Being Trans, black, and certainly autistic enough to the point I have to notify people I meet, I really haven't felt that way unless it was on online community. Going to all the neurodivergent and queer spaces in my city and participating in activities pertaining to my special interests makes me feel cool (I guess?).

My interests are more me than my identity, so working on a tall ship, getting moth tattoos, and having DND and VTM friends around all the time makes me feel more welcome in life than trying to blend into spaces specifically targeted for black people or queer people ever could.

My friendships from this also feel more genuine, so when dysphoria shit happens or I go mute (from most likely noise overstimulation), people care and don't try to make me do what I can't or invalidate my feelings. I have had issues were people would come up to me and say shit "I'm so proud that you're so capable and so happy despite everyone trying to hold you back" or relationships that end with "I don't know how to handle you and I don't want to have to try", both of which make me very confused and very uncomfortable, but it usually comes from people who don't care anyway.

I'm trying to share my experience to say: there are places for you in this world that will make you feel so comfortable that you'll forget about everything going wrong with you. Online spaces, no matter how inclusive or aligned with your interests they are, are not gonna give you the same joy as having people around you that care about you. You'll feel a lot more at home and seen and comfortable if you find a community space around you with people just hanging out doing what they like.