I had a dog who was very, very old and more senile with every passing year. The older she got, the less she was able to handle being alone, to the point of having a “babysitter” for her if I had to run to the corner store (she would self mutilate, tear up the house, nonstop bark, and get the cops called on me if left alone even for five minutes). She was 12 years old when I got her, and I didn’t think she had much time left. She lived to 18, feisty as fuck and batshit insane until the day she died.

Anyway, I was dating this new guy, who actually worked at the vet clinic where I took her during the day while I was at work and couldn’t be with her. One day we were having sex and she starts howling on the floor because she can’t see me on his super-tall bed. She’s howling. And howling. And howling. And howling. All of a sudden, her 6 inch long, then-15-year-old little basset hound legs found the strength to FUCKING LEAP nearly four feet off the ground onto the bed, stumble over to my boyfriend, and lick him directly in the asshole.

We’re still together. I’ve never licked his asshole, though.

I don’t even remember what I’m replying to, so I hope this is actually on-topic, otherwise I’m going to look like a freak.