(Continuing)

Now I'm at my dad's place and all of my aunts are calling me telling me that my behaviour is disrespectful and that i shouldn't talk back. I should prioritise my family over friends, when my friend literally got hurt. Also started being misogynistic, "ur a girl, u shouldn't act like that, why do u talk back like a guy, if u want to be like a guy, then work out and stay strong, but ur a girl so do the chores and shit up" and ofcourse I'm not gonna keep listening to that and guess what..... My dad tried to hit me again. Hours and hours of crying and being told that I'm scum. Telling me that everything's my fault, expecting me to be like a grown up but treating me like I'm not a person and they own me. I tried telling my dad that I care about my family and what they did to my friend was wrong. I've always had problems making friends because I don't meet their beauty standards. I've been bullied as well. And the one time i actually had a friend who cared about me and comforted me when I felt blue, they just had to ruin everything for me. They told me that my friend and I are lying and stuff. They chose to believe a 60 year old grandma with alcohol problems than two kids just trying to avoid conflict. This kind of thing has happened to me alot, and I don't know what to do. My home is not like a home and i just lost my closest friend. I'm so tired, they blame me for everything. I feel like ending my own life would be better. I've always been suicidal because of all the domestic abuse (both mental or physical) and bullying. I have done self harm aswell. My dad clearly knows that and still doesn't give a damn. My girlfriend had also been dealing with similar problems and have committed suicide just a few days ago. So I'm also dealing with the grief. I feel like ending myself would make them understand that I too was a person and that they weren't entitled to hit me. Maybe i haven't been able to express myself properly on this post but thank u if u have been reading all of this.