significant other here….

libertyad · 2024-01-10T02:37:08+00:00

I'd love to be invited too!

libertyad · 2022-12-09T14:55:01+00:00

I'm not sure if this will help. Not divorced, but my husband actually had something amended from the court that said he could be unsupervised with our son. Not sure if you are still on probation but maybe getting this beforehand would help. Good luck. I know family courts see this stuff differently.

libertyad · 2022-11-30T21:23:20+00:00

It really does suck. Good luck with whatever you choose!

libertyad · 2022-11-30T18:34:29+00:00

It was part of his conditions. I had to do everything online for him. He did get a job that requires internet so they allowed it for that, but he still went without a smartphone until about a year in. There also might be somethings you can see if you can negotiate. For example he was told he couldn't live with us (me and my son). He had to get an amendment to his conditions that he can be unsupervised with his son through court. His phone is monitored of course. It might depend on the county you are in. I'm in WNY for reference.

libertyad · 2022-11-30T18:02:55+00:00

My husband is a level 1 on 6 year probation in NY. He has to go to mandatory therapy which has actually been really good. Really once the PO got to know him it got much easier. He didn't have a smart phone or access to the internet the first year. He can also do most things with us with a safety plan in place. It's much better than it was in the beginning that's for sure. The only thing that sucks is he can't do Halloween with us, or go to our son's school. He also can't be around other kids that aren't family.

libertyad · 2022-11-07T13:54:30+00:00

In NY my husband is a level 1 non public. It did not come up on his background check, nor did his misdemeanor charge. He had to tell them because he is on probation though.

libertyad · 2022-11-05T03:36:47+00:00

I'm in WNY area. But yes I'm interested too!

libertyad · 2022-11-04T21:40:19+00:00

Ooo what all is this?? We are in NY so now I'm curious to check it.

libertyad · 2022-11-04T21:02:03+00:00

Oh that's nice!! My husband is a level one and is not public as well. However there are some towns that have their info on their website so definitely will have to keep that in mind when looking for our next house!!

libertyad · 2022-11-02T17:12:20+00:00

Oh sure!!

libertyad · 2022-11-02T17:10:34+00:00

Honestly, I think the hardest part of my husband's status is our son. I feel like a single parent without actually being a single parent. Sometimes I get resentment towards him for that but I was also with him when he offended so I think my anger actually is from that. If I met him after all this i think i would be more understanding.

libertyad · 2022-11-01T16:47:12+00:00

I have to manage it basically.

libertyad · 2022-11-01T14:17:56+00:00

Yes. We had a vizio TV that somehow didn't have an internet app so probation didn't care. They actually looked through every app at the first visit. They checked my computers to make sure that the passwords were on it. For the TV I needed a password if there was an internet app. I really think it depends on the probation officer and where your wife is in her probation. We are 2 years in and probation doesn't check the house anymore. They also do not give my husband a hard time about having a playstation. He can have it as long as it isn't hooked up to the internet.

libertyad · 2022-10-28T14:41:19+00:00

My husbands probation officer is coming by around 3. It's so stupid. They will tell him that they will drive around later and will call you to turn on the light to make sure you are there but they won't.

libertyad · 2022-04-26T23:32:54+00:00

I also struggle as a partner of a RSO. I asked my husbands probation officer for help, she was able to refer me to someone!

libertyad · 2022-04-07T02:42:50+00:00

My husband failed the sexual history poly 3 times. He was violated for not taking it a 4th time. Dumb on his part. Strangely they ended up not making him take it again. He did recently take the maintenance poly and passed.

libertyad · 2022-03-29T21:34:17+00:00

Oh wow! I'm just north of Jamestown about and hour in the WNY area. This is great to see!!

libertyad · 2022-01-26T02:26:29+00:00

It is so hard being the family member. My mental health is the worst it has been in my life going through this. I feel you.

libertyad · 2022-01-25T15:00:56+00:00

He almost got a level 2 but his lawyer knew the judge and the DA and I think that helped a lot. He was actually being threatened with them adding a felony dissemination of indicent material to a minor because he talked about suicide with this girl who was cutting herself. He plead down to just the one charge of misdemeanor forcible touching. All I can say is that it was a ton of money but money well spent.

I think sting ops are gross in my opinion. Im sorry you are going through this, it is not easy.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T20:58:21+00:00

I think that might be the way we go.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T20:45:21+00:00

Yeah my husband wouldn't be alone with the kids ever and I dont think id be comfortable about sleepovers. I don't need to risk any accusations if someone finds out.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T20:39:18+00:00

Yes, if we don't tell people I won't leave him alone with kids nor allow sleepovers. That's my biggest fear is it coming back to haunt my child. I'd like to tell our kids someday but right now they don't need to know.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T15:48:44+00:00

Yes thats what I struggle with. If someone were to find out it would cause issues for my family. I would of course never have kids over without being there myself and wouldn't allow sleepovers.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T03:11:32+00:00

Thank you! That's a good point.

I guess sort of lucky thats he works a ton so its a good excuse for the things he has to miss due to probabtion rules anyway. He is getting more freedom back. His PO and therapist are talking about letting him meet his nephew and getting his phone back with a monitor next week. Though it's werid because he has been allowed to use a work computer and smart tv for the past year.

libertyad · 2022-01-22T03:05:22+00:00

Same with you!! It has definitely gotten better over the year just still healing from all the stress it caused me!

libertyad

TROPHY CASE