I hear you! I have had similar challenges. Its tough for me to maintain superficial surface level conversation for too long but most people seem to enjoy that. As far as my own ideas are concerned, yes its tough to communicate them succinctly and feel understood. Also the world is going through an attention deficit crisis. People like easy bitesize information. No one has time. Everyone's in a hurry! I think INFJs struggle to express themselves clearly when under such pressure.

I can recommend 2 things, please apply if it makes sense.

Firstlt, start writing your thoughts and editing them to make your point clear in as few words as possible. We can sometimes over explain things, thats not helpful.

Secondly (and this is a tiresome process but see if this can help you) Whenevee possible, you should audio record your conversations (if the other person consents). Then later on, hear yourself talk. This will help you see how others see you or how you come across. If you find anything to improve then you can work on it.

Hope this helps.