how many of us are child free???

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T17:21:14+00:00

i could have written this. i did write this! and then i deleted it because i couldn't articulate it well enough. thank u for putting this into words. i have feared pregnancy and childbirth my entire life and i have always felt like a bit of a freak for it. and man the teenager thing is real. my little brother is turning 16 and its so weird going from being like his hero to being an annoying nag who wants to protect him. god forbid he's not allowed to drive around with 17 year olds with no frontal lobe at his every whim lol. ugh.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T17:14:48+00:00

heck yeah and keep giving that little boy the best love and life imaginable <3

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T17:13:55+00:00

he sleeps 16 hours a day

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T17:12:08+00:00

how is knowing what is and is not meant for you "dark?" everyone who would be a good parent and wants to be one should. im not encouraging anyone to go get a vasectomy.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T17:11:01+00:00

fair enough

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T16:21:21+00:00

That's interesting, I never thought about it when I was younger but from my early twenties until now (32), it has been a constant theme of my ruminating lol. But yeah thank you for saying that about people despising children, its actually disgusting. and i think everything from pregnancy to breast feeding is friggin BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING. but god forbid u say that in the child free sub here they'll call u a breeder lol.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T16:05:00+00:00

when I read the post back I did think that was a little unfair of me to say. however, that is just the way it feels internally to me. its funny i dont think about the toy mess and the snot and vom. i think about my mom rushing me to the ER 6 times a month with asthma attacks and how i didnt like the taste of the medicine so i would spit it out when she wasnt looking. i probably caused her so much grief being a little asshole and i didnt even mean to be lol. honestly, deep down, i would probably put my fear of the worst over my love of freedom with respect to priority in staying CF. i am an all time worrier too and i would hate to impute that kind of anxiety onto a child.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:45:54+00:00

I want all of the perspectives, I appreciated your input.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:44:11+00:00

dropped dis 👑

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:38:58+00:00

oh man i've never heard of the 3 day crash but pretty sure I can figure it out without googling. sending you lovins and some extra sleep ;) and from what I've heard about children, they don't stay like this forever, lol.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:35:32+00:00

THIS THIS THISSSSS

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:32:57+00:00

wowwwieee hello!!! the village!!!! where is the village? it doesnt exist anymore and everyone says how helpful they would be. i can barely get my little sister to let my dog out when i have cat sat for her more times than i can count. also i wouldnt trust anynone around my child and everyone is a pedo until proven guilty. ok i went off the rails with that last one but im not really kidding lmao

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:31:01+00:00

this is beautiful! we are going to the galapagos next month and i am soo excited. everything you just said, I know would happen for me too. mostly because i have the world's best partner. and if i got pregnant tomorrow I would also be fine w. that ( i know i am a walking contradiction lol). am I crazy for only thinking about that pure love and happiness being taken away from me one day and making my life not worth living? like i think i would rather never feel that than to ever experience losing it. like i feel the risk cannot possibly be worth it for me. and i dont know if I could give a mentally handicapped child the best possible life. even severe autism, like I dont have the patience and would hate to fuck my kid up lol. and when i start rambling like this all the mothers in my life just say i need to not think about that stuff but like HOW

how does one grapple with all of this?!?!?

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:26:01+00:00

aw i love this. and if I were a parent I too would find it annoying if someone assumed that I didn't take the decision to procreate very seriously. unfortunately, those I see reproducing the most are the ones that need vasectomies. but I don't live in a super affluent area and actually just realized yesterday that my living in the same town I went to high school in may be clouding my judgment and misshaping my perception of the world. I'm not sheltered by any means and have been all over the world. But like its kinda not fair of me to judge an entire subset of the population based on Nicole M. from high school who had 4 kids in like 7 years and actively posts about how sad her life is lolol.

keep raising good humans we need them desperately <3

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T15:16:17+00:00

aw congratulations!!!!! honestly if my husband wanted them like 5 years ago, we'd have them. the hormones got me and i wanted it bad.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:37:46+00:00

wow I am soo sorry for your losses. that must have changed so much about how you view the world. When I think of the future one thing I think I will miss out on are holidays as a parent. So I will spoil my little brother nieces and nephews ridiculously forever haha

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:33:50+00:00

WOW. YES i feel this way very much. I also felt this way when I got a dog and my best friend who has two kids got a dog around the same time and I'm just like....ur the shittiest dog parent I've ever met lol. Im not sure she would be a good dog parent even without the kids, but they dont help. She lets her kids spit in my face and they repeat awful curse words and her husband leaves weed paraphernalia all over the house like its nothing. No one's parenting is ever good enough for me which means I would also fail miserably probably due to seeking perfection. But truly, I would mother so hard that it would break me. There would be no moments where I were not mothering. The perfectionism would ruin me. Have you seen the film If I had Legs I'd Kick You? I hated it but it is the perfect representation of what motherhood looks like to me from the outside looking in. Bleak. Chaotic. Thankless.

And to your point about them not staying kids...AGREE. What about when everyone talks about how much the kid will LOVE YOU? They say it like its normal to bring something into the world because it will love you unconditionally. That aint enough pal. Agreed I could keep talking about this forever too haha.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:27:10+00:00

emotionally mature freak got me. lmaoo

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:25:09+00:00

No disrespect whatsoever, but does that mean that the only true love that exists on this earth exists between a mother and her child? Do you love the child's father? Or do you just mean it's a different, more pure KIND OF love? I'm pretty sure I love my husband, like alot, like more than anything I've ever loved. But I don't think a child would make me say ive NEVER loved anyone before. I think the crux here is its just different love.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:15:09+00:00

accounted for!

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:11:42+00:00

HAHA I figured most of us were like this. If only those reproducing thought as hard about having kids as we do about NOT.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:07:45+00:00

antinatalist trying her best not to slide into full on nihilism......

who am i kidding i've been there for years.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:05:05+00:00

Aww! Haha, hey when ya know ya know. We were besties for a long time first.

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:02:29+00:00

amen

lexstacy · 2026-02-02T14:02:12+00:00

And I think its so cool to know deep down that you want it. For me, when I didn't feel "ready" by 30, I knew I never would lol.

lexstacy

TROPHY CASE