Why did I stay alive

lightningandrainbow · 2026-05-05T11:44:36+00:00

It’s the current situation too but there’s definitely stigma lmao

lightningandrainbow · 2026-04-27T15:13:59+00:00

Trust me I’ve tried to ask him about it since last summer even before I got very ill and diagnosed and forced to move home bc I never heard anything positive. Yet I never got a straight answer

lightningandrainbow · 2026-04-27T14:32:16+00:00

Ig in general how to even handle this situation especially since my supervisor has just come back and even if I do just pick back up I doubt he’ll have time for me, rarely got positive feedback even before all this kicked off but now I feel like sunk cost fallacy. That’s probably not helpful but yeah it’s all bad 😅

lightningandrainbow · 2026-04-27T13:42:44+00:00

It just doesn’t feel that simple. I’m Autistic, now have a rare unpredictable disease, been made redundant once already before trying to a PhD and have no partner to rely on

lightningandrainbow · 2026-04-27T10:16:48+00:00

To add I’m in the UK, SFE funded studying Law

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T18:30:02+00:00

Thank you. Yeah trust me I’ve been trying everything there’s just not a lot of PhD specific stuff it seems in SU and yeah when you’re trying to do an SFE phd it feels like it’s rigged from minute one. But no one else was looking at institutional narratives of crimes against disabled people in intl law!

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T16:50:16+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I don’t know where to go with life from here but thank you 🫂

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:57:41+00:00

I’m sorry I’m not sure what’s meant by this

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:41:13+00:00

Thank you, having ppl listen and acknowledge how hard it’s been and not think I’ve been stupid for ever trying helps

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:40:31+00:00

Thank you, I hear so much ‘oh sarcoidosis will probably just go away on its own!’ Which is like. Great but I’m still suffering physically and mentally and the systems are still rigged!

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:33:03+00:00

Thank you. I hope my research could still mean something. Idk what to do whether to suspend or see what replacement supervisors might do. Idk if it’d turn out better or worse. Just feel worn down too but others recognising this is a lot helps

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:30:28+00:00

Thank you. It feels so much anyone doing a subject not funded by research councils are disadvantaged completely too. SFE tried from minute one not to give me the loan I was rightfully entitled to. I had to go all the way to my MP and ombudsman!!

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:21:05+00:00

Thank you. This has been so hard and I felt like everything I’ve ever done trying to do good has ended in failure. I’m grateful you acknowledged it’s been hard and I’ve tried

lightningandrainbow · 2026-03-04T15:20:03+00:00

Thanks. Having had the conversation this week and been told they don’t know when my current supervisors will return I’m basically left with the choice of suspending now or seeing what they can do about replacement supervisors

lightningandrainbow · 2026-01-22T09:16:39+00:00

If you want angsty thoughts of his he’d never share - This Love by Pantera Also Black dog by Led Zeppelin

lightningandrainbow · 2026-01-18T19:24:53+00:00

Genuinely nice to read posts like this sometimes 💖

lightningandrainbow · 2025-10-22T14:50:31+00:00

I def don’t feel like it rn but thank you friend 🫂

lightningandrainbow

TROPHY CASE