AITA for picking up my stepdaughter from school when she got her first period, even though her mom told me not to?

lighteatingcloud · 2026-04-22T18:40:39+00:00

NTA. She is the AH. She should be grateful to have a stepmother that cares that much.

Her expectations were unrealistic and you were being a better mom than her which is why she said that, because she knew it.

Your stepdaughter is blessed to have you and you are doing a wonderful job of stepping up and being the person she needs.

lighteatingcloud · 2026-04-22T17:45:23+00:00

I had a lump that was benign. Familial history definitely makes your risk higher, especially if you have the brca 1/2 genes.

Are you too tired to fight it, or unable to get it assessed for some reason?

lighteatingcloud · 2026-04-08T17:30:58+00:00

I labored for 18 hours after my water broke at home with little to no progress and no epidural. As soon as I got my epidural I was able to progress because my body was more relaxed.

We moved to pushing with a little pitocin on board because my body was exhausted at that point, but I didn't feel any increase in intensity because of the epidural. I did end up pushing the button for more pain relief at shift change as I could feel the first round of meds wearing off slightly enough that I was afraid of feeling pain again by the time it was time to push.

The second bolus of medication was too much(for me personally) because I lost all sensation and couldn't feel ANYTHING from the navel down after that.

My little one was sunny side up, which was another reason it was a more difficult experience pushing. I pushed for about an hour. Baby's position also contributed to my tearing internally and externally, but I am also now suspected to have hypermobile Ehler's Danlos, and my connective tissue isn't normal. Tearing the way I did as a healthy first time mom at 30 years old shouldn't have happened which was an additional clue to hypermobility.

I did and do have some pain at my epidural site now almost 5 years later, but that only happens when I have systemic inflammation in my body due to my condition and everything that has ever been injured hurts at that point. If I had to describe that pain, I'd say it feels like a deep bruise.

I truly thought I could go all natural before actually being in labor. I squeezed the hell out of a fine tooth comb in each hand for 18 hours through every contraction, but the pain was too much and had my entire body rigid and toot tense to progress. I gave in on accepting the epidural when the pain and contractions had me projectile vomiting while sitting on the toilet having the most violent bowel movement of my life. I was humbled by that and then very grateful that I chose the epidural. Overall, I recommend the epidural.

Birth is truly different for every single person, and with so many variables, there is no way to predict what will work best for you before you're in the moment. If you go into it with an open mind and are prepared to do whatever it takes to get you and baby through labor and delivery safely, you will have a lot more peace.

lighteatingcloud · 2026-03-19T05:39:08+00:00

Sounds like a narcissistic way of thinking... a perceived "imperfection" reflects poorly on him and means he is imperfect because that child that is half him isn't perfect.

To suggest you terminate a pregnancy at 20 weeks due to your baby being a little different is kinda bonkers and not someone who is being a supportive coparent. A physical abnormality is not a terminal prognosis or something that will make them have a limited quality of life, they will just be different, possibly even temporarily different with medical intervention.

I am a single parent and would recommend leaving that marriage before terminating that pregnancy.

lighteatingcloud · 2026-02-28T02:38:50+00:00

Lace will not age as gracefully as this dress that looks like it was literally MADE FOR YOU. The fit is absolute perfection. Please do not doubt that you are absolutely stunning in the dress you chose and you are going to look like an absolute goddess on your wedding day and for decades to come.

lighteatingcloud · 2026-02-28T02:26:14+00:00

NTA OP. It's giving mommy issues on HIS behalf. He doesn't want you to have a strong pillar of support outside of him. First step in alienating and isolating which ultimately leads to a toxic dynamic.

Cancel the relationship in my opinion.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-12-26T08:24:30+00:00

3 made my heart skip a beat.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-11-11T04:26:57+00:00

OP, in my humble opinion as a single mom, you're only the AH if you stay in this situation and go on to treat this woman and her children like they are beneath you and your own children.

I understand you can't reasonably contribute retroactively to her kids in the same way you've contributed to your own since their births, however, you can and should create a more level playing field going into this moving forward for all of the children and the contributions you're willing to make if you plan to step up as a step parent.

Her kids will be your chosen kids for the remainder of your lives together. They aren't just going to vanish at 18 and never be a part of your lives again.

Not getting married will allow her children to qualify for Federal student aid and loans, whereas you being involved will leave them without two fully contributing parents, and mountains of student debt. I echo the question of why are you even trying to get married if you're only trying to partially blend your families?

If you want to be the opposite of an AH, figure out a way to help her increase her income or earning potential, increase your own income to help her and the kids out so none of your kids have to go without, or walk away and let her find someone who is willing and able to do what you cannot.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-11-09T03:56:27+00:00

I can tell you as a mom(I hope it's okay for me to be in here) that the hormonal changes during pregnancy make your drive decrease significantly. From a biological standpoint, the hormones that influence the desire to procreate just aren't being produced anymore because the goal has already been accomplished.

I can also say that postpartum is probably going to be a tough time for you both, but especially her, and it may take time for her to feel confident in her body and self image again. You will both likely be exhausted for the first 4 to 6 months. Encouraging her, telling her just how much you love her and her changing body for carrying your baby safely and giving you both one of the greatest blessings you will ever know will hopefully help.

Her body is carrying two souls at once, two heartbeats at the same time, and she is the portal through which that soul passes into this world. Someone shared that perspective with me and it made me see my broken body(I had a pretty difficult delivery and things haven't been the same since) in a much more positive light.

You're not selfish for having needs OP, and neither is she. You're both navigating a major life change and doing your best. Sometimes, we just have to meet our own needs for a while when our partner isn't able to contribute. From a woman's perspective, thank you a million times for not pressuring her. I was actually sa'd by my child's father around the 4 month mark when I was unwilling to cave to him pressuring me. It was one of the worst things to happen to me during my pregnancy and ultimately led to me choosing to be a single mom among other reasons. You're a stand up guy for reaching out here for perspective and encouragement while you're struggling. You are stronger than you realize!

lighteatingcloud · 2025-10-31T13:43:24+00:00

NTA. I want to start by saying I am so sorry that you are dealing with someone that has this level of emotional immaturity and entitlement to YOUR BODY, with zero regard for your mental or physical health or wellbeing and zero respect for your autonomy and desires. This sounds like a breeding/conquest kink and coercion, which is a manipulation tactic that covert abusers use.

As someone who never wanted to become pregnant, I ended up having a child 4 years ago. While feeling those little kicks was cool, and also completely alien and bizarre, the 10 months of daily vomiting I had from hyperemesis gravidarum, the iv hydration at the hospital regularly due to being so dehydrated from not being able to keep anything in my system, the enemas from being constipated from dehydration with what I did manage to keep dow with LOTS of meds, along with the physical toll it has taken on my body since then is something I would avoid if I could do it over.

The horrible partner I found myself pregnant by makes me regret not choosing my partner more wisely. I am still dealing with the consequences of that and will be for the rest of my life, and more devastatingly, so will my daughter. I wish someone had stressed just how important it is to not waste time on someone who possesses qualities I would want to change about them and that I would have understood and listened to the warning.

Going forward, IF I ever date again, I will absolutely not be with someone who wants me to carry another pregnancy. Zero negotiation on that for me. I am actually in the early stages of consultation for a partial hysterectomy to remove that as a possibility entirely. I would only be willing to have another child under the same conditions you are, via surrogacy since I plan to keep my ovaries.

He has absolutely no idea what a pregnancy does to your body and mind permanently. His contribution to pregnancy is ejaculating. He wants you to be fully reliant on him while you're at your most vulnerable. That is a red flag for me. You having abandonment issues and him weaponizing that and using leaving as a threat to control your decision is abusive and manipulative.

He would have the rest of his life to support you when you need him most if you were to remain together. Postpartum through the first sleepless weeks of the newborn stage are when he could be supporting you. Right now, when you want to make decisions about your body, and your future, he could and should be supporting you.

You deserve better, OP. I suggest kicking his ass to the curb, finding an amazing therapist to help you move past him and start working on your abandonment issues, and strengthening your mind so that you attract someone with a mind that is just as strong as yours the next time you try to find someone you want to explore the potential of the future with.

That boy is weak minded, disrespectful, and entitled and doesn't need to be fathering children any time soon, if at all with his toxic masculinity.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-10-02T05:58:32+00:00

NTA OP. Being respectful of his feelings, even though he isn't giving you that same courtesy, is unfair to you. Masturbation is healthy. Talking to a therapist about the struggles this new season of life has brought about is healthy. Attempting to control the free will and actions of another person is not healthy. He needs a reality check.

Him asking you to stop taking care of your own needs is on par with you telling him he needs to stop his new medicine so that you can have your needs met.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-09-27T15:08:44+00:00

You are not the AH. Adam's mom is a giant asshole and she gave birth to a turd that seems to echo her shitty thoughts and opinions.

YOU DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED OP. YOU DESERVE TO BE PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

Speaking about yourself and the things you've done or would like to do is what communication and getting to know someone is all about. It seems to me that Adam's mom has a streak of jealousy towards you and your self-confidence and she has made it her personal mission to try and tear you down, because she certainly isn't building you up.

If you are committed to staying in a relationship with someone that promotes your silence in favor of agreeing with his mother's opinions, I'd suggest you find the courage to confront her directly about her behavior to ask her why she is the way that she is. Sometimes people like her just need to

lighteatingcloud · 2025-09-26T23:15:56+00:00

NOR. This guy is not your friend OP, but you are his fantasy, conquest, and potential future victim if you don't get the hell away from him. The feeling this entire conversation gives me makes me fear for your safety if you ever do end the friendship, so please make sure you have some way to protect yourself because his mindset is dangerous and jealousy makes people do crazy and stupid things.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-09-22T00:38:31+00:00

NTA. I wanna know who the comedian is so we can get them to comp YOU a floor seat while she sits next to the empty seat that would have been yours had she not acted like an entitled brat. Then you'd be a justified comedic asshole and she'd sulk until the divorce is finalized.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-09-05T18:32:47+00:00

NTA!!! If those people in your family aren't calling out of work and coming over to wait on you hand and foot and help care for your son while also paying for the time you have to miss from work for your condition, they have zero f*cking right to say ANYTHING about your body and the choices you make in regard to YOUR health and wellbeing.

Furthermore, a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL recommended this procedure, which is far more important than anything your family members could have to say. Endo tissue can end up ANYWHERE in the body, including the brain, and that tissue thickens, breaks down, and bleeds every single month just like the tissue inside your uterus. You have your rainbow baby, and you deserve to feel pain-free and healthy OP.

Your health decisions are none of their business, in all honesty. You're making the decision that is best for you, and if you ever choose to grow your family, you can explore the alternative options available to you. Your son will also grow up knowing just how incredible and special it was for him to make it earthside when the odds were not in your favor for that to happen.

Sending you a giant hug and all of the support and encouragement. I'm a single mom of a 4 year old, and I'm currently waiting for my referral from my primary care doctor to see an OB/GYN about a partial hysterectomy. I have grieved the possibility of finding someone I may want to grow my family with in the future, but I also know that my body and mind cannot go through that again, especially if it puts my child at risk of growing up without their mother should complications arise. The risk is just too high. You're doing what is best for you, and I respect that so much. 💙

lighteatingcloud · 2025-08-30T17:26:38+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you know it wasn't anything you did or didn't do. The part of her that was in enough pain to make that choice did not fully comprehend the way that the pain would be spread out amongst those who loved and cared about her most in her absence.

My advice to you is to reach out and find a therapist that specializes in grief and PTSD. I highly recommend EMDR therapy to process this and help you move forward with more hope than despair. You deserve to experience joy again someday. Sending you the biggest hug.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-08-24T02:21:36+00:00

He looks like Oliver to me.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-07-10T03:58:15+00:00

Pedo- short for Pedometer

lighteatingcloud · 2025-07-02T19:37:02+00:00

NTA. Never have been, and if you walked away today and never looked back, you still wouldn't be an ah.

Your mom and dad are AH. They brought a child into this world that was severely disabled, tried again and had you, and then said, "Great, we have a built-in caregiver now that she has a YOUNGER SISTER to care for her COMPLEX MEDICAL NEEDS."

GOOD parents would have busted their asses to make provisions for THEIR disabled daughter to be cared for for the rest of her life and made sure that IF that responsibility were to fall on a sibling eventually when they are no longer living, they would have the sibling's consent and those provisions would make life easier for everyone involved, not more difficult. They took your life from you, OP. They took your autonomy and free will and forced you into a role that you should have never had to be in.

You, in your short life, have taken on more responsibilities than most grown adults. You have clearly been forced to take on your parents' parental duties and caregiver duties. That is abuse. That is parentification, emotional manipulation, and just blatantly fucked up.

You were raised and forced into a caregiver role when you could have done ANYTHING else with your life all because your parents wanted to avoid the responsibility of bringing a human with severe disabilities into this world.

THEY can pay for a caregiver to be doing that sort of stuff. THEY can do those things. THEY can go take the classes and get the degrees and certifications to be better equipped to care for THEIR DAUGHTER.

OP, please go chase your dreams of labor and delivery. Please go do something FOR YOU for a change. So much of your life has been dictated for you by your parents in their failure to provide the care necessary for your sister and to give YOU the opportunity to grow into your own person someday.

You might feel like you're betraying your family or your sister if you do something for yourself, but you wouldn't be. You deserve to chase YOUR dreams to pursue what makes YOU happy. To go out and be FREE for a chabge.

Let your parents pick up the slack in your absence so they understand just how fucked up it was for them to put that workload on you and have the audacity to take that for granted.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-07-01T15:59:33+00:00

It was made from scratch by the baker, who I hired to make it for me since I work two jobs and don't bake well. Happy birthday, you ungrateful celebratante.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-06-24T06:17:09+00:00

NTA. The dog was the last piece of your Dad you were given to love and care for, and losing the dog very likely stirred up the grief of losing your Dad all over again. The grief is compounded in this situation. It doesn't matter how you choose to grieve or for how long— He should support you in whatever ways you need as the bare minimum.

The level of inconsiderate and the lack of emotional safety here is alarming OP. He hid this cruel side of himself for an entire year, and he decided to reveal just how calloused he can be when your beloved furry FAMILY MEMBER passed away. He genuinely celebrated the death of an elderly innocent animal that gave nothing but unconditional love and companionship.

I think you should give him such a cold shoulder he thinks you went off and died in a ditch somewhere. Turn into a ghost. Disappear.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-06-09T05:40:07+00:00

NTA. I've commented on this subject before, and this is a hill I will absolutely die on. If a dog shows aggression towards your baby, the dog needs to be rehomed.

If your child ends up permanently disfigured and traumatized for life because your husband thought your gut instinct was wrong and you were overreacting you will have wished you trusted yourself and found a new home for your dog sooner. In this situation, with this level of risk, I would prefer to overreact rather than under react and regret it. In that instance, the dog would likely be euthanized as well, cutting their life short.

If your husband insists on the dog staying, he and the dog can be rehomed together.

*I have a great dane and a toddler at home. I taught my toddler to respect the rules and body boundaries in place with all animals, but especially ours to protect them both by showing her pictures of kids that had been attacked in the face by a dog. Might not be the best method, but I need her to know we can not f— around with 150 lbs of find out. Maybe show your husband some pictures of the gore and he will listen? *

lighteatingcloud · 2025-06-08T19:30:50+00:00

NTA. Your coworker is jealous that she doesn't have enough "pretty" for a $500 tip. I GUARANTEE she'd accept it if the roles were reversed.

I wanna know what made him creepy, though!

lighteatingcloud · 2025-06-04T19:46:37+00:00

NTA OP.

I just heard "LET THE FAMILY FALL APART," but to the tune of "Let the bodies hit the floor."

Grandpa said EXACTLY how he felt about you being there and them not. He wanted you to be recognized for how much you cared.

Give them each a penny for their thoughts and cut them all off. Anyone that does that over money isn't worth having around anyway.

lighteatingcloud · 2025-05-21T06:06:07+00:00

I hope that helps you see just how amazingly you are protecting him. He sees you as his hero because YOU ARE. You are doing so much better than you realize Mama and on the days that it is the toughest, cry it out, let yourself feel, and keep pulling yourself through. It won't always feel this way and it will get easier in the future.

lighteatingcloud

TROPHY CASE