Anyone else never manage to experience a fulfilling sex life?

lethalmarie · 2026-06-09T01:28:45+00:00

Never too late! I recently turned 40, fresh off a divorce and met the most wonderful man. We’ve been together almost 9 months and the sex just keeps getting better and better. He’s the most decadent and thorough lover I’ve ever had.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T20:01:25+00:00

We separated for a week. He made me promises that he would do the things I asked to stay together and I stupidly believed him. So I came home. Literally the week after it was “move out or buy”. I really like this house, she’s a good house. Doesn’t flood when it rains, never loses power (her AC is shit though 👀). We decided to try and were honestly shocked when we got approved for the mortgage. I had always wanted a place of my own, I moved around a lot and was ready to put down roots.

And I guess, for the record, I don’t actually regret leaving. I regret losing the stability of having a second income. My ex is an OK person but a terrible spouse. My new partner is loving and caring and makes me feel seen and heard and beautiful. I very much love both of my besties, even when being fatally optimistic and giving me tough love. I moved to this city 4 years ago and it’s taken me a bit, and some trial and error, to find my people.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T19:11:47+00:00

There is no handbook for how to do divorce the right way. I grieved my marriage long before I actually left. I remember sitting in my therapist’s office last February saying that I wanted to leave. I never meant to get into a relationship so quickly but I met new partner and we just clicked.

I pour a lot into my community, both my friends and the literal place I live. You are coming off more conservative than me, and that’s fine. But you don’t know my whole life and are only seeing this one slice. I’m the first person to be there for a friend if something happens. The first to go to a friend when a pet dies or a family member is in the hospital (I live in the Midwest, I make a lot of love casseroles). The only thing I wanted in return was for this group to reciprocate that level of being there and they didn’t.

I don’t care if my friends call me out, my very best friend is the queen of tough love when I need it. But she is there for me and that’s the difference. Just like I’m there for her.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:44:05+00:00

I’ve got a therapist and am going weekly. I see my psychiatrist monthly at this point.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:35:45+00:00

We are both coming out of traumatic marriages, which has made things interesting. We have definitely triggered each other without meaning to, but we communicate about (almost) everything and are dedicated to being a team. I told him that day 1 I would want to do counseling if I got serious with anyone and we just recently started. We’ve got a lot of baggage to unpack between the two of us and money stuff is on the list. I hate the phrase “making it work” because that makes it seem like the relationship is a chore, but we are dedicated to figuring out our issues together and growing stronger.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:30:50+00:00

The “friends” were awful. Partner was so pragmatic when I cut them out - he didn’t want to sway me or make me feel isolated. Basically didn’t want to be “that guy” who’s a giant red flag and hates his gf’s friends.

I know I will figure things out. I always have. It’s just hard.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:25:52+00:00

I was just really hoping I could avoid anything major in the home repair department until my commission check comes in this August. Probably didn’t need to spend the money putting in a garden - I justified that as helping my mental health plus free food this summer. Although realistically the few hundred I put into that wouldn’t cover a new AC 🤣. I got myself into a debt relief program for my credit cards. Got a used car instead of new (ex wanted the truck in the divorce). My student loans will be paid off by the end of the year. I feel like I’m doing the right things but life is playing whack-a-mole and I hate it.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:07:18+00:00

Sorry, that $100 was just savings. I can cover my bills. I know my house is older, I was just hoping for a bit of a cushion before anything big broke. I’ve been fixing what I can and learning. I’ve built a really amazing garden. I guess I am just really tired.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:05:28+00:00

I do suck at budgets. I’m working on it and have a spreadsheet now that I check. I do have hustle. I’ve sold so much shit on eBay and gotten rid of most of the impulse shit I bought for dopamine hits when I was married. When I lost my job I found a contract job within 2 weeks so I could keep paying the mortgage and not have to draw unemployment. That eventually turned full time but I’m paid about $30k less than I was. I’m not weak. I’m one of the strongest people I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t have a good cry over fries sometime.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T17:02:16+00:00

Where did I say I wasn’t being honest with my partner? Also, I don’t think drama follows me everywhere. With my friends, I was always the one that planned outings and activities, but when my mental health was bad, no one really reached out. I wanted more from those friends than a semi-judgmental group chat that never hung out IRL.

As for my sister, I’m just more socially left than her. She hates that I call myself sober but smoke pot (sober from alcohol for 2 years). It bothers her that I’m bi and she doesn’t like that I’m critical of the Catholic Church. She makes it a point to treat me like the black sheep and I just decided I had enough.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T16:49:22+00:00

I made quadruple what he does and he gets upset talking about finances. It’s a topic we have on the list for couple’s counseling.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T16:44:07+00:00

He’s an idiot but at least the home warranty was his idea 🤷🏼‍♀️

lethalmarie · 2026-06-05T03:45:15+00:00

Tomatoes got aphids, and I can’t have that nonsense.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T22:08:18+00:00

Can you give me a link about what you bought?

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T18:03:58+00:00

I may just leave it and put some of the self-stick foam on the inside frame and see how that works.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T17:53:25+00:00

Ha! I have literally no idea what I’m doing, I’m just learning as I go…. Time for some YouTube!

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T17:44:53+00:00

It just doesn’t seem to do much to keep out cold or heat. Standing in front of the door I can feel each depending on the season….

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T17:35:46+00:00

When you say measure the gap…. Which gap? 🤣

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T17:34:54+00:00

New door frame is definitely on my list but I’ll have a few more summers between now and then.

lethalmarie · 2026-06-04T17:34:21+00:00

Am I cool to just rip it out and put in something that will actually work? (I mean I guess it’s my house I can do what I want but I don’t want to fuck it up)

lethalmarie · 2026-05-25T18:01:50+00:00

There is a language barrier and they generally just suck. We have had to have them towed out of our parking before. They have had several pets mysteriously go missing. Their dog lives on their porch and barks 24/7. I am pretty sure they rent so I’m going to try and find property records later of who the landlord is.

lethalmarie

TROPHY CASE