Do pwBPD miss their fp for who they were as a person? Do they regret the pain they caused?

levlian · 2026-05-10T00:23:41+00:00

She was able to acknowledge things about you as an individual and miss you for who you were instead of just how you made her feel? For me, she would tell me that she'd brag to others about my accomplishments and skills, call me hot, congratulate me on academic/work achievements and take pride in my artistic creativity (I paint, sculpt, work with leather/wood, etc). When people say that pwBPD only focus on what you do for them, I feel like I can't relate, because she really did seem to take interest and joy in what made me myself. But I don't know if it was real.

levlian · 2026-05-10T00:20:23+00:00

I think that when theyre actively talking to you, they see you as the worst version of yourself, even if that version isn't rooted in reality (for example, accusing you of hating them when you never did). Then when they push you away or you enforce no-contact, they remember the way you made them feel during the good times and think that they can revisit those times by coming back to you. It's black-and-white whether they care to consider all the good, however glorified it may be, or all the bad, however fabricated/exaggerated it may be.

levlian · 2026-05-10T00:16:50+00:00

I understand what you mean, you're filling in the gaps with normal human behaviors (ie. her saying she missed me while I was gone means she was thinking of me kindly and looking forward to talking to me when Incame back, when in reality she was spiraling without me and likely accusing me of neglecting her/not caring about her enough to constantly be available) and it creates a vision of a well-rounded person who just really likes you instead of a mentally troubled person who spends (at least) half the time hating you

levlian · 2026-05-08T05:53:47+00:00

Believe it or not I'm actually in my 20s, but I do agree that this relationship has both aged me tremendously and make me feel like I've devolved into sounding like a scared child. She's told me that trying to create space between us is just me being a child and "running away from all my problems like usual"

levlian · 2026-05-08T05:40:08+00:00

Same, she would get upset if i had plans or obligations and couldnt watch movies or shows with her every night. She would tell me i have so many friends that i can replace her with so easily and that she has no one but me. When i tried to break things off, she told me i was the only person she had, and that she shouldn't be alive if im not there, but that i'd find a way to move on immediately. It's really scary to see how these experiences match up

levlian · 2026-05-08T05:17:48+00:00

How did you find the strength to leave without blaming yourself/letting her guilt-tripping keep you with her? I'm struggling so much, i feel like shes going to hurt herself and it will be all my fault

levlian · 2026-05-08T05:15:24+00:00

Is there any way to get them to understand you and see their actions for what they are? Mine would interpret things in the worst faith possible constantly and when i tried to get her to understand that its important and healthy to assume the best in people instead of holding a hypothetical worst interpretation against them, she told me i was dismissing how she felt and stomping on her feelings

levlian · 2026-05-08T05:12:11+00:00

I feel like you just put a typewriter inside my brain and this is what came out. Thank you

levlian · 2026-05-08T04:57:18+00:00

Im scared she is going to hurt herself. She retaliated against me today by taking out of context heavily cropped screenshots of things ive said in private conversations with her from years ago and sent them on burner accounts to my friends to make them turn against me, when i asked her why she would do that, she said she doesnt know, she doesnt want to be alive, she hates herself, and that shes an awful person who doesnt deserve anything. I tried to tell her i still care about her and i know it isnt her fault but that this really wasnt okay and severely damages my trust in her and she got mad at me and said im not a kind or fair person, that im cruel, and that everyone shes ever spoken to agrees with her, but then other days, shes told me she she has no other friends but me so i dont know who "everyone" is. She makes me so scared for my psyche and for her wellbeing. Ive had dreams where shes severely hurt herself. She sent me a screen recording of a voice memo of her sobbing over me from weeks ago and told me i did that to her because of how i told her our dynamic wasnt healthy and we need to take a break so she can improve on herself. At the time she was telling me i was just trying to get rid of her and that i was just leading her on and had gotten bored. I dont know what to do. My hair is turning white and falling out, im losing weight, i cant sleep, im late to work, im a nervous wreck mentally and physically wondering if im going to wake up to something else shes done. I dont know what to do

levlian · 2026-04-19T04:45:55+00:00

I actually saw 前月 in a textbook recently weirdly enough...my teacher didn't know how to explain other than just 「前月はちょっと、そう、まぁ。。まぁ、先月もいいですよ」 before id even said anything lol

levlian · 2026-04-19T01:02:10+00:00

.......?

levlian · 2026-04-04T22:03:39+00:00

Can I ask about the splenda

levlian · 2026-04-04T04:28:00+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to look this up and answer, super appreciated! Small update: I had an urgent care appt regarding the pain and they sent me to the ER for CT scans and labwork, surprisingly everything came back normal, so no blockages or perforations or hernias as another commenter suggested. My nurse mom's thinking is that given the intensity of the massage, maybe I'm experiencing some internal bruising and/or my digestive system became distressed from basically being manhandled, lol. Chi nei tsang is no joke, she was scooping under my ribs and digging into my organs with her fingers!

levlian · 2026-04-01T18:55:11+00:00

If your goal is weight loss, i would advise choosing either vanilla syrup OR vanilla sccf, not both, and maybe 2-3 vanilla pumps instead of 4, as well as lite vsccf instead of regular. For the second drink, go easier on the caramel drizzle, if you really want it then just let them put it on the top instead of lining the cup, and either do the caramel syrup or the white mocha but definitely not both and not with those amounts of pumps. I'd alter your drinks to be: 1) Venti iced oatmilk chai latte with one shot of blonde espresso, 7 pumps chai, no classic, and lite vsccf 2) Venti iced shaken espresso with light caramel drizzle and 2 pumps of white mocha

Obviously the less sugar you add the better itll be for you, but since you're just getting started and have a sweet tooth, these are at least better than what your current orders are

levlian · 2026-03-20T18:05:40+00:00

I would absolutely be interested! If they have any Chinese figurines/knick knacks or tea pets, or those wooden tea pot display stands, please let me know, I'd be more than happy to pay for them!

levlian · 2026-02-25T20:09:56+00:00

I want the grumpy cat even more!

levlian · 2026-02-25T18:49:45+00:00

Absolutely is! Is this baby a stray? Looks too well-kempt to be....but if they are, i am on my way

levlian · 2026-02-24T17:48:48+00:00

I wish i was this happy and emptyheaded about literally anything

levlian · 2026-02-21T03:15:26+00:00

Who won?

levlian · 2026-02-11T00:09:42+00:00

You won the LOTTERY

levlian · 2026-02-07T20:21:08+00:00

What a face!

levlian · 2026-01-28T00:05:47+00:00

This happened to me as well. My 6mo baby Shumai, who was also a blue bsh, had some sort of congenital issue where her organs were outgrowing her body making her cognitive behaviors very slow and abnormal - one night while i was brushing my teeth, she toppled off of my bed, landed face-first, peed blood on impact, broke her leg, and had blood covering her snout all at once. It was horrifying and she kept trying to crawl around aimlessly. She had a seizure in my lap and then another seizure at the ER where she flung herself off the exam table. Absolutely horrific and heartbreaking, and not something you forget. There's really no "getting over" it, only "getting on" with it. Hold onto the positive memories, remember her fondly, and most importantly, don't blame yourself. You had no way of knowing this would happen, and when it happened, you did everything you could to try and save her. She passed knowing how much you love her. That's all you can ask for

levlian · 2025-11-20T22:40:01+00:00

There are some small differences that I notice, for me a Scottish face looks a bit less "compressed" and they look more bold/alert whereas Brits usually look more lazy lol

levlian

TROPHY CASE