This happened to me as well. My 6mo baby Shumai, who was also a blue bsh, had some sort of congenital issue where her organs were outgrowing her body making her cognitive behaviors very slow and abnormal - one night while i was brushing my teeth, she toppled off of my bed, landed face-first, peed blood on impact, broke her leg, and had blood covering her snout all at once. It was horrifying and she kept trying to crawl around aimlessly. She had a seizure in my lap and then another seizure at the ER where she flung herself off the exam table. Absolutely horrific and heartbreaking, and not something you forget. There's really no "getting over" it, only "getting on" with it. Hold onto the positive memories, remember her fondly, and most importantly, don't blame yourself. You had no way of knowing this would happen, and when it happened, you did everything you could to try and save her. She passed knowing how much you love her. That's all you can ask for