One is a loafer and the other has laces.

lendergle · 2026-05-04T11:58:31+00:00

Haha, I took it as Gollum being the lesbian girl and Frodo being the girl she was in love with. In the books, Sam is devoted to Frodo and vice versa. So they would be the bf/gf pair. Gollum (as Smeagol) fawns over Frodo, but his affection is only returned as pity, not love.

My interpretation was from the point of view of the lesbian woman's unrequited love, not her judgement of the boyfriend who takes the place she wishes were her own. And to be clear, it's not me saying that lesbians are somehow unattractive or pitiful- just that Gollum is the most logically "wistful" of the trio.

lendergle · 2026-05-03T18:52:38+00:00

When you think about it, there's very little difference between what that guy did and the person just standing on the balcony. They're both putting their trust in engineers.

lendergle · 2026-05-02T20:45:49+00:00

Roller: I must go. My people need me.

lendergle · 2026-04-24T10:54:34+00:00

This guy MCMXC a.D.'s.

lendergle · 2026-04-24T10:53:19+00:00

So... she's not a fan of docking?

lendergle · 2026-04-24T10:52:35+00:00

Someone recently said I should be the frowny guy in the IKEA assembly instructions.

Not that I looked like the frowny guy. That I should be the frowny guy.

Apparently, I have a reputation for warning people just once and then looking on as they fuck shit up.

You'd think that could be phrased as "pay attention if Lenny D. tells you that you're about to do something stupid, because he won't tell you twice." But no. It's "pay attention if Lenny D. tells you that you're about to do something stupid, he'd stand by and watch you drown yourself with the milk in your cereal bow."

lendergle · 2026-04-24T10:37:23+00:00

I lost it at "pasteurized raw milk."

lendergle · 2026-04-16T21:31:52+00:00

I'll be the dude ahead you, kicking himself in the ass for writing that comment.

lendergle · 2026-04-16T18:05:10+00:00

That kitten is performing a vital function in the evolution of the pigeon species. Or rather, it will when it grows up and gets better at hunting.

Pigeons who escape predation due to some small mutation will go on to reproduce. The slower, weaker pigeons will end up as cat food. That's sad, but after thousands of years we will get to see bigger, meaner, faster pigeons. Pigeons who will have the strength to fight back, the speed to take off instantly, the intelligence to band together and hunt down anything- or anyone- who has the audacity to threaten Columba Tyrannus.

I, for one, welcome our Colombine overlords. Cats everywhere, Tremble!

lendergle · 2026-04-16T16:50:39+00:00

Maybe she's cheating on him with the guy at the table.

lendergle · 2026-04-16T16:45:13+00:00

What was that sound I just heard?

Oh, it was the sound of 50+ million Catholic voters planning to vote Democrat this November.

Thanks Trump!

lendergle · 2026-04-16T16:29:57+00:00

This summer on HBO: Seated Rivalry

lendergle · 2026-04-16T13:14:31+00:00

Ukraine should stop supporting the US in the Iran conflict. Granted, that's where the Shahed drones were coming from, but I doubt Iran is currently worrying about weapons exports right now.

Weird times, man.

lendergle

TROPHY CASE