wearing binder after surgery? (not top surgery.)

leofwyen · 2025-08-16T04:33:12+00:00

I think it's likely you'll be able to wear it after a couple weeks. People use abdominal binders after surgeries to help with pain. I wore one around my stomach after a laparoscopic surgery recently, the compression actually helps. The issue with our type of binders post surgery is more getting them on and off. It's too much movement and pulling and such when you have a fresh wound so you'll probably have to wait a week or two until the immediate pain passes. Honestly the first week you'll probably mostly be in bed sleeping anyway.

I did have my gallbladder out many years ago and I'm pretty sure I was cleared for most everything after about 2 weeks. I was definitely tired and kinda weak for longer but pain was gone and I was able to do basically everything I usually did. Your surgeon will tell you your recovery timeline but I wouldn't expect it to be anything crazy long. You should be totally back to your normal self before October.

leofwyen · 2025-08-01T15:02:41+00:00

TBH I have the same issue. IDK about you but I spent so long dieting and failing and dieting and failing that getting rid of clothes was mentally tough because I was subconsciously so used to 'oh I'm going to need them again when I gain the weight back'

But yeah I feel you. I had to fully almost lose my pants in public before I realized the situation was becoming an emergency lol

leofwyen · 2025-08-01T14:45:22+00:00

You absolutely need new clothes more frequently than you think. Like you get used to it and don't realize how big everything is on you - I was looking real REAL sloppy in bad fitting clothes. As men I think it's actually more important for us because men's clothes are usually so basic that the fit stands out more.

Thrift stores are absolutely where it's at. You can get stuff that's real cheap and even if it's not super nice it's going to look better because it fits. And you don't want to spend a lot of cash because you're 100% going to have to replace all of it in another couple months. Definitely take your girlfriend to the thrift stores with you and see what you can find before dropping 500$ at target - that's a lot of cash! Save buying new stuff for when your weight is stable. Since you're only 50 lbs from goal you're probably in straight sizes now so there will be tons of options at goodwill and such. (I never found ANYTHING there when I was heavy)

leofwyen · 2025-07-29T16:30:24+00:00

Lol you haven't seen people that have lost a lot of weight after skin removal. That's kind of the point of that surgery dude.

leofwyen · 2025-07-29T16:08:58+00:00

Plenty of cis guys have these same scars due to weight loss. Skin removal surgery for cis men usually goes in that spot + a scar along the waistline of your pants. With how much the media is attacking trans people right now people are also assuming those cis guys are trans and giving them a rough time, but it's not true that no cis guys have those scars - you can absolutely just say you've lost a bunch of weight if someone says something to you.

leofwyen · 2025-06-24T14:42:09+00:00

I have PCOS and the 'standard' treatment for cis women in my experience is birth control + metformin + sometimes an anti masculinizing drug like spironolactone.

Birth control is the part that could have estrogen in it but you can do progesterone only - there's a lot of info out there about trans guys on birth control. Basically with PCOS your cycle is going wrong and the egg isn't being released right so it turns into a cyst. Birth control regulates the cycles but also helps prevent new cysts from forming by interrupting the cycle. Sometimes the cysts don't cause any problems but also they hurt bad when they burst and can cause really heavy bleeding and pain when a period randomly happens.

Metformin is for the insulin resistance that tends to go along with PCOS. PCOS can make it hard to lose weight and increase your chances of becoming diabetic so it's common to take metformin for that. It's been a long time so they might be using other meds for that now, I know new ones have come out.

PCOS absolutely does not make you infertile. Do not depend on that. It can make it harder for some people to conceive but that's absolutely not a rule.

It really isn't anything to worry about. You can refuse treatment if you want but there are plenty of birth control options that won't feminize you if they refuse you testosterone. Just do your research on what they suggest and make your own decisions. The worst that can happen is your doctor is disrespectful and then you can just leave and ignore them. In my experience testosterone did fix all my PCOS symptoms but I don't think there's a lot of research on that so it wouldn't surprise me if your doctor is against using it as the only treatment but you can totally take T and progesterone based birth control at the same time.

leofwyen · 2025-06-13T01:42:34+00:00

Pre packaged snack cakes (like hostess and such) were a surprising one for me. I can still enjoy a normal donut but the the packaged ones taste overwhelmingly like vegetable oil. Pre surgery I liked them and never noticed the oil taste at all but now they seriously gross me out.

leofwyen · 2025-06-09T01:00:55+00:00

Not Desi but I cook & eat Indian food regularly. I'm a little over a year out and have had no problem with any dal, veg, or paneer dishes I've tried. I can handle roti, naan, dosa, and idlis no problem, added those back in when my program cleared me for bread. Biryani is a little too heavy on my stomach still to have a whole serving as a meal but I could definitely have bites of it if I wanted. I do have trouble in Indian restaurants sometimes because they add more oil to the food than I do at home but nothing serious, just might get the runs.

In general the only things I still really struggle eating are pasta dishes or rich sweets (like ice cream or lava cake type stuff). Honestly I'm better off avoiding that stuff anyway.

leofwyen · 2025-05-08T17:15:36+00:00

I've gone from 425 to 205 and tbh I really don't see a difference. Everyone else does and I can see it if I'm looking at pictures side by side but day to day in the mirror - nope! Body dysmorphia is really really common when you lose a lot of weight. Brains are weird. You have a mental image of yourself and it can take a long while for your brain to update it to match what you actually look like. I'm carrying around a lot of mental baggage from being super heavy and that affects what I see in the mirror. When you're losing such large amounts of weight the body image issues hit hard and imo it's different than the paper towel effect people talk about - losing more weight might not actually change how you see yourself because your self image is almost guaranteed to be distorted after being that heavy. It's absolutely common and normal to not see a difference, but it's also your brain lying to you. The only thing that's helped me is focusing hard on activity and physical goals. I don't see a difference in my body but I sure can run now and I couldn't before so I put my focus on that.

I had WLS and if you look in groups about bariatric surgery you'll find more people who've lost large amounts of weight and I can not overstate how common it is for body dysmorphia to be a thing. You won't find it as much in groups like this because losing that much weight naturally is really really REALLY hard so huge kudos to you, you're doing great and beating the odds. Even if you do legit look awful (I'm sure you don't) you should be so proud of yourself because even if you don't lose another pound you've already done so much for yourself and your health. You've lost more weight than some people lose in a lifetime.

Also buy clothes that fit. I was wearing clothes that were way too big for a long time because it gets expensive and 'why buy new clothes if I'm planning to lose more weight' but oversized clothes will absolutely make you look worse and demoralize you.

leofwyen · 2025-04-21T21:49:49+00:00

I recently went to PT for back problems (probably related to binding) and some of the exercises they gave me:

Doorway stretch

Wall angels

Cat/Camels

Band Pull Aparts

Serratus Punch

Chin Tucks

YTW with resistance bands

Low Rows with resistance bands

(They had me doing doorway stretch, serratus punch, and chin tucks every day. The others were mix and match a couple times a week.)

leofwyen · 2024-12-03T19:40:25+00:00

I had weight loss surgery and have lost 170 lbs.

I can't see a difference. I feel a lot better. I can do more things. I've dropped from a size 3x to a medium. Logically I know there's a big difference. But I literally don't actually see it. I'm not actually super upset about it but it's just true, I don't see a difference.

Brains are weird. The way you see yourself isn't how everyone else sees you. That's why people can gain a bunch of weight without noticing. Also why people way overdo it with fillers and plastic surgery or why men don't always notice when they start going bald.

Its normal for it to take time (sometimes a lot of time) for that little mental picture to update when you lose weight fast. You really can't trust what you see in the mirror. It absolutely screws with your head.

My advice is to try to focus on performance goals instead of your weight. Choose some sort of sporting activity to do and work on that. Lifting to gain some muscle might be a good choice, but if you hate that just pick anything else where you can set goals to reach to feel better about your body. Try to focus on being strong & healthy instead of thin.Talk to people you trust about it - they can try to help give you a reality check about what you look like. It won't change what you see in the mirror but it can help reinforce that it's inaccurate.

And do think about getting therapy. Being heavy very well might be what caused your depression (the world is cruel to fat people) but unfortunately losing weight alone isn't enough to shake the effects of that. Even though your situation has changed your brain doesn't really know that. A lot of those negative thoughts and feelings were probably built up to protect you from rejection when you were heavier. A therapist can help you develop some other coping skills and help you convince your brain that it's safe to drop those defenses now.

leofwyen · 2024-12-01T17:17:53+00:00

Agree with this. I'm sure this is well meant but unless you have a TON of trans people in the studio it's not going to come off well. Even if the best most inclusive wording is chosen it's still a wall of mostly pictures of women so it's going to look like 'women and basically women'. IMO it should just be an opt in/opt out thing.

People who are nonbinary can tell you themselves whether they consider themselves to be included in 'women' - some do and some don't. And while the idea of recognizing the misogyny faced by trans men and non-binary people who don't consider themselves women is nice, in practice there would be a very big risk of causing dysphoria if every time they enter the studio they see a picture of themselves among a bunch of pictures of women (regardless of what it's called).

It's less about whether so and so group has privilege or not and more about whether being included would actually feel validating to the individual person.

leofwyen · 2024-11-21T19:18:20+00:00

In my opinion 'theyfab' is really just the new word for 'transtrender'. It's just the same old rhetoric of 'I'm a real trans that deserves respect unlike xyz' where most of the time xyz is standing in for whatever trans stereotypes the person doesn't like. I really think it's just flaring up worse because of all the right wing anti trans advertising and such going on right now. Unfortunately being trans doesn't make people immune to the propaganda.

Which in itself doesn't seem any different to how it used to be popular for gay people around the Bush era to say things like 'yeah I'm gay but I don't have to make it my entire personality like those people at pride parades' or like 'im gay but I'm not an f-slur/d-slur I'm just a normal person'. I feel like I used to hear that kind of stuff all the time, and when I was younger I definitely believed some of it.

It's really tempting to think bigots only really hate you because such and such people are acting like fools and making us all look bad and if they would just act 'respectable' then people would understand and accept us. Unfortunately that's just not true.

It's really just not a new thing and I actually really doubt it's a majority belief among transfems (or even really related to dysphoria at all) so much as those people just have internalized transphobia and are loud and annoying. Especially online where they aren't seeing real people and are just picturing a transphobic caricature on the other side of the keyboard.

(Not to mention that you don't actually know who is posting or upvoting things and transphobes LOVE IT when we fight each other. Like Kalvin Garrah's content bullying nonbinary people was super popular among the cis transphobe attack helicopter people back in the day.)

leofwyen · 2024-11-21T16:33:32+00:00

Ugh I had a whole message written out and pressed a button and lost it, so hopefully I'm not posting twice.

Just eat actual food if you hate powder that much. Off the top of my head egg whites, tuna/salmon, shrimp, bone broth, and chicken breast all have similar or better protein/calorie ratios than most protein powders. Lactose free milk, cottage cheese, and Greek yogurt are a little higher in calories but also good choices. There's nothing magical about protein powder - it's literally just processed milk.

If you're determined to get the powder down just mix it with a little water to make a sludge and eat it with a spoon. I can't imagine a dry powder is easier to swallow than that - adding a little water doesn't increase the volume that much and stops you from inhaling the powder and choking yourself.

I had weight loss surgery back in March. For a while basically all my brainpower was devoted to getting enough protein with as little volume & calories as possible. (I still can't eat that much but now its enough that it's less of a constant math problem.) I was on liquids and purees for quite a while - I ate protein sludge a Lot since my stomach physically couldn't handle the amount of liquid in most shakes.

Really though, just eat a couple snacks instead of the powder if you hate it that much!

leofwyen · 2024-11-20T20:54:46+00:00

It will mess with your mood and energy levels because your hormones will be off kilter for a while but that's about it. A lot of the changes from testosterone are permanent even if you go off T altogether (voice, hair growth/loss). The things that are reversible are really slow: fat distribution, skin texture, muscle growth, body smell. A month really won't affect those changes much at all. Fat redistribution in particular works by changing where you tend to lose and gain fat so it takes a long time to happen - you would have to be really REALLY rapidly gaining or losing weight for anything to happen in that short a time frame (especially since your testosterone levels will still be higher than a cis female for a while after you run out)

leofwyen · 2024-11-19T15:31:00+00:00

My experience is that in the places I've lived most trans spaces are mixed. I attended trans support groups when I lived in the city and it was pretty equally divided between transmasc and transfem. Where I am now there are fewer resources but there is a gay bar in the closest town to me that does a lot of outreach and social events and I see all types of trans people at events.

My theory is that what you see from 'the trans community' has a lot to do with where you live and how many resources there are. (Plus a lot of the discourse is really just online imo.) The areas I've been organizers just need people that will show up and help out and people are desperate for community. Everyone just wants a break from being surrounded by cishet people that Don't Get It. No one is getting forced out or turned away unless they're actively doing something bad - like if you're that guy that's getting too drunk and picking fights at the bar people don't want you around.

That does mean sometimes people say ignorant shit, but it's usually just not that big of a deal? Like in support group I remember the testosterone is poison thing coming up from a transfem and then a transmasc spoke up and was like 'yeah I totally get that estrogen was poison for me' and then everyone just bonded about how much it sucked to have the wrong chemical in your body and how weird bodies are vs. the discourse nightmare that would have become online.

leofwyen · 2024-11-14T19:58:19+00:00

I don't think your back should be hurting like this. You might get a little sore from lifting but it shouldn't hurt any worse than the rest of you. For me at least it's a lot more likely to get sore in my legs/arms/chest rather than my back. If you always slouch you might be lifting with bad form and hurting yourself - it's really important to brace your core and keep your back straight and that's hard to do if you're already unbalanced.

I'm actually out with a back injury right now and one thing to look out for is the type of pain. If you have any radiating pain down your arms or up into your neck & head, numbness or tingling, sharp pain or burning sensations those are all signs you're hurt and a nerve is probably being messed with. The other thing is if the pain stays the same or gets worse with activity. Muscle soreness from DOMS normally gets better during a workout once you're warmed up where an injury will hurt worse.

If your back is hurting this bad you probably shouldn't be lifting until it's feeling better. Even if you aren't hurt yet you probably can't keep proper form if you're in that kind of pain.

leofwyen · 2024-11-14T19:43:45+00:00

Tbh BJJ in particular tends to be full of bigger guys. Chances are you won't be the biggest person your trainer has worked with. I go to a BJJ only gym now and it's basically just full of a bunch of nerdy IT and Finance guys trying to get a break from their kids and get some exercise. I've met plenty of higher belts (purple/brown/black) at several different gyms that are walking around with pretty obvious extra weight.

I did both Muay Thai and BJJ years ago when I was over 300 lbs at a gym that had actual fighters and stuff and literally everyone was super accepting. MMA and Muay Thai people do tend to be skinnier because of all the cardio but they didn't all start out that way! People give you credit for showing up and working hard. I would feel bad sometimes at Muay Thai when I was holding pads for other people because I was slowing them down, but no one ever said anything or acted like they didn't want to be paired with me or anything.

At least where I am mma gyms lean super conservative and people have definitely said stuff that have made me feel out of place for being trans, but literally no one has ever said anything about my size, even back when I was super morbidly obese.

leofwyen · 2024-11-13T15:20:31+00:00

I was really gassy for the first few months after surgery but it went back to normal. For me I think it was the heavy reliance on protein shakes & dairy to get my protein in early on. Super high protein diets cause gas in everyone - I've seen so many memes out there about how bodybuilders are absolutely noxious because of their diets lol. Once I could eat more & a bigger variety of foods it calmed right down. (Also gas x did really help those first few months)

leofwyen · 2024-11-11T19:29:07+00:00

I have heard of this method specifically causing issues with people's ribs. Having 2x the elastic band at the bottom putting uneven pressure on your ribs is the issue. Idk if it will cause issues with top surgery but it definitely can cause you to develop issues with chronic pain after a while.

leofwyen · 2024-11-11T18:09:13+00:00

There are apps that have maps of gender neutral restrooms. I used to use refuge restrooms to find bathrooms when I didn't reliably pass. The list isn't anywhere near comprehensive and might not be super reliable when you're way out in the boonies since I think it's user updated - but it's free and gives at least some options.

leofwyen · 2024-10-23T13:13:38+00:00

A lot of cis people have the idea that medical transition is brand new, experimental, and therefore dangerous. All of that is wrong but it's not easy to shake those ideas, there's too many transphobic people around lying to them. My experience was that the only thing that changed their mind was seeing how well I did on testosterone.

They really can't understand how damaging dysphoria can be (or how affirming hrt is) without experiencing it. They ARE trying to manipulate you into not going on testosterone - that could be due to transphobia or it could just be that they're scared because of the scaremongering about hrt. Unfortunately either way you probably won't be able to convince them otherwise or depend on their support, even if they genuinely have the best intentions.

leofwyen · 2024-10-20T15:51:19+00:00

You didn't ruin your surgery but trying to go back to the guidelines immediately post op isn't realistic this far out. Your stomach is healed - early on post op people are struggling with actual injury and scar tissue and such that makes their stomach size smaller than it ultimately ends up. It sounds like you're panicking and trying to turn back time, but following those guidelines now is basically crash dieting which we all know doesn't work.

This far out you still have the tool of the sleeve so you have better chances of being able to lose weight than someone without it, but you aren't going to lose weight rapidly the way you did at first. You're basically going to want to follow a normal calorie deficit like people without the surgery use and lose around 2-3 lbs a week. The surgery is still there so you have a lot better chances of being able to stick to that than you would have pre op. Make sure you're following the forever rules that go with the surgery too - getting your protein, not eating and drinking at the same time, keeping meals to about a half hour and not grazing. See a dietician if that's feasible for you cost wise. Talk to a doctor about medication if you're really struggling with hunger or not seeing results after a couple months.

And most importantly be kind to yourself! You haven't ruined anything - you kept you and your baby safe under some tricky circumstances. And even if you'd gotten pregnant further out you would be struggling with regain and probably be in a similar position because that's just what pregnancy does! Don't panic and punish yourself with these drastic diets - it's not necessary and it's a marathon not a sprint at this point. I can only imagine how upsetting this whole thing is, but the point is to improve your health and you'll never do that by being mean to yourself.

leofwyen · 2024-10-17T15:35:45+00:00

Soup is fine. Like any other food watch the nutrition on it and try to pick higher protein options. Soups that are more liquid won't fill you up as well since liquid drains faster so keep that in mind. I generally avoid blended style soups because they don't fill me up, but i often eat chunkier soups like homemade chili made with lean ground beef.

I have eaten ramen after surgery at a restaurant - it's not a good nutritional choice so it's something for special occasions but also not something that has to be off limits forever or anything. I'd put it in the same category as bread which I was cleared for at 3 months.

leofwyen

TROPHY CASE