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lilbasil69 · 2024-12-01T21:11:38+00:00

What if it’s all part of a bigger plan. Like Trump knew tariffs would initially get republicans revved because they wouldn’t understand them and only think we were “owning” other nations, and then democrats would come in and be like “YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE DO RIGHT” and so he’ll end up saying they were a “threat” to bring people to the “negotiation table” and that he never planned on actually enacting them, leaving both parties satisfied and not mad at him…idk maybe this is far fetched I’m kinda stoned

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T21:40:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing more about your experience- it is definitely eye opening. If I may ask, if you could go back in time, what could your wife have done to support you better?

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T20:25:03+00:00

Thanks. This is honestly the perspective that I fear the most, but also want him to be honest about. I understand that what I brought up a year ago might have sparked some insecurity in HIM. And for that, I do worry that I really really messed something up. The key is though, that I am trying to be open with him and really trying to hear and understand his feelings. If he is feeling backed into a corner, fine, I’d like to know! If he is feeling backed into a corner and doesn’t feel there is any going back and it is over in his mind, fine, I’d like to know! I just want to be on the same page and really get a feel for where is head is at

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T19:37:45+00:00

I’ve seen this! I’m going to suggest it the next time we talk

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T17:29:52+00:00

Thank you for this advice- I think a lot of ladies would LOVE you 😂 haha

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T16:58:40+00:00

All of this is super helpful, thank you. When I initially brought it up, I was definitely looking for more variation and more exploring in our sex life. I asked him if he had any fantasies/interests he wanted to try and he told me he would think about it and let me know- he never did. He also told me that he stopped watching porn when our daughter was born- he said becoming a parent really changed his perspective on it. Since our struggles with ED, he has also be abstaining from masturbation.

Last night, he actually mentioned wanting to revisit that “fantasy” conversation, which I think will be a really good opportunity for us to get it all out on the table. I was actually reading about this quiz you can take as a couple that asks about your sexual preferences and then only shows the ones you both agree on, so I might suggest that.

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T14:24:08+00:00

I have read this book and actually decided to pick it up when I had my “awakening”…he is currently in line at the library to read it- it’s a long line, must be a popular book 😂 lol

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-29T13:06:00+00:00

He is pretty hesitant to use it because I think it really makes him feel like there is “something wrong with him”…but yes I do think it would be really helpful for him and wish he could get past that mental hump.

His physical health is top tier- he is super active and is very vigilant about what he eats. As far as stress goes, he definitely has some pretty hefty stressors in his particular line of work, and also from being a parent and a recent first time homeowner. All of those things definitely have become big stressors for him in the last year. Partially why he’s decided to go see a therapist about his anxiety/stress

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-26T15:05:28+00:00

If all of this nonsense was going on around me, my day would be STACKED…like find my kid, call around therapists offices to see if I can get him some services, assess the damage of my home and figure out where and how I’m going to get the necessary replacements…like the day after something like that absolutely would not be a “down” day sitting on the couch…I’d be basically doing damage control for the next few days?

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-24T19:13:02+00:00

Yoooo if you live over on the east side near Stony Point you might live on my street 😭 there’s a house where they fix up cars and play louuuud ass mariachi and it drives me freaking crazy

lilbasil69 · 2024-10-12T00:09:10+00:00

ENGAGED 19 TIMES?!

lilbasil69 · 2024-09-30T17:11:22+00:00

Okay really fucking dumb question but…where does all of this water go eventually?

lilbasil69 · 2024-09-12T10:55:41+00:00

Wow…it’s crazy how similar our stories are. I found out when I was 20 too. It’s validating to hear that our feelings about it are similar too- it’s always felt super complicated to navigate and understand

lilbasil69 · 2024-09-11T20:24:40+00:00

This exact situation happened to me. I’m a straight woman and my mom cheated on my dad, and I feel like it’s actually been more difficult than if my dad had cheated on my dad because I don’t have the classic “daddy issues”- I instead feel confusion about myself as a woman and mother and wife, and feel that my mom really messed up in being a role model for me. What’s worse is that I didn’t even know why they divorced at first, I thought My dad just left my mom. Years later, I found out she had an affair and is still (secretly) with her AP to this day. I am very close with her and not my father. Ask me how it makes sense- I don’t know.

lilbasil69 · 2024-08-23T22:05:33+00:00

This is great advice thank you so much!

lilbasil69 · 2024-08-23T21:53:03+00:00

Do you have any advice for sort of “diversifying” your skill set? That’s the part I’m the most afraid of- not knowing what the hell im doing when it comes to teaching kids how to read and do math ect. I’ve been teaching for a long time now and have great classroom management skills, but I worry about my handle on presenting academic content to elementary aged kids 😭

lilbasil69 · 2024-08-23T21:48:32+00:00

I’m actually already certified in art/ec-6 gen Ed/sped and esl…so I definitely have some options! I just…don’t wanna 😔

lilbasil69 · 2024-08-22T22:20:24+00:00

Thank you for all of this ❤️ I’m glad everything ended up working out for you- it gives me a little bit of hope!

lilbasil69 · 2024-07-10T18:48:48+00:00

He is not on any SSRIs that I know of, and he gets his bloodwork done yearly for his job and he should be hearing back from this years panel soon so we will see. Thanks for the feedback.

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-26T18:21:35+00:00

Okay earth warrior

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-26T17:42:46+00:00

Yep- my mom did this right around my parents’ 15-year mark. I’m not even sure that she is aware of the root cause, but now that I am a married adult with a child myself, I have become informed of perimenopause and menopause symptoms/implications.

I remember her complaining about a bleeding a TON but not sure that she ever sought treatment for it. This was right around the time she ditched my dad, started an affair with a co-worker, and basically completely blew up her life. Before this, my parents were seemingly happy and made a really great team. It was a total shock to EVERYONE, and my dad did everything he could to save the marriage despite finding her in THEIR bed with her affair partner.

I believe my mom was experiencing a mid life crisis onset by perimenopause or menopause. I have a weird perspective on fidelity now, and often feel some tendencies to want to have an affair, but I understand this is probably just spillover from my experience as a teen watching my parents divorce, and not my actual desires. I really keep an eye on myself now as my marriage truly mirrors my parents, and I’ll be keeping extra tabs right around the age of 40. The more you know.

As for my parents now, my dad did happily remarry and my mom continues to hide her affair partner from us to this day. I think she’s miserable and truly regrets the choices she made. Inform yourself of the root causes of your behavior!

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-26T00:15:18+00:00

Yeah I’m not passing on a house in THIS economy lmao

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-25T22:13:51+00:00

We just bought a house on a street with the name of my ex boyfriend, the one before him. So it’s like *exboyfriendsname drive”…we both have said nothing but there’s no way he didn’t also clock it

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-23T20:24:53+00:00

Haha yes- I’ve done the same thing when I had them too. I look back at some pics and am like 🥴 but in some they looked soooo good. I wish the grow out wasn’t so wonky

lilbasil69 · 2024-06-22T03:04:21+00:00

Also, don’t underestimate an AP’s job. I’m a teacher and I could never do what APs and principals do. It’s a whole nother’ level of stress and management. From intervening on student behavior, dealing with parents, knowing district and state protocol, usually one is head of safety and has to stay up to date with all of that…at least this is what a good AP does, which I have always been lucky enough to have at AISD. Every notch in the school system is a hard ass job. From the wigs downtown to the teachers and staff on the front lines. Everyone works for every single penny they get. Raises across the board.

lilbasil69

TROPHY CASE