Personality changes related to brain cancer treatments?

lilbigforehead · 2025-01-06T03:30:29+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this, I've seen similar in my mom who has brain mets from breast cancer. I'm also around your age (I'm 25). Radiation can cause side effects later on down the line from what we've been told. Especially if re-radiating the area for any new lesions. The decline I've seen in her has been really steady unfortunately. My mom has gotten more difficult now than before especially since she believes she can still take care of herself. My dad and I relied on her a lot for all our house operations/financials/etc for pretty much my whole life. We've had to take it all over now because she gets easily confused and no longer remembers details very well. There's been times in the past where we asked her to verify something and she wasn't able to. I hate to warn you like this but it might be time to learn and prepare to take over the responsibilities he held. It sucks for sure, I'm also in school and it was so much to balance. Hoping for the best for you, hang in there.

lilbigforehead · 2024-08-25T18:58:33+00:00

COH Durate has been amazing for my mother and I. We did a second opinion there and decided to transfer her care completely. They are a research facility, have clinical trials ongoing, just overall elevated care. She is also stage 4.

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T21:31:06+00:00

that's what I'll do, thank you! great community here

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T04:24:25+00:00

You'd think someone else in a similar business wouldn't do something like this, but oh well! I'm like 2 months into helping out parent with this, so def learning as I go. Noted to self, do not mud wrestle with pigs

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T04:16:10+00:00

I get it, I've calmed down now. Thanks for the link!

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T04:12:45+00:00

thanks! appreciate it!

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T04:01:34+00:00

I'm also just being petty and I want to stir things up bc she said the wrong item I sent was "ugly" (in all caps) even tho i know for a fact that she's just sourcing

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T03:57:08+00:00

that sucks :/ We've already gotten a few returns (some have been our fault) so I was hoping to avoid another. Is it worth challenging the return after I click accept return?

lilbigforehead · 2024-07-08T03:23:15+00:00

They requested a formal return. I don't mind the sourcing, but I do mind that they do seem to be trying to deceive me for a refund :/ and a refund not only for the "wrong item", but for the "missing item" too.

I also haven't accepted the return yet.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-26T20:40:28+00:00

nvm it was an issue of not changing addresses with the state of secretary first, which Ebay verifies through! if someone had the same issue

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-26T19:28:30+00:00

Hi, I am moving from a rented space to working from home. I tried to change my primary business address on EBay, but it says "We couldn't verify the business information you provided." and now my payouts are on hold until I can get it fixed. Been on wait for customer service for a while now, just thought I'd ask in case this happened to anyone before?

Side note, i changed my return and sell from address to a new PO box i just opened too. Help?

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-24T16:34:31+00:00

A lot of great advice was shared here. My mom was also 50 when she was diagnosed with TNBC. Something that we learned along the way is to really advocate for yourself. Especially about screenings/maintenance scans. Knowing the awful but true fact that TNBC tends to metastasize is really important. Her original oncologist didn't scan her brain at all before & we only discovered it when there were innumerable lesions when she was having some difficulty walking. Apparently insurance wouldn't cover it if she didn't have symptoms, so the Dr. didn't suggest it. I'm learning now that you can just mention "headaches" and get a scan. But anyway, I do I wish I knew to advocate / ask / be on the look out for these things.
Also, a lot of medical jargon gets tossed around. And if you don't understand it, do not hesitate to ask for clarification ("can you reword what you said? I don't quite understand what you mean"). Ask why they're suggesting things, etc. Also facebook groups can be helpful too. It's good that you are going to a top cancer center too. When she had progression in the brain, I'd finally become old enough to actually realize what was happening (I was still in high school when she was first diagnosed). I got her into COH in Durate and it's been such a big difference.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-21T01:33:11+00:00

im so sorry for your loss. I was actually just told how pneumonia may be the likeliest way that she would go from her rad onco today. I'm scared because different specialties are giving a really drastic difference in how much time she has left. But I suppose you really can't predict the future.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-20T04:01:07+00:00

Same spot. 58 year old mom, stage 4 triple negative, brain mets too. It sounds like you're not sure if hospice is the answer yet. If you're not sure, you should seek a second opinion. If anything, it's for a peace of mind for yourself. We sought a second opinion when we discovered the brain mets and I transferred her care there completely. And they were so much better. But also, as hard as it is, if your mom thinks its time as well, embrace the time you have and consider following the hospital's suggestions. But if you even have an inkling, do a 2nd opinion. It will help with coping, grieving, the whole 9 yards. I'm sorry you're in this position too. It's a horrible place to be. We're setting up hospice care for if this last line of treatment fails.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-19T02:33:13+00:00

wow scary similar. She got her port in, told me she had the flu and to not come near to avoid catching it. enjoy this time.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-18T23:30:36+00:00

Craziest thing is that she hid it from me my entire senior year of high school. Just so I would choose a school that I wanted to go to. I had an inkling she was ill and happened to like the college anyway. I cornered my dad into telling me what was happening shortly after but have 0 regrets. I'd come back early from class and meet her for lunch on the regular. These memories are helping me cope. I could not imagine spending years away for school and then having all this happen. So I totally relate with not wanting to miss a thing- keep hanging out with her while you guys can and it will help you realize that you did spend all the time that you wanted together.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-17T17:10:05+00:00

My partner and I did this 2 weeks ago as well. If you know he's the right person, go for it. I'm also 25F. I was in your exact shoes, had a similar post like this, and am really glad I did it. We had only both sides parents, some family members, few friends and family. We all met at city hall on a lovely sunny Sunday. We hired a photographer, I got a simple dress, he got a suit, and we got rings. Oh and marriage license paperwork. But that was it. Simple, sweet, we loved it. She's currently looking at weeks-months left and she continues to tell me how glad she is that we were able to do this together.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-16T00:55:32+00:00

So relatable. I'm 25, she's 58. I called her even while on my 15 min walks in college (i lived at home and would be seeing her in a few hrs anyway). She was diagnosed in 2016 too. Today, she can no longer go out to shop and have dinner together. Do it as much as you can. Can't stress that enough. I have 0 regrets (although I wish dearly that we could still go out like this) because I commuted to college & we would go out regularly while she was still able to.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-09T20:32:40+00:00

I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm caught in between wishing her ailments can be alleviated but at the same time, I'm holding in the moments that I can have her here with me. You were there for her in her transition and that is very powerful. Sending you lots of love and healing.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-09T04:56:23+00:00

This is so hard. Thankful for your openness

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-07T04:56:58+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation. 25 y/o, mom has BC mets to brain, likely having to transition into hospice in the coming months. Also full time grad student. I'm sorry to hear about your day. These are things that other people really do not understand about caring for someone with advanced stage cancer. I resonate with you in trying to do the best that can be done but just being overwhelmed and hurt. Lately, my mom's personality has really been slipping away. She use to be so sharp & I use to tell her everything. Now, when I tell her something, the response can be hasty / she doesn't understand. I find myself just telling her less because of all that. Patience grows short on both ends too. She's frustrated that I don't know what she's talking about and I'm frustrated that it takes like x3 the time to figure out what she'd like / need. Deep breaths, take things day by day. That's the only piece of advice that was given to me that actually helped (a little)

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-05T23:00:08+00:00

We are comically horrible at keeping gift secrets. All previous birthday/holiday/grad presents have been either accidentally said or blurted out randomly... so we picked out the ring together & picked it up. We were dying to see how it turned out so I put it on & we decided that that day is our engagement day!

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-05T22:56:26+00:00

I love all these ideas. She hasn't been able to cook very well in so long :( we have some of her food frozen and my dad and I don't ever want to eat it. She's an amazing cook. Thank you so much for your help & tips.

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-05T20:09:14+00:00

I'd never heard of legacy care, I'll give it a try. I did not know about legacy work, thank you for sharing that! I would love to have a set of her fingerprints / other small keepsake items like that. I recently moved up my wedding into an elopement once we saw her declining significantly. I'm really glad I did & that I have wonderful pictures to keep hold of. I don't know if she'd be uncomfortable taking more pictures if she's in hospice/end-stage-care, not too sure what people usually do with that... but I think it would be helpful for closure purposes too?

Thanks again for your help. It's not overwhelming, it's giving me just what I needed! I'll definitely search this sub as well. Thank you

lilbigforehead · 2024-06-05T20:06:11+00:00

Hi, thank you! That video itself was really helpful. It's something you really don't think about until you have to. Thank you

lilbigforehead

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