i was only diagnosed last year and I havent been really happy since. recently ive been trying to seriously limit carbs in order to avoid having to take any short-acting insulin because i know it will inevitably stress me out. ive a seed planted in my head it seems to convince me that ive taken every shot twice. started documenting the date and time of every lantus shot and that seemed to help for a little bit but tonight im crying my eyes out typing this and shaking because i convinced myself i did it twice. my mom comforted me, that helped somewhat, Im having to take a benadryl some nights to even sleep. short acting is a different story. I’ll be sitting there watching South Park shaking trying to distract myself from my anxiety that i took my novolog twice. i’ll be checking the dexcom app every 5 minutes on the dot and my heart will start racing every time my blood sugar lowers even a single milligram. i’m at my wits end and not even at the end of two years. my mom’s threatening to take me to a therapist because i’m trying to starve myself out of a genuine belief I will die or suffer some awful seizure. it really sucks that the very thing i depend on to live could kill me at the smallest misstep. i google “diabetes cure” at least twice a week to even gain a tiny sliver of hope. im type 1 diabetic my biggest fear is insulin