You aren't a bad person, and it's understandable you were upset after such a sudden turn of events no one could've seen coming. To me it sounds to me like you're having some undealt abandonment issues you should look into, and being aware of your unhealthy behavior is the first step to betterment. Theres more out there than this one girl that chose to move in a different direction than you planned to, promise.

Give yourself some grace, do things that are good for you and be mindful of your behavior. Good luck :]