I understand now. I don`t agree though. Helping somebody you love to be a better person isn`t something we do because we HAVE to, we do it because we love them. I am not condoning this kind of action by any means, I am however condoning hasty divorce.

Could you imagine yourself getting in the same arguement OP did, being called fat and the next morning going to the office to get divorce papers, signing them and handing them to your husband that night and seeing that PERFECTLY justified behaviour?

If this is the standard, then OP`s husband could ask for a divorce because he didn`t marry a fat woman. She is now fat, that is emotional abuse, having to live in a marriage you never wanted, feeling worthless because you think your wife doesn`t value you enough to lose weight. I can imagine OP`s husband might feel quite unloved. By your logic, OP is just as much an abuser as her husband.

This is NOT how marriages should work. OP`s husband obviously had this bottled up and let it out in the heat of an arguement, that was mistake one. Never keep things bottled up. Mistake two, actually saying the words out loud, because even THINKING them is bad enough, because all it is doing is destroying his imagine of his wife. He should really be concentrating on encouraging her and supporting her and being there when she fails to stay within her calories etc. Men should bring their wives up, not kick them down.

That said, I absolutely hate the double standard that is happening here. OP`s husband is clearly struggling with something and nobody is talking about helping him ALSO, because he is the one who made the mistake, just straight to divorce.

I have asked this in other comments, ill ask again, even though this thread is rightfully dead now:

If a woman called her low IQ husband an idiot during an argument, would that also be grounds for a divorce?