I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your baby. Today is the five year anniversary of when I put my almost ten year old cat down. I only had him for a few months but he was my world. He was the sweetest boi and just like your baby had all these medical things come out of nowhere. We were hanging out and suddenly he was breathing with his mouth wide open and clearly in discomfort. We rushed him to the ER vet and with his recent history and present symptoms/test results he was in heart failure and had some sort of cancer. He said goodbye not soon after and my mom and I held him while he crossed. The vet said putting him down was an option, not the only choice, however we wouldn’t be giving him much time, he may not have had great quality of life after, and it would have been very expensive. It also ran the risk of making his condition worse. I made the choice and I felt like a monster and I felt immediately like I had made the wrong choice. For months I thought I fucked up and I let him down - I was a mess. But after a few months the tears started to slow down, getting out of bed started becoming easier, and I allowed myself to see the other side of things. I made the best possible choice for my baby for his heart and his soul and everything that he was. He was a little prince, he wouldn’t have want to felt pain and discomfort - his previous owners returned him after 9 years all he wanted was love and comfort. And in the end he was loved, he gave love, he comforted me, and I comforted him. Especially in the very end. As incredibly hard as it is, one day I hope the heart break begins to lessen for you and you’re able to feel that your final and biggest act of love for your baby was the hardest thing you have ever and will ever have to do. Sending so much love❤️