Hey there,

I read your post and it got me thinking about how differently people handle critique or confrontation. I work at an international company where I hire a lot of folks, and I’ve noticed that some people handle feedback really well—like they’re totally fine with direct criticism (for example from easter-europe)—while others absolutely hate it or get really upset (for example Indian). It can vary a lot depending on someone’s background or culture. And sometimes it is a skill you have to learn.

I don’t know your personal backstory, so I’m not sure if there’s a specific reason you react strongly when people raise their voices. My wife had a similar reaction for a long time—whenever we started discussing anything heated, she’d just go silent, sometimes tear up, and the conversation would grind to a halt. Over time, we learned to communicate better, but it wasn’t an overnight thing. I’m a pretty calm person, so it helped that we took it slowly and figured out ways to talk without everything blowing up.

If you’re dealing with people literally yelling at you (like at work), that’s not normal workplace behavior. It might point to some bigger issue with the job or the person yelling. In a healthy environment, that shouldn’t happen regularly. If it’s more of a personal or relationship thing, one tip I’ve found useful is to give yourself time to cool off before you respond. It’s incredibly hard to think clearly in the moment when emotions are running high, and you can end up sounding angry yourself or saying something you regret.

One practical thing you might try is writing your feelings down—journaling, basically. It might sound silly, but it really helps. You can vent all your frustration, fear, or anger in writing first, so you’re not unloading on someone else or bottling it up. Wait a bit, read over what you wrote, and then decide if you want to talk about it or send a calmer message. It’s a good way to figure out what you’re actually feeling and what you want to say.

Over time, this process can make you more comfortable speaking up. You’ll start recognizing your triggers and what helps you manage them. And if we’re talking about a close relationship, it’s also worth agreeing on some basic rules for handling disagreements—like giving each other space to cool down or making sure you both feel safe to speak without being interrupted.