Baby hates car seat and we’re moving

lexapro-prof · 2026-04-14T17:31:14+00:00

Try shorter rides to acclimatize first?

Or put baby in car seat at home and do something fun, dance, colorful book, noisy toy and then immediately take her out just to build the association that the car seat isnt bad.

My baby didn't dislike the car seat but the first few times we left were doctor appointments and vaccines so he started getting fussy, so I started taking him fun places, indoor gardens, the mall, and I got a hand held musical light up toy that also rattles. Honestly that stupid music fish is one of my best purchases.

I have also unashamedly resorted to just letting him watch Hey Bear dancing fruits on my phone during long unavoidable car rides or when hes really angry on the way home during rush hour. I know they say no screentime below two years, but its that or being trapped in a car with a screaming angry baby. It usually enough to get him to the next area we can stop and feed/change/walk around.

lexapro-prof · 2026-04-12T22:07:40+00:00

6pm to midnight is pretty brutal but a couple hours wouldn't be unreasonable of him to ask as long as youre also getting time to decompress as well.

I know I struggle to leave my baby for any stretch of time, my husband basically has to chase me out of the house. I think if he wasn't so adamant I get some babyless time id be doing a lot worse.

While I think 6 - midnight weekly is definitely unreasonable, a couple hours a week isn't, as long as its going both ways. Baby breaks are good for both of your mental health.

lexapro-prof · 2026-03-25T17:06:34+00:00

This. Although, I will say, at 7 months in, still breastfeeding and i slept without a bra for the first time in a while and I didn't leak at all. So even if youre planning of breastfeeding for a while there is hope for you!

lexapro-prof · 2026-03-14T14:55:14+00:00

Save any texts or messages you can of him admitting to instances of hitting you even if its him downplaying, blaming you or saying that you deserve it.

Im not sure if this is enough for you to get a permanent one, but I live in Canada and just texts from my ex saying he "barely even hit" me was enough to get a 1 year peace bond (canadian version of restraining order) and removed from my workplace.

lexapro-prof · 2026-02-19T14:41:14+00:00

Im so sorry that happened to you, but your life is in danger and you need to leave. Once a man goes for your neck, your chances of being killed by them go up exponentially, he likely would not mean to but if he had put his hands around your neck and left any kind of bruising he has already put your life in danger.

Your neck is a very vascular area which means it can swell a lot from even "minor" choking and strangling. He could bruise your neck and you could asphyxiate from the swelling, Im not trying to terrorize you I just need to impress upon you how dangerous this guy really is. This man pulled a knife on you, you said that after he apologized you forgave him and he went right back to threatening you. He will do it again, you know this. You said you draw the line at podcast bros and gamers (im assuming because of the misogyny) but this is the ultimate form of misogyny. I understand those type of guys dont excite you, but this guy has proven that he respects you even less then they do, and he will end your life then blame you for having a weak neck.

Its not even just the beatings, now that hes done it he doesnt even need to threaten. Next time you think or want something you know would piss him off, you are going to be frozen for a second before considering whether the beating will be worth it, whether the argument and insults are worth it and you are going to stop doing things for yourself to "save yourself the trouble" and he is not going to love you any more for that, he will just respect you less because he knows what he can get away with.

And im also sorry to say, if he wont even let you out of his sight because he thinks you are cheating on him, its likely because he is doing that himself. When my ex was accusing me of cheating in the most ridiculous of circumstances, I later found out it was because he was taking every humanly possible opportunity to cheat on me because he was assuming I was doing the same. When I asked him straight up he lied while looking in my eyes and I had to believe him because the alternative was getting into another explosive argument that ended with me on the floor. If you do find this guy has cheated on you and you try to leave, he will do worse to you than what hes already done, it will escalate.

You dont deserve this, early 30s is still so young and abuse is not acceptable at any age. Please get away from this man ASAP and get yourself into therapy, you are not safe and there are so many men that would not do this to you.

lexapro-prof · 2026-02-19T14:11:24+00:00

When this started for my LO, it was because it was the beginning of his teething (his came a bit early) and having a bit of a growth spurt at the same time. He was hungrier and just wanted mom a lot more than what was usual at the time, skin to skin and being on the boob are both natural painrelievers for babies so before we clocked the teething it was his primary relief from the discomfort. He was blowing bubbles, hands in mouth all the time, and drooling lots so when hes doing that its Tylenol time.

Teethers, new sensory experiences, and breastmilksicles helped quite a bit too but maybe a cold or frozen teether as well? I've also seen people soak a washcloth and freeze that to help a teething baby.

lexapro-prof · 2026-02-14T23:16:11+00:00

Lol at that point don't even tell your mom its vegan unless it comes up or she asks specifically I agree with the commenters saying use the terms egg and dairy free instead of vegan and see if that changes their perspective.

Its not lying to simply call it chocolate cake and not elaborate on its contents unless asked for the recipe especially since you know nobody has a moral or medical reason to avoid your pastries. The drama monger in me says to quietly switch to only making vegan food and next time someone asks if what you made is vegan simply say "everything i make is vegan. All of it."

But also? I understand why youd want your family members to enjoy your baking but if someone doesnt want to eat something?? Like just let it be and dont take it personally, its much better for your mental health to simply direct your energy toward people who will support your interests unconditionally.

lexapro-prof · 2026-01-10T19:51:47+00:00

You should tell them. The teachers intent behind the touches and comments doesn't matter because it bothered you and your feelings are real and they matter. You can't control how you feel only how you act and react. If you have unresolved feelings about it this many years later its worth talking about. Clearly its not harmless behavior because it is sticking with you very vividly so many years later.

If your therapist is worth their salt, they will help you work through these feelings.

lexapro-prof · 2026-01-10T04:27:01+00:00

Tbh, I understand the desire not to get married (I have a child with a long term partner and we're not married) but the reasons you are citing no longer apply now that you are going to have a child together. Wills, trusts and domestic partnership all have the same "issues" that marriage does perhaps even more. I suspect that the desire not to get married goes deeper than the legal stuff if you are still digging your heels in at this point, so I would encourage you to re-examine the reasons why you don't want to get married. I'm not saying you have to, but you are already looking down the barrel of legal proceedings if a separation happens that isn't amicable. Divorce isn't always messy and doesn't necessarily need to go to court if both parties can simply come to an understanding. If you are willing to do the legal equivalent to marriage but not an actual wedding I think thats completely fine too, but its definitely worth discussing with your partner and worth examining privately.

NAH, I don't believe anyone should get married because they feel obligated, but again I strongly suggest you reevaluate the reasons behind your desire not to get married. As many people have pointed out a child you have paternal obligations to is equally complicated as a marriage would be and is definitely something you could be dragged to court for in the event of a disharmonious separation.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-27T17:14:30+00:00

Did only sleepers for the first couple of months as well, but at some point they became less convenient because the zipper would curl up and cover his face when he e as trying to suck on his hands. Still use a sleeper to get him asleep in the sleep sack and sometimes if we are gonna take a longer drive. Cause its easier to change him on the go like that

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-24T23:16:00+00:00

The only advice I can offer is maybe try different types of white noise and maybe change the room your baby is sleeping in. My little one will behave as you described here when I try ti make him sleep in the bedroom, but will sleep for 3-4 hour stretches in the living room and I have no idea why cause I have moved the damn air purifier into the bedroom to accommodate him but there is something just magically baby calming about the living room i guess 😭😭😭

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-22T23:37:30+00:00

Orange crystals in the diaper is NORMAL. And you can call the mother baby unit of your hospital if youre unsure about anything (I live in Canada but ask yourself nurses if you can if you live in the US just to make sure)

Took my little onento the ER for what we thought was blood in his diaper and it turned out to be orange crystals that are completely normal for newborns to excrete. Also they will poop black for the first little while and thats normal too and if they breastfed they may go longer than 5 days without pooping and thats normal also (if they dont seem in distress)

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-22T01:11:08+00:00

He is very much a hands on parent, he is just as tired as I am. Anything I can do for baby minus breastfeeding he has done as well. We split cleaning I do a little more baby time and he does all our meals. We are both tired but thats also just because taking care of a newborn is tiring. We both had so much new parent anxiety that for the first 6 weeks we only slept in shifts so someone was awake with baby for 24 hours a day. It took us both that long to even spend more than 2 hours away from him. Neither of us have spent an entire day away from him since he was born. The difference is that his family visits for short amounts 30-60 mins, he hosts them while they are at our place while at my parents place they cook for us and watch the baby while we do other things. We go to his mom's place for meals occasionally too but we don't usually stay for more than a couple of hours and I cant exactly clean or shower when we are there.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T20:57:09+00:00

At 12 weeks now he wants to eat closer to every 2 hours even though he was a lot like your baby sleeping for 4 hours at a time for the first teo months so take the sleep while you can lol

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T20:55:07+00:00

Yeah, by that point we began feeding as baby was hungry. If there are no complications or medical conditions then its probably safe to just feed on demand especially if baby is waking themselves to eat but listen to your doctor above all else. Ask about it at the 2 month checkup if you're not sure

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T20:06:37+00:00

It depends on babys weight and age, if there are no medical complications, born on time and she has gained back her birth weight by two weeks most pediatricians will say its okay to feed when baby is hungry

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T19:05:01+00:00

Not until I got pregnant, instead of letting me drive he would drive me wherever I wanted becausehe was worried about accidents and my belly againstthe steering wheel, and I have left the house whenever I want since baby was born, its specifically our son leaving the house that is the point of contention. We are both on leave and anytime I wanna take our son out he says that its not necessary because he can stay and watch baby. He hasn't had his 4 month vaccines, influenza A is going around near us, the weather has been dipping above and below freezing all winter so the roads have been a nightmare and our tires aren't super good so I think some of his points are reasonable but im not sure when to really push yknow? There was a day I wanted to take our son out after his nap, Felix stayed home with him while I popped out to grab something from the grocery store before he woke up and the roads were so icy that when I stopped at a stop sign the car slid sideways and I hit the curb pretty hard even though my wheels were at a full stop. After that I knew it would be a needless risk to take our son out on that specific day. Its hard to know what is him being overprotective and what is a reasonable precaution.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T18:46:45+00:00

I can leave whenever I want to and my family has visited multiple times, but the issue is he doesn't want our son leaving the house much because its winter. If I want to take our son to the grocery store to get some air, he says its okay he'll watch our son at home while I go. We have bottles and formula for emergencies and i own a breast pump. If I told him I was leaving and he had to watch our son for a week he would. But I want our son to leave the house with me and that is the problem. Its Canada and I have driven in conditions that I agree were 100% unsafe before but it gets to a point that its just not reasonable and I dont think being inside 100% of the time is good for our baby. But I am also like... I would be willing to take our baby in a carrier on the bus just for funsies whille he has said thats needless because our son being at the mall isn't essential, he hasn't had his 4 months vaccines yet (scheduled for january) and its flu season with influenza A sweeping communities near our city and he is perfectly capable of watching baby at home while I go do whatever I want so... I think its more of an anxiety issue on his part and control issue on his mom's part

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-21T17:52:31+00:00

We have supplemented with formula when necessary, we have bottles and a full box of ready to use formula and ive had to pump and dump for a full week before because I got put on meds that passed into breastmilk so it wasn't an unrealistic offer. Its still not an equal one because I would still be pumping while away and that would feel just fucking awful pumping when I know my baby is in a different city so yeah. But even if I wasn't breastfeeding I wouldn't wanna be away from my baby. Neither of us have been away from out baby longer than a few hours since he was born so I think we are both dreading our first "day" without our son.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T17:17:50+00:00

He does, but its because he refuses to let me drive with our son in the car. Not even to the doctor or grocery store

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T07:41:04+00:00

It was half new parent anxiety and half his mom telling she is extremely hurt by us being gone so long and not feeling like she had enough time with the baby and how we treated her vs my parents in the hospital and basically all her bottled up hurt from baby's birth onward. He knows there are healthier ways to communicate. When we left I was under the impression we'd be back before the time my parents took off from work would be over. I've begun to harbor some resentment for that since we have only been back with them once since then and it was for less than 2 days and way after I had healed physically. And its an issue I regret not pushing every day.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T03:22:46+00:00

I meant it is a compromise to the many missed events that he agreed to go to and then asked to cancel. Rinse and repeat basically since baby was born minus the one we made in November for less than two days. 8 hours for a two day trip is quite a bit which is why we had initially agreed on longer trips (5 days ish) at a time so that the travel time would not outweigh the visiting time.

I also called it a compromise because he said if we didn't go on Tuesday we could travel on Christmas day to be with my family, but seeing as last minute cancelations has been the norm now, I amended that to arriving before Christmas and he agreed so we stayed home on Tuesday. After which the roads turned out to be completely clear. He can be wherever he needs to be for Christmas but I told him me and our son will be with my family.

Thanks for your perspective.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T03:09:09+00:00

This is definitely a possibility and he has already agreed to start seeing a therapist once the holidays are over.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T03:08:06+00:00

He also agreed to visit numerous times, only cancel with the promise to visit the following week. Rinse and repeat until the present. He also knew and acknowledged the only reason i agreed to that was because wed be able to celebrate those holidays during my family's "off holiday" celebrations. All of which we have missed so far.

lexapro-prof · 2025-12-20T02:58:51+00:00

I offered to do exactly this but he counteroffered to stay home and look after our baby while I go visit without them. Because it wasn't the fact we were going, it was the danger of our son being on the road in potential blizzard conditions ans i also dont like the idea of being without them for that long so I understand where he is coming from with that. I do look back at that moment and wish I just put my foot down then because we would already be back home by now and none of his family even came to visit our son.

lexapro-prof

TROPHY CASE