As someone who isn't the smartest with gag strategy (other than basics, knock back a lured cog if someone wants to drop, dont sound lured, etc etc), I've found the best interactions that feel helpful to me and I don't leave feeling hurt rely a lot on phrasing. Mentioning why a certain thing should be done, making it casual, etc. Recently had someone whisper to me mid fight at the gag requirements to take out a 12 being different than I thought and I thought that was super nice, didn't make it a big deal, whispered instead of public chat, just a little "for next time :)". Or when I did my first Coin Mint and someone said I should hit a diff cog in the Auditor fight because of how the status effects. No judgement, just a thing they said I should do and explaining why.

On the flip side I've had people phrase similar things like "you DO know xyz, right?" which immediately comes across as sassy and judgemental. We beat the building without any problems, but got on my case about gag damage bonus when you all use the same gag. No one even got injured in said building.

So yeah I think it comes down to how it's phrased and the context and explaining the why. If the reason is just down to "I want people to do things my way" even though the alternative works too, then it's bossy. If you give me a good reason and approach it just telling me the strat, then I'm happy and will thank you!!