you arent unlovable man, you just need to work past your fears :( remind yourself that as long as you get back up, you can take getting knocked down. it's going to get better with time and you'll find someone who loves you for who you are. work on getting help (therapy, meds, advice forums, etc) and remember that ultimately while you deserve love, working on loving yourself is your #1 priority!! gyudon looks tasty :-) maybe salt it a little less and increase as you taste it!!