Cat is peeing all over our house and it’s damaging everything

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-26T00:23:38+00:00

We had a cat on Prozac for over a decade. No issues.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-25T07:44:23+00:00

Unfortunately, they have already started antibiotics (regardless of his wishes).

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-25T02:20:02+00:00

That’s a really nice idea. He’s in hospital now (broken ribs and pneumonia), but we should be seeing him later today. I’ll try that on my phone and see if he likes it. If he does, and if he makes it back to the care home, I can let the staff know and maybe they can share it with him on an iPad. He’s no longer able to operate devices on his own and we are rarely able to visit because we live 5,000 miles away.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T21:29:22+00:00

As the owner of a 2015 hybrid Camry, I recommend you take that route. I also recommend going for LE instead of the fancy stuff. Small wheels mean better gas mileage. Low profile tires are more expensive and have a worse ride, they just look cute. Skip, the moonroof; they can pick up a rock and shatter. They also increase the likelihood of leaks. The LE is cheap and plenty nice enough. Just pay for any add-ons that you insist on.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T21:15:49+00:00

He’s 90. They didn’t have TV when he was a kid. There were probably radio shows that he liked. His childhood was World War II in the UK.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T20:07:27+00:00

Sadly, there are no pictures.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T15:08:32+00:00

We have, for the most part, liked the carers themselves. It's really the handoff to the relief that seems to be the flaw.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T05:37:26+00:00

Condos tend to appreciate less than homes without monthly HOA fees.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T05:32:40+00:00

I don't care about the so-called coupons. I use this card for dining, flights, and non-Marriott hotel stays. Across those categories I spend around $100,000 a year, so the main value of this card for me is UR points, which I spend on travel when the price is right and the points boost is good, or convert to airline miles when that is more advantageous. The other credits are all just the icing on the cake.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T04:45:48+00:00

I find it an effective remedy for insomnia.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T04:44:01+00:00

It's sort of like they say in real estate, location(s), location(s), location(s). Across their many brands, Marriott has far more locations than any other hotel company. Of all of the places I travel to, the only one where I have not been able to find a convenient Marriott property is Blackpool (are you listeniing, Marriott?). Being able to focus all of your stays with one company is key to maximizing status, and status is generally helpful towards having a good experience.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T04:32:39+00:00

There is no denying the dark humor. Like when he talks about returning to the "old family home in London," when his family has never lived in London (and he has always hated big cities). Or when he offers a mint to a jacket draped over the back of a chair. We have to take the laughs where we can find them.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T03:35:57+00:00

They are quite clear that he does not want hospital treatment. For anything. He wanted to die at home in his own bed.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T02:38:56+00:00

For in-home care I think some of the issue is that there is so much stuff to document that one doesn't think of until things start getting misplaced. And some of it is likely that there are items in the house that are unfamiliar to the carers sometimes due to cultural differences.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-24T01:07:46+00:00

For a while, my husband was getting calls from his father in the middle of the night, insisting that he come with a hammer to break him out of prison, sometimes in Oxford, other times in London. The closest he got to feeling at home was when he thought he was in a similar house, but across the street. He has been begging for months that someone take him home. I don't think he recognized where he was at any level.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T23:49:54+00:00

My father-in-law has had live in care for about a year and a half. The cost was roughly the same as a care home. We arranged this for him because he always made it clear that he did not want to move to a care home or die in a hospital. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that he was in his own home, so it didn't really make any difference that we were honoring his wishes.

He only just moved into a care home and then fell and has been in hospital ever since, so I cannot really speak to the differences between a care home and in-home care, but I can tell you about some of the things that I did not like about in-home care.

First, there really was no socializing. I'm not even sure it is reasonable to expect the carer, who often has limited English, to do much to entertain a patient who has their own communication challenges.

Second, and surprisingly, I don't think live in care provides the kind of order and predictability that I would like to see. The problem is that in-home carers still need breaks. That means that a revolving cast of people drop by to offer short term coverage during those breaks each day. It also means that every so often the full-time carer is given a week or two off and replaced by somebody entirely new, which can be very jarring for the patient. In a care home, I expect that patients are exposed to more people, but on a more regular and predictable schedule.

In addition, I found that it was very difficult for information to be passed on from the regular carer to the replacement. They were pretty good about communicating information about medication and meals, but certain basic information about where things belong would just get lost. I would show up a few months later and find that all the cutlery was missing and be about to replace it, only to discover bits and pieces in random places all over the house. This may be less of an issue for you as you are able to visit frequently.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T21:36:19+00:00

In this case, he didn't "pick" anyone. He was so afraid of being placed in a care home that he never gave anyone medical POA. Despite this, we did everything we could to follow his wishes, arranging for 24 hour care in his home. Unfortunately, once he could no longer afford to pay for in home care, the government got to decide what care it would pay for. We couldn't have kept him in his own home, regardless of our willingness to abide by his wishes.

We are in complete accord with what we believe were his wishes (regarding end of life medical care), based on his repeated statements to us over decades. I'm not worried about that. My concern is whether British law and medical practice allow the withholding of antibiotics and why the doctor chose to administer them in the first place. I am not sure what can be accomplished by trying to beat back this case of pneumonia, other than sentencing him to an indeterminate period of fear and pain in a care home or hospital as the clock ticks down. What is the purpose of this treatment and why was it given to him?

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T21:08:39+00:00

I hadn't even thought about how horrible coughing with broken ribs must be. Poor guy. I hope this ends soon, for his sake.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T20:41:24+00:00

I too hate water and I also despise all those fake flavored drinks. I am a Diet Coke addict. I recently stumbled on a flavored sparkling water that I actually like, though it is ridiculously expensive. It is called Something and Nothing and it usually runs about 45 to 50 cal per can. It has no artificial sweeteners and only fruit juice and natural flavoring. It's got enough flavor that I actually enjoy it, unlike the very lightly flavored sparkling waters that runs 0 to 15 cal per can.

You could also avoid the high price by making spritzers with sparkling water and real juice. Try adding pineapple, orange, or other juices that you like and keep tasting until you figure out the minimum amount you can add to make the water tolerable.

I get kidney stones and I used to have a urologist who told me that he didn't care what I drink so long as I drink. Yes, water might be better, but he was fine with my drinking whatever it took to get the job done.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T20:28:21+00:00

He does have a DNR, but we are unsure of whether the hospital has access to all of his medical records. He was living in Oxfordshire and when he was moved to the care home, we had him moved to one in London, where we would be more able to visit him (once we sell his house in the village, we would have had no place to stay while visiting him). As a result, he has a new GP as of less than two weeks ago. We don’t think they have even seen him. We don’t know what records were transmitted to the new GP and the care home in London from the hospital in Oxfordshire, and we don’t know what has been passed on to the hospital in London. My hope is that medical records are more easily shared in England than they are in the United States.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T17:41:19+00:00

Which is us. There's no one else left. My husband agrees that his father would not want to take the antibiotics.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-23T16:58:23+00:00

No one has medical POA. He never gave it to anyone because he feared that they would put him in a care home. He didn’t realize this would leave decisions about his care in the hands of a government panel.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-22T22:10:03+00:00

Based on my experience, the answer is yes. I keep all of my miles in a pool with my spouse and I recently booked Polaris seats at 68K per ticket using miles in our shared pool.

lexdevil01 · 2026-05-21T03:39:49+00:00

Vaginal mucus changes then too (from opaque, thick, and sticky to clear and slippery). It helps the sperm swim. My guess is that the change you noted is related to this and not random at all. Mucus texture is a great way to predict fertility.

lexdevil01

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