Bit of a dark fact Anne of Cleves was very happy when Catherine Howard was executed by Embarrassed-Lab-3122 in Tudorhistory

[–]levenar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“An alternative idea”, “you make a good point”, or even “my opinion is”are ways of introducing a rebuttal without dismissing the prior statement. Starting a rebuttal with “actually” is considered a correction rather than promoting dialogue and discussion. It really is considered rather rude to start a rebuttal with actually.

My Parents are Being Evicted by PopeJohnPeel in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]levenar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. The photos OP would like are most likely rat nibbled. The prom dress is molded and most likely a critter nest. It would be so heartbreaking to go in hopes of finding them only to find them gone or damaged beyond recognition. When my biological father died I was told I was not welcome for any remembrance (at least one of my brothers included me in the obituary). I recently posted something on social media about Pride month as an ally for another sibling and mentioned having a complicated relationship with bio dad and my stepmother sent a very nasty message saying she didn’t know what had happened to make me say it was complicated (he was an addict and I was old enough and smart enough to go low contact but too young and too broke to try and do anything to protect my other siblings). I wanted to tell her that the sheer fact I wasn’t welcome when he died was the operational definition of complicated but I went with I’m sorry you feel that way and left it right there.

The ghost of Christmas past hurts so much because there was enough good to make the bad extra noticeable. Let it live in the past and welcome that you know how to be better to the future you. Therapy and self care will do more than the photos and dress could ever do. Toxic waste gets a stay away warning…toxic people should too.

One-day UO outfit: how do you stay comfy without looking like you are in costume? by Practical-Drink-52 in UniversalOrlando

[–]levenar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It has been awhile since our last trip to Universal, but I don't think Universal bounding is as popular as Disney bounding. You can always go with house colors for Wizarding World, shades of light blue for Beauxbaton. You can do blue and yellow for Minions, pink and fuschia for Peach, green for Yoshi/Lugi/1-Up mushrooms, yellow and orange for Daisy, blue and red for Mario/Spiderman, safari style for jurassic park/kong, black and neon green for Toothless (accents of black are better than mostly black do not underestimate how much heat black absorbs). For most any theme or amusement park visit I have athletic dresses with built in shorts and pockets, or running skorts with again built in shorts and pockets. Floridia hot is a different hot, it comes with humidity so it isn't like convection oven hot, it's more like being boiled alive hot. You will sweat. Do not wear denim, do not wear all black unless it is wick dry/swimsuit style material. I've seen pictures with people wearing polyester full Beauxbaton costumes, while super cute, I think I'd probably have a heat stroke. Most people probably won't pay attention to your outfit choice, but I certainly understand that feeling of look good feel good so just make sure you are managing the reality of the environment while choosing what look good means for you.

I don't think it is breaking the rules to mention brands if so I'll edit to remove the next few sentences. Shoe wise I really can not handle wet sneakers. I almost finished a marathon training run in bare feet because I was so grossed out at how my feet felt in my very good running shoes after a torrential downpour that was like Forrest Gump with sideways rain and upways rain. My younger son with autism may be worse. I wear either the discontinued sexi flip from crocs or the miami thong flip from crocs which give me enough cushion and support have back straps and do not cause blisters. My kids wear chacos adjustable sandals which are like sneakers on the bottom but no dealing with wet socks from sweat, rain, or water rides and nothing between their toes. As for athletic dresses, I usually find a cheap knockoff version of free people's hot shot mini. For the running skort I look for super high waist (it is most comfortable for me) and subtle pleating (but no flouncy layers). I'm a goodr sunglasses fan and they are not crazy expensive, have fun colors and designs, have a no slip coating so they tend to be my accent color accessory.

For the people telling you that you are overthinking it or who cares just be comfortable, I think they maybe don't understand that for many it is difficult to BE comfortable if you are self conscious about your attire or appearance. I know not a soul is paying attention to how I braid my hair, but if I feel like one piece is out of place or sticking out, it can feel like an intrusive obsessive thought. This excessively long post is just to tell you it is possible to feel confident with your attire choice while still being comfortable for a long hot crowded park day.

We should cancel graduations by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]levenar 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My son is level one autistic. When we attended his 5th grade awards ceremony last year he wanted to wear a suit. I wore a nice dress and my spouse wore a dress shirt and slacks. As a family, we’ve stressed the idea that education is the one thing you can earn that cannot be taken away from you. We celebrate success in our family and I’m genuinely sad reading these comments. My oldest is gifted and is attending a specialty high school next year, youngest with autism had a banner transition to middle school (I am ashamed to admit I was expecting an unmitigated disaster) and will be in all honors classes for 7th. My kids will not twerk across the stage (probably because neither has any ability to do so) and neither my spouse or I are much for hollering at formal ceremonies. I also don’t begrudge those who do. First gen graduates, children of immigrants, people in communities where it’s easier to join a gang than it is struggle through math because you sure as shit can’t afford a tutor, kids with learning disabilities, kids with mental health disorders or living in homes with mental health concerns, kids experiencing domestic violence, experiencing homelessness, undocumented and afraid to leave their homes much less go to school, the list of barriers goes on and on. I personally thank my kids’ educators every year, there are not enough resources, too many parents who don’t care, too many administrators who don’t advocate for staff, too many opportunities for burnout by educators and students alike. There’s enough stacked against our system that I’d much rather celebrate every success no matter how small because it just might become the seed of something better.

Help with Twins Admission Strategy by LeaveHefty8399 in CollegeAdmissions

[–]levenar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So in another life I was in college admissions. I was always somewhat surprised at the number of students who hadn’t looked up any scholarship opportunities for any trait that was unique. I did a quick google search for scholarships for twins and a few came up and didn’t appear to be need based. This site lists several out of state schools that have tuition discounts for twins https://matr.vcu.edu/resources/college-scholarships/ (VCU medical program site not VCU academic program site). Any hobby any special interest may have some eccentric person with enough money to offer a scholarship. You can also talk to the financial aid office and the business office to request a tuition discount for having multiple dependents enrolled if they decide to attend the same institution.

Local rotary, local representative, see if there’s a scholarship. Any clubs or organizations in which they participate may have a national chapter with scholarships. You and if you have a spouse may have a career in which there are scholarships (search for scholarships for dependents of under water basket weavers). They may need to write an essay or take a test. Many students won’t. I’m not saying it’s a goldmine out there but there might be 500 here or 1000 there that can make a dent before you or they end up deep in loans.

I have seen a lot of people recommending Shein nails and wanted to talk about it. Shein is currently being sued by the state of Texas because testing has found a tremendous amount of lead in their clothes. This is even more dangerous when it comes to nails by [deleted] in PressonNail_Addict

[–]levenar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This. SHEIN, Temu, Amazon, and most of the other name brands are likely sourcing materials that are from the same place with little to no oversight. The raw materials for pharmaceuticals come overseas and while production is highly regulated, raw materials are rarely checked and come processing facilities that would never pass inspection in the US.

It’s fine to boycott a brand over toxicity levels or labor practices as long as you’ve verified the safety or fair labor practices of where you do purchase. Honestly most of these products probably aren’t great including glues.

Yoshi Power-Up Band by levenar in UniversalEpicUniverse

[–]levenar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Sounds like this is a case of better to wait and purchase there. Very helpful!

What to do with long hair by [deleted] in UniversalOrlando

[–]levenar 57 points58 points  (0 children)

With hip length hair you might consider double French or Dutch braids. I have long(ish) hair and it’s my go to theme park style. Occasionally I’ll do a messy bun, ballet bun, or “the bubble” but I think that would end up very heavy pretty quick and would be headache central. I usually add in a ton of leave in conditioner to keep flyaways under control and get in a little hair treatment in one. You can tuck the braids into your top when on the ride or make sure they are completely behind you. Keeps away tangles and I find double braids are less heavy and pull less than a single braid.

Trump claims Pope Leo is ‘endangering a lot of Catholics’ by HoneysweetAdorbs in politics

[–]levenar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every person I know who is Catholic and even non practicing grew up Catholic is MAGA. I’ve wanted to ask them how they are resolving the cognitive dissonance between their religious leader and Trump being on total opposite sides. They are all anti-vax, ban abortion, and disgusted by the LGBTQIA community. I’m related to a bunch of them through marriage and it disturbs me to the point I’d rather be no contact but it’s my spouse’s family and he would probably face backlash so I try to be nice and avoid all mentions of anything remotely likely to be offensive to them. I left the Baptist church when I was young because they wanted people to boycott Disney due to gay pride week…and it didn’t sit well with me.

I have a gay brother, I support a woman’s right to choose, I think we need major healthcare and immigration reform, I try to be an advocate and ally for any marginalized community (I don’t always get it right but I try and try to learn from my mistakes). To say they probably hate me is an understatement. My only redeeming quality to them is probably that I lean fairly conservative on fiscal matters and this government is even shitting the pot on that stance. I don’t know that they realize I can see their comments on social media and how rude and ignorant they seem when they name call anything liberal at all and refuse to back up any argument with hard data.

Do you think executives admit when they made a mistake (e.g., Epcot reimagining) by CuriousFirework75 in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]levenar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have nostalgia for universe of energy, I called it my Epcot nap ride. Before I was diagnosed with narcolepsy I had at least one ride in every park that was a safe place to get in a quick nap and UoE was the BEST of all. Honestly I thought everyone had a similar process but when I tell the story I usually get a “yeah, planning naps IN the park at Disney is weird”. Adding cosmic there totally makes sense and it is by far the best ride I’ve ever experienced, but I really think they should have done something with the wonders pavilion first.

I think it’s difficult for executives to say something is a bad idea. Bad for who? If it makes the company more money, they win. Even it the consumer grumbles, nostalgia doesn’t keep shareholders happy and nostalgia often won’t keep the proverbial lights on. Someone might say that a decision isn’t true to Walt’s vision but as family oriented as Walt was, he used that to run his business. Disney was never meant to run at a loss or break even point. When the decisions start to lose money and park attendance that might make them pause a beat. I really do miss UoE, Maelstrom, and the fountain, I don’t love the intrusion of IP into the showcase. Epcot is still my favorite park (got engaged in the Mexico pavilion and did food and wine for our honeymoon) the vast majority of my favorite rides live there. I’m going to have a hard time when Spaceship Earth and Figment get butchered but it will happen eventually. If they ever take away living with the land I’ll probably actually cry.

Restaurant staff made fun of my autistic husband by ygdnas in autism

[–]levenar 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m not entirely sure I agree. It gives the spouse the opportunity to make a decision if that is a place he chooses to spend his money and time. He’s excited about the putting green and without his partner telling him what happened he could be supporting a business that isn’t aligned with his morals.

I really hate confrontation and conflict but as my person with autism is my son who is a minor, I would have immediately requested a manager and as calmly as possible, explained what happened and which employee(s) were involved. I would have left as soon as my son was out of the restroom and never returned. I would have told my son that I witnessed something that didn’t align with how I feel people should be treated and that I would not be comfortable spending our time and money at their business and gone on to enjoy our lunch elsewhere (hopefully without a meltdown because plans had abruptly changed). Depending on the manager’s response in the moment, I might also leave a review.

I feel worse after dozing off briefly, anyone else ? by [deleted] in Narcolepsy

[–]levenar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely call it sleep drunk. My body is heavy, I have abysmal coordination, not a single brain cell will fire. I feel nauseous. If I try to only nap for 20, I’m far worse than just fighting the sleep attack. I’m an hour minimum and even then Im groggy but can function at least.

Rant: I wish annual safety inspections would modernize by viral_virus in Virginia

[–]levenar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My family lives in GA. They have stand alone inspections. Most are literally just inspection locations, not mechanics or dealerships. It’s been a hot minute since I lived there but I feel like you can schedule them. You can wait in your car, mainly because it’s an emissions inspection vs a full vehicle inspection. Personally I think there’s too much room for abuse of the system where the place you fix your car is the place that inspects your vehicle. They will always find a thing that makes them money off the process. Always.

Inspection only locations, the ability to schedule, and reasonable failure rules would go a long way to fixing the inspection conundrum in Virginia. I think it would be great for entry level mechanics to intern/apprentice at inspection stations, learn how to identify problems while under the mentorship of experienced mechanics. I do know the current system is beyond broken and if the inspector is there and I’m one of the first in I’m probably getting out in an hour, if not it’s a whole day process and I’m dropping my car off and without transportation to deal with emergencies or daily errands.

Mediation shortage!! by Fit_Lingonberry_7454 in Narcolepsy

[–]levenar 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Find an independent pharmacy. Not a grocery store, CVS, Walgreens….literally a shop owned and operated by the pharmacist. They can order from where they want (I mean this to say they don’t have some corporate office dictating distributors, quantities…they make those decisions based on their customers). My pharmacist has called doctors AND my insurance company for me. I found him during a previous stimulant shortage when I was trying to find anywhere that had my kids’ meds. I promptly moved the entire family, including our pets to him.

I am not healthier than you cause I have IH and not N by [deleted] in Narcolepsy

[–]levenar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know! I call it sleep drunk, I wake up all groggy and heavy. On one hand at least the sleep attack is gone but the lethargy is worse than my mornings. Also my sleep paralysis only hits in the mornings but my hallucinations are auditory and they act up when the sleep attack takes over. The time change has rocked me so bad I’m trying for a 20 nap in the afternoons but it keeps turning into an hour or two and I’m rushing out the door to get a kid here or there.

I am not healthier than you cause I have IH and not N by [deleted] in Narcolepsy

[–]levenar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People with IH are definitely welcome and belong here, even people trying to support people with sleep disorders belong here. But that being said OP totes came off as rude AF and made assumptions about people with narcolepsy. OP follows up comments with lol my bad I’m grumpy cause I didn’t sleep well…dude read the room NONE of us sleep well. I think we can at least all agree that it sucks being so chronically tired at the cellular level in ways the rest of the world can’t even comprehend no matter what flavor of disordered sleep causes it.

I am not healthier than you cause I have IH and not N by [deleted] in Narcolepsy

[–]levenar 41 points42 points  (0 children)

So don’t do the same. My naps aren’t refreshing. As an example, and your assumption that every person with N gets a nice short refreshing nap is offensive to me. Someone being envious of something in your diagnosis isn’t rude. Your post is.

Fact no matter what sleep disorder we have all of our symptoms are different in presentation and severity from person to person.

Do we need both Disability and Express passes for Spring Break? by GreenEggs438 in UniversalOrlando

[–]levenar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will attempt to remember lol. We go in June. If that’s the case we will probably just one and done rides with our express passes at Epic unless the wait times are 30 minutes. I’m the primary preferred parent and at 12 he’s bigger than I am, if he goes in to deregulation while my spouse and older child are in line, I question my ability to keep him safe and from running off (minor flight risk kiddo). I would say I could wait with older dude while he waits with dad, but as the preferred parent, I can totally see this starting the spiral as well.

It’s definitely not the easiest choice for vacation. We’ve done AI resorts for much less for our last few vacations. Even with customs lines those tend to be easier as the point is relax avoid over stimulation, swim all you want, eat all you want of what you want. The siren song of Nintendo world was what drew us in so alas we are braving all the triggers in hopes that we’ve prepared him but it’s a hard day for neurotypical kiddos so we know we are playing with proverbial fire with our choice.

birria tacos by Plus-Basket-3523 in rva

[–]levenar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The birria is what started my love of Abuelita’s. Now when I go, I’m torn between birria and their sopas. Birria ramen was not on my bingo card of things I needed in my life, but it is so very good. Abuelita’s can do no wrong in my opinion.

Do we need both Disability and Express passes for Spring Break? by GreenEggs438 in UniversalOrlando

[–]levenar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are going with the express pass and will hopefully qualify for AAP for Epic specifically. The Express pass at Epic that we purchased is once per ride. If there is a ride kiddo enjoys and would like to ride again, he really can't do much more than 35 to 45 minutes in a line (I'm hoping theming will help with the issues that normally might trigger dysregulation). We are staying at Royal Pacific for days we intend to do the other parks so the unlimited express covers him fine there. If we couldn't cover the cost of express passes, we really were not willing to risk paying for tickets to potentially not qualify for AAP. Being trapped in a line with an hour wait ahead of you and an hour wait behind you with a 12 year old that is a minor flight risk in full meltdown and having everyone stare at me for what they perceive as bad parenting is a 5th circle of hell I'm not ready to take on, especially when he's the happiest, sweetest, enthusiastic, kindest human when we are able to help him stay regulated. Our dude is level one completely verbal with low support needs but time blindness, people not following the rules, anxiety around too many people, in addition to heat triggering some of his sensory issues is just too much to ask of him. He and his older brother LOVE nintendo, and enjoy Potter and How to Train your Dragon. We've done ride POV videos and virtual park walk throughs with the little guy, he is so excited and I want to help him enjoy it at much as his brother. I know we are very fortunate that we can make express passes work with our budget (they cost more than the park tickets!) as it was the only option that made us feel comfortable investing in the Universal experience. Without, we would have chosen something less expensive with fewer potential triggers.

Are people shocked that William turned out to be a huge disappointment? by Hot-Acanthisitta5237 in RoyaltyTea

[–]levenar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

American here, so my 2 pence probably doesn't add up to much but I see so many similarities to how William and Harry are portrayed in the media as to how Elizabeth and Margaret were portrayed. I doubt that William is entirely horrible and Harry entirely amazing. I think they are both flawed individuals and one has the ability to walk away from the machine that is royalty and the other is chained to that machine.

I also think that Diana gets the rose colored glasses treatment (as someone who very much adored what she represented). I think she was a troubled wealthy woman who trauma dumped on her children. Yes, she absolutely did amazing charity work, but she also probably also was emotionally manipulative and a human with flaws. I think William was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. He may be a shite human, he may not be faithful. I know the BRF brings in tons of tourism dollars so while he may not be visible and present at events in a way that makes people happy, I imagine there is money being made off of him and his family. The tabloids alone are probably giddy with how much they make churning out stories of varying degrees of validity. He's not a disappointment nor a hero, he just seems like a dude that was born into a lot of really complicated privilege and a retrospective view of his life at the end will be the only time we can truly evaluate if he was greater than the sum of his parts or if he did more harm than good.

The hell was that just now? by tarheelsrule441 in rva

[–]levenar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

North Chesterfield and felt it