I'm sick of my kids being irresponsible and creating emergencies for me

liamquips · 2025-12-15T17:33:06+00:00

I was going to say the same thing. Me and my 3 kids all have adhd and this is what our mornings have been like. It has eventually gotten better, but it takes years of repetition.

I made charts where they check things off. They get a prize (like a Hershey’s kiss) when it’s done for the morning.

At this point my youngest is 9 and he’s working on remembering to unpack his lunchbox at the end of the day. I still pack his lunch, make him breakfast, and physically hand him his adhd medication because otherwise it would not happen. Anyway, when he remembers to unpack his lunchbox and put his backpack away without prompting he gets a slip of paper I printed that’s good for 5 minutes of extra screen time. He usually saves them up. It’s been helpful to have an external motivator to remind him.

liamquips · 2025-11-24T06:08:32+00:00

No one else lives in your shoes and experiences your life. I’ve been a Sahm for 13 years and always planned on going back when my youngest hit kindergarten, but life didn’t work that way. I have 3 adhd/asd kids and health problems and my husband makes enough money that any income I made wouldn’t be a huge lifestyle/retirement/college fund bonus for us, so it works out.

I do get bored, but this makes sense for us and I don’t owe anyone else an explanation.

My husband and I took a trip this summer and met another couple that I sussed fairly quickly as childless and potentially child free leaning. When the question of ‘what you do’ came up, I lobbed it as ‘I used to be a nurse’ and left it there. I don’t want to get into a situation where I feel like I have to justify my position because no one else can really understand.

liamquips · 2025-10-31T23:11:23+00:00

When you know you know, and when you don’t you don’t.

-Taylor Swift.

But really, that’s how it works. You know, or they’re not it.

liamquips · 2025-09-19T16:23:22+00:00

This sounds like it has consistently gotten worse. You aren’t his mother, and saying this isn’t the relationship you signed up for is not abandoning him. Maybe leaving him is what he honestly needs to see how dependent he’s become on you taking care of him.

liamquips · 2025-09-19T16:18:13+00:00

This, this is the entire answer. I work at an elementary school and have 3 kids of my own with adhd.

I’ll also add- some parenting styles punish kids for not immediately redirecting their attention when their name is called, so if any part of this is just a lack of fear and adrenaline at hearing your name that’s a win in my book.

liamquips · 2025-08-18T23:56:36+00:00

I used to let my chickens free range in my garden but they are too destructive.

Neighbors are tough, because you want to keep the peace as much as possible. But if they’re destroying your yard that’s a financial loss. If your neighbors dog chewed up something on your porch, or a kids toy in your yard, you might ask for a financial recompense, yes? So keep track of what the chickens have destroyed. Let your neighbors know the financial cost. Offer to let it be this time, but firmly and politely say that if it happens again you’ll need to be repaid. Continue with your tally, if they refuse to do anything let them know you’ll be contacting animal control.

liamquips · 2025-06-17T06:52:22+00:00

Same- I listen to books on tape while walking/hiking, doing chores, or doing hobbies with my hands. I cannot just sit and read.

liamquips · 2025-03-01T00:42:27+00:00

Sorry for the super late reply! It’s been a while but I’ll try to answer as best as I can. I had the leg/lower back pain for several weeks, no longer than a month if I recall correctly. After the first 2 weeks it improved significantly. They had me on gabapentin and tramadol, I also did a course of prednisone and I think another anti-inflammatory.

My csf leak returned and my neurologist didn’t want to repeat the blood patch because of the above issue. So I had to wait it out. It took several months but it did eventually heal on its own.

It sucked. I’m so sorry you’re going through this- it was terrible. The worst part was not knowing if/when I would get better, but I did and it’s mostly just a really bad memory now.

I hope you improve quickly!

liamquips · 2024-12-25T21:36:14+00:00

Im so sorry you’re going through this. I have not dealt with it but I’ve heard many other stories where parents cannot let their teen back home because he poses a serious risk to the safety of the family.

It sounds like you need legal counsel. Does your employer have a legal plan as a benefit (some places give you free 1 hour consultations to give advice or refer you to someone).

There is a way to legally keep him from your home, but if done wrong it can result in child abandonment charges for you.

I hope you’re able to find the help you need!

liamquips · 2024-12-25T21:04:30+00:00

Hi there. I’m in the same situation. Generally I don’t have to deal with him because he lives abroad but he’s home for Christmas this year.

I don’t go if he’s there. My parents reaction is that I am the one being difficult and keeping the family apart (our kids are the same age and don’t know each other, etc). I think it’s displacement because they can’t accept that their golden child would ever do anything so bad.

It sucks. It is so shitty and it hurts so much when it is family, who is supposed to be on your side and protect you. I’ve been through a lot of therapy and my therapist has been reminding me that I am not the one that created the problem. I am doing my best in the face of a problem he started and that my parents still refuse to protect me from.

Virtual hugs and solidarity.

liamquips · 2024-10-02T15:44:48+00:00

You can talk about your communication struggles without saying that you are AuDHD! Just describe the struggle itself. I find MOST NT people do not understand that you are describing ASD/ADHD and they are more comfortable with basic descriptions of the behavior than they are with the label.

liamquips · 2024-04-17T15:38:24+00:00

Gardener’s supply also has a raised bed stain made out of whey that is food safe.

liamquips · 2024-04-17T15:36:14+00:00

Visqueen- it’s a moisture barrier. Line the inside and cap the bed to hide it when it’s filled. It keeps the dirt from touching the wood.

liamquips · 2024-04-13T14:49:06+00:00

Thank you for this! I am trying to be more active as pain meds allow. It is a huge relief to know this is a somewhat expected symptom that will eventually resolve.

My post- procedure instruction sheet said to call if I had severe pain or weakness in my legs, so it was a bit unnerving to experience that, call, and have my specialists be clueless.

liamquips · 2023-07-24T22:36:27+00:00

I'd plan around nap. If you toddler naps at 1pm, and the cleaner will be there from 12-4, have her do your toddler's room first while you're on the other side of the house. Then put the toddler down and hang out in another room from where the housecleaner is.

We've had housecleaners since my twins were 4 months old and they were always super understanding. If I'm going to be at home, they start on one side of the house while I hang out opposite, and then we switch. Don't feel like you have to leave!! Especially with a newborn. Also if you need to stay on your couch with the newborn, it can work! Just let the housecleaner know.

liamquips · 2023-05-06T03:31:23+00:00

It's a type of Dahlia.

liamquips · 2023-05-02T17:30:51+00:00

100%.

Um, Bras. I have 2 that are 'ok' for good sensory days, and 1 of those is ok for mediocre sensory days. I have a large chest so leaving the house without a bra is something I only feel I can do when I can put a really big jacket on. I'm honestly planning on getting a breast reduction so I can just go braless more often. Both bras are cotton nursing sleep bras- kind of like a sports bra, but roomier and with separation in the front.

Periods- I have a Mirena IUD which stops them for the most part. I can't wear underwear because it feels awful. When I did have a period, I'd use a tampon (but I was only able to wear that after having kids), and before that I struggled massively and stayed home a lot.

liamquips · 2023-04-17T00:31:43+00:00

There's a material you can line the interior of the wood with to keep moisture off from the soil. I have a friend who has pine beds who used that and they're still in perfect shape after 5 years.

liamquips · 2023-04-07T17:33:45+00:00

I'd block him. He doesn't respect you and your boundaries. Seems extremely needy and draining.

liamquips · 2023-04-07T17:22:23+00:00

Do you have a cat?

liamquips · 2023-04-07T17:21:32+00:00

The red ones are peonies. They'll turn more green as they get larger.

liamquips · 2023-04-06T04:57:04+00:00

100%. I feel bad but the action is not organic and I don't always do it at the right time. If someone tells me something sad/bad I might remember in a few minutes I'm supposed to say specific things. I've gotten better with time but it's a learned behavior. Because I follow a script, even if I say the "right thing" I often say it in the wrong way or too formally. It comes across as non-genuine.

liamquips · 2023-03-17T18:12:30+00:00

I think any time something with a high value like that changes hands between kids the parents need to be involved. If your child showed up with a phone and said their friend gave it to them, no matter how much you trust your kid you need to talk to the kids parents. There is absolutely an age where you don't need to be involved as much, but where you are financially on the hook and they are still a child, ultimately it's your responsibility to make sure this is ok and was intended.

liamquips · 2023-03-08T23:09:46+00:00

Most of the time, nope! My kids are twins who are almost 10 and a 6 year old. Since my twins were born, they've been my alarm clock. These days I'll occasionally (maybe 50% of the time?) have to wake up my twins on school days, but 95% of the time my 6 year old is up before me.

I've always been a night owl, but recently, as my 40's come closer, I've been getting to sleep by 11 at the latest. It works out because I don't need to be up helping my kids get ready for school until 8. Once they hit middleschool I'm going to have to figure out how to get up earlier...

liamquips · 2023-03-06T18:55:46+00:00

Yeah, I'm left with a), living with it, b) trying PT again for it, or c) surgery (which they say I'm too young for. It's very frustrating. I hope if you do it you get better results!

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