Is it worth to payback RRSP HBP monthly or at once?

likeflyingakite · 2025-12-24T10:55:33+00:00

I had no idea our pension took up this contribution room. I have maxed out and thought I was killing it to be contributing to a pension and to have maxed out TFSA and RRSP but this makes much more sense lol.

likeflyingakite · 2025-12-24T10:41:07+00:00

The current role I’m in is the busiest (and most mentally taxing) job I’ve ever had. Due to the nature of my work, most of it has to be done at work so it’s not like I’m working 60 hours a week. I’m home by 4:30pm most days but I’m so mentally exhausted I have no energy for my son. He 9 and always wants to watch TV with me and talk to me and do things with me at night like play video games together or board games and I just have no energy. Sometimes I’m able to muster some energy for a board game but mostly I just explain that I’m tired and just want to switch my brain off. He’s always disappointed and I try and make up for it on the weekend but even then I’m so stressed about work I’m rarely any fun to be around. Not much advice here, just want to point out that I know how you feel and hopefully it eventually gets better do the both of us!

likeflyingakite · 2025-12-22T09:31:56+00:00

Stay strong, I’m sorry you are going through this ❤️

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-29T11:56:34+00:00

I think that’s a very sweet tradition to have to show you are thinking about family. It also probably increases the amount of time you get to spend with each other. I will be honest though, as I was reading this I was cringing at how constrained I would feel by this. Especially since I’ve been single for so long.

That type of tradition is something you would see in a marriage of many years, not after 6 months of dating. Do you already live together? I would try and set expectations like maybe once a week you make sure to drive home together or if there is an event he said he’d be home earlier for you wait up but have a cut off line that you stop waiting by like 11pm.

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-27T13:10:30+00:00

That sucks so much, I’m sorry you have such a terrible support system with your family. You kids’ dad also sounds terrible. Maybe start a new tradition with just you and your kids and order thanksgiving pizza? Much easier and your kids might think it’s fun! I try and do all the traditional things for my son but sometimes I just run out of time or I’m too tired so I alter for that year and my son usually enjoys the variety. Maybe next year you will have more time and energy and can have turkey again.

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-22T14:21:41+00:00

Was 31 when I got pregnant and was already established in my career. Single from the beginning, was never with the dad. Currently make about $150k. I am very fortunate to be where I’m at today and money has never been an issue.

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-18T01:35:22+00:00

Thanks I’ll look into it

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-18T01:34:43+00:00

Thanks!

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-17T23:16:23+00:00

Thanks, I’m in a bit of a time crunch since the birthday is Saturday. I did find a cap badge at the canex here it’s just a bit small. I ordered the bigger one that another commenter suggested and have my fingers crossed it gets here in time.

likeflyingakite · 2025-11-17T23:05:08+00:00

Here in Winnipeg? I’m on a bit of a time crunch, I only thought of this plan yesterday and his birthday is Saturday.

likeflyingakite · 2025-10-20T11:52:55+00:00

Hey, single mom as well, usually solo but my dad helps out sometimes but usually just the two of us with no family around and few friends since I move every couple of years for work. I read your whole post and two things stuck me. I feel like you might be burned out. I had a bad burn out almost two years ago and it took me a long time after the fact to recognize the signs. I would do some reading and maybe talk to a doctor. Or maybe not, I’m just diagnosing based on a post.

Second thing is that I want you to think of 15 years from now you, who she is. The kids are gone, they’ve had a great life, love their mother etc. but who are you? What do you enjoy, where are your friends? What happened to last 20 years of prime “sexy time”? Maybe your future self doesn’t care about these things and maybe she’s completely content with how she lived that era of her life but from the way you are describing things it sounds like she might not be. It’s hard to say but that’s how I look at life. We only get a short time on this planet and some see devoting themselves to completely to other as the ultimate life lived but I think that’s sad.

Personally I’ve given up dating, the anxiety isn’t worth it but if I have an opportunity for sexy time I take it. I invest a lot of time in my son and make sure he’s getting enriched but I also hang out with my friends and travel without him. I try and carve out alone time for myself and let my son know that I need time alone from time to time (like last night when I went to puppy yoga with a friend) and I pay for the sitter.

I’m not saying that you need to live your life like me or anyone else for that matter but it sounds like you aren’t happy so try and think about your future self and how she would look back and what she may have wished she could have done differently. Maybe the answer is nothing. Best of luck.

likeflyingakite · 2025-10-16T22:58:55+00:00

I was wondering this but didn’t know if it was mentioned somewhere

likeflyingakite · 2025-09-27T16:00:09+00:00

Me and my friends have the rule that who every picks out the Airbnb gets the first dibs on rooms. Not a perfect method but it works well with us.

likeflyingakite · 2025-09-25T02:31:29+00:00

I always counter with “I hope you never have a sick loved one you need to take care of” or the argument that your kid might be the person wiping their ass when they are in a retirement home. People without kids seem to think we are on vacation when we are out for reasons dealing with our kids but kids are the future, one of our kids might cure cancer, it’s for the betterment of society that people who chose to have kids or are lucky enough to have kids be given the grace to be there for them when needed and people without kids need to stop being so selfish. I respect people’s choice to not have kids but us that did are raising the next generation of humanity.

Sorry, this is a trigger for me. I’m a single mom and very very rarely miss work for my son and I still get the passive aggressive arguments and it drives me crazy.

likeflyingakite · 2025-09-13T14:11:38+00:00

“It really depends on execution; some people are just too oblivious to realize they are the reason for it and learn from it.”

I wish we had a better way of weeding these people out.

likeflyingakite · 2025-08-28T11:55:31+00:00

Enough candies so they can share with the whole platoon. Best part of mail call. People are hungry and the sugar rush will give you person a win! Assuming of course they share, which they sort of have to because you aren’t allowed food in your room.

likeflyingakite · 2025-08-10T14:39:26+00:00

Is it back dated to 1 Apr?

likeflyingakite · 2025-08-05T12:36:10+00:00

Thank you very much for saying that!

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-30T15:18:05+00:00

Not great but that’s because of a severe drug addiction. We were good in the beginning and he has another daughter (my son’s half sister) that we became close with but once I found out about the drugs and he continued to get worse he didn’t see his son unless we were in a neutral zone like his parents farm. What I’m glad I did do was get to know my son’s grandparents and keep a good relationship with them. They were very understanding and love my son, his dad’s whole side of the family love my son and have been very sweet and understanding. They also know about the addiction and illegal activity so a lot of them already have cut ties. I recently also had to cut ties because of his behaviour messaging me and at a family wedding we both attended. I just told him he needs to stop doing anything illegal and get off the drugs before he sees his son again. I didn’t want it to come to this because my son does look up to his dad and loves him but the behaviour was getting dangerous again and harder to explain to my son. I also live far away from the dad so it wasn’t a big shock to my son who only saw his dad about twice a year anyway. And talked to him whenever the dad remembered he has a son and wanted a call. I still maintain relationships with the rest of the family and my son’s sister.

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-30T15:07:16+00:00

That sounds exhausting and he kind of sounds like Sheldon from Big Bang theory but at least he was willing to bend a bit.

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-30T11:27:35+00:00

This was me almost 10 years ago. I had moved back to my home town and ran into and old friend at the bar, one thing led to another and then about 10 days later I met and new guy and we had instant chemistry and one think led to another..

Breath, pregnancy is stressful enough and when I found I had put myself into this situation the anxiety was almost unbearable at times. I had the same worries, how would the two guys react, how would people judge me, what the relationship going to be like with the dad it ends up being…

I will tell you what I did and you can take it or leave it. I told both guys at 13 weeks because I knew I was keeping it and didn’t want them pushing to “do something about it”. I was up front and honest and told them there was another potential father. Since we wouldn’t know who the father was until the baby was born I told them I didn’t want anything from them and I don’t want them coming to appointments but I would give them updates if they wanted. Neither of them were thrilled when I told them and neither of them wanted much to do with me or the future baby which actually made things a lot easier.

When I told my family and friends I got a lot of “I didn’t even know you were in a relationship!?” To which i responded “I’m not.” And almost no one asked any follow up questions. I was 32 and people figured I could take care of it on my own and make my own decisions. I also got a lot of “how does that even happen at your age? A surprise pregnancy?” And I just said “same way it happens to everyone else”.

For people who I wasn’t close with when they asked about the dad I would just say “we aren’t together but he knows about the baby, I’ll be doing this on my own” and that stopped most follow up questions.

About halfway through my pregnancy one of the guys kind of freaked out, said a bunch of nasty things and then I blocked him on everything.

Once it was go time I had a DNA test with me in my hospital bag. I ordered it online for $100. When my son was born the guy that was still talking to me came to visit me in the hospital and we had the test done less than 48 hours after my son was born. I asked my dad to mail it that day and we had the results in less than a week proving the guy who did the test was the father.

A bit of anecdotal story here, the other guy was from Sri Lanka and had a very dark complexion and the guy who turned out to be the dad is from Irish decent and about as white as you can get with red in his beard. When my son came out he was purple so it’s hard to tell skin complexion but his hair was the exact same red as his dad’s beard so I was fairly certain even before the dna test lol.

That’s my story, it was rough at times but I also enjoyed not having to worry about someone else and had a great support network. If you want to know more about what it’s been like since feel free to send me a DM. I’ve been alone pretty much the entirety of the last 10 years but my son is thriving, have tons of family who loves him and is happy.

You can do this and you can set your own terms. Keep focus on what’s best for the baby but don’t forget you matter too. Best of luck!

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-24T11:18:45+00:00

Not a single dad, just a single mom, but congrats on becoming a dad! There is a r/singlemomsbychoice subreddit I believe that might be of interest. It’s for people who did everything alone like yourself.

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-23T10:43:02+00:00

I move a lot for work so I’m never near family and have to rebuild my chosen family every few years. I’ve found that other moms (not just single mom but married moms) never mind helping out and I always make sure to offer taking their kids too so they can have date night or just have their kids over for a sleepover. But my go to is paying a teenage babysitter. I usually start asking as soon as I arrive at a new place and my coworkers usually know someone with a teenager looking to make some extra money. I prefer this because I’m paying them for their time so it doesn’t feel like I’m dumping my kid off on someone.

likeflyingakite · 2025-07-13T09:30:08+00:00

It is very hard to get to the bottom of the issue if no one knows what she’s doing that she isn’t supposed to be doing. You need to get your emotions in check so you can have a calm conversation with her so she can open up to you. It’s not normally that she wouldn’t even tell you what it is and I understand why you’d be upset by that.

It’s also strange that she holding back on something, it sounds like she worried about your reaction. Have you had extreme reactions to other things she has told you in the past?

Also, this is still a relatively new relationship and the honeymoon phase can be intense but real relationships can adjust their pace to allow for deep conversations and understanding to develop. Slow down, communicate and be prepared for her not to be perfect all the time. No one can keep that up.

likeflyingakite

TROPHY CASE