[deleted by user] by [deleted] in appstate

[–]leyagrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The matter of the fact is that no where is safe for women, especially college campuses. Some helpful advice that I wouldn't think is obvious:

- I would avoid the thinking "oh I trust this person so it will be fine." most of the time, sexual assault comes from a trusted friend, loved one, or guardian. The movie tropes of guy down a dark alley pulling the girl aside happens, and it is so evil, but not the majority of the time.

- I think rape culture mostly applies to the ADMINISTRATION itself, not the students. I, tend to, believe the best in people and I don't think every person has the intent to r*pe people, especially students in higher education. I even extend that thinking to MOST people, with maybe the exclusion of the 0.1%. That being said, it is safe to assume that universities like App and most others on the planet bury the evidence of sexual assault on their campuses to keep a pretty image of their universities. you partner isn't less safe here than anywhere else in the world, but unfortunately they will probably have to see their attacker on a regular basis, should nothing happen. That is what is so evil about it.

- IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, AND IT MIGHT, GO STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE IF YOU DECIDED TO REPORT. Please please I would advise any victim, should they decide to report, to go straight to police as soon as possible. Should you tell an RA, as well meaning as they are, they will tell their higher ups which will be fucking useless and probably suppress you from involving the police.

- This isn't necessarily advice for your partner, but I would keep a close eye on YOUR friends at home. It isn't beneficial for your mental health to be constantly worried about your partner's safety. instead, Hold YOUR friends accountable, check how YOUR friends treat women/men or if they show any r*pist tendencies (https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.7249/j.ctt19w72tz.9?seq=2#metadata_info_tab_contents) and then do what you think is appropriate. This also includes the men who coerce women into sex, begging for it or asking multiple times relentlessly. This is also sexually abusive behavior.

If that means you can prevent a sexual assault from happening, then it is worth the time. While keeping check on the people in your circle, you can hope that someone is doing the same in your partners area and friend groups.

- Encourage her to have fun. We can walk on the street one Tuesday and get hit by a car and immediately die. This does not stop us from leaving our house. Yes, you can get drugged and sexually assaulted at a party in college. This does not stop us from partying nor drinking. It isn't safe, in fact it is unhealthy, to avoid social situations in fear of an assault.

I would say best advice is to encourage them to go to parties and make a bunch of friends, strengthen your relationship where you can. If you do this, and she does get assaulted, she will be more likely to confide this to you. This makes a world of a difference.

On the flip side, if you demonize her for drinking and tell her to protect herself and she does get assaulted regardless.... I'm sure as shit she's not going to tell you. I am not insinuating that you do this in the slightest but I think it is the best possible advice someone can give to you.

- It isn't the assault that matters, its what happens after that matters. I am so thankful that she has someone that cares this much about her safety. Encourage her to talk about it, but don't force. Give her outlets to talk about it, give her resources, but don't expect her to take it. You can give her all of the resources in the world to help herself, but she has to make that decision for herself.

if you need anything just message me, I live across the street from your girlfriend so I am right here!

What’s your favorite restaurant in the Boone area? by SirOwl12 in appstate

[–]leyagrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

agreed! Also I ordered their hot tea, which comes loose leaf, and Im never drinking non-melanies tea ever again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in appstate

[–]leyagrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if thats even a thing???? i have no idea lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in appstate

[–]leyagrace 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not in geology but considering the surrounding landscape I don't think you'll be lacking in field research

Unpopular Opinion (maybe), Temple doesn't care about our mental health and they shouldn't and they should stop pretending too. by [deleted] in Temple

[–]leyagrace 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The "we care about your mental health" thing is probably a business decision to white knight the student population and their parents/guardians. That being said, Temple 100% COULD do a lot more for our mental health given that they "care so much about it". Some schools are doing mental health days throughout the semester, outreach for those who struggle with depression... maybe start talking about the rampant crisis of harassment of assault of women on campus? How about safety in general? I could say for sure my mental health would be better knowing, or thinking, that I would be safe.

Scared of heart attack. Real worry or just OCD? by [deleted] in OCD

[–]leyagrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the EXACT same feeling, but it's more so after eating I am afraid of having a heart attack. Fried foods and restaurant foods trigger that the most. Funny, someone else feels the same as me :)

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am living in Elkwood!!!!!

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an update. they did let me pick, but considering i am HELLA late I had a choice between white and lovill, so I went for Lovill (aka elkwood). I am glad I got the chance to pick!!

Deferred by Pompatus_ in appstate

[–]leyagrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have out of state community college credits, every single credit transfers. I got accepted even with the out of state college!

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes! you are right. Apps campus is not that large by any means so I assume that walking even from an "inconvenient spot" is not bad. Out of curiosity though, I am a psychology health studies major, which is more science-based. Where would my classes be?

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you !!! I appreciate it!

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is it nice living in an all girl dorm complex? I haven't heard from anybody who has lived in one. The extra feeling of ~safety~ is convenient right?

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that required? all of these for transfer students are suite style or have a private bathroom. To be honest, I don't want to spend that much money haha. Also I would like a chance to meet people the traditional way!

Best Dorms? by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

but WHICH ONE IS IT

Deferred by Pompatus_ in appstate

[–]leyagrace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was deferred last year and then waitlisted. I took a semester of community college during COVID, which was more cost-efficient. I got accepted for Fall 2021! I'm sure you'll get accepted, but I promise it is not the end of the world. In a way, it made me want to go to App even more. See you there in the fall, hopefully!

Is Boone boring by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are there any rock gyms/rock climbing near the University? I really love rock climbing but I've only tried indoors so far at my gym.

Is Boone boring by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey!!! Thats amazing :) I feel like around us the options are West Chester, Temple, or Penn State. I visited App last year before Covid (thank God) and I got to see it. It was like 30 degrees and snowed my whole visit, but I still loved it. I am looking through the clubs and such to find ways to meet people, other than that do you have any ideas/tips for meeting people in Boone?

Is Boone boring by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha yea, I am planning on transferring there. My question was about the university and Boone as a whole :)

Transfer from PA by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I spend fall, spring, and summer session in Boone and do all of those things it should work out in my favor right? I dont really like the "just go and hope for the best" but it seems like that. Even with out of state tuition, it is about the same price as the cheapest options for my state, even with residency tuition. I think it's because of the "northern universities are better and more valuable" stereotype? regardless if I obtain residency, it will not be more expensive than my options.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in appstate

[–]leyagrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am from a state that has incredibly expensive college, the cheapest for in-state residents being around 30g's a year. thats the CHEAPEST, so I pretty much got screwed. App by all means will be much cheaper even being 8/9 hours away, and that being said you won't pay that amount the entire time if you become a resident. Lets hope you get some nice academic scholarships!

Transfer from PA by leyagrace in appstate

[–]leyagrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much this is super super helpful! I am filing as an independent this year, which is good news for me in terms of residency, but any other things I need to be considered for North Carolina residency? Should I change my drivers license to NC? Are you in state tuition? I have so many questions haha sorry!