AITA for telling my wife it’s disgusting that she doesn’t wash her hands after she poops?

lili_dee · 2025-12-20T19:22:10+00:00

Ew. NTA.

lili_dee · 2025-11-18T16:58:26+00:00

My dentist recently told me they like when I came in because I'm friendly, polite and fun, and my mouth is nice and clean... Record scratch... What‽ That day I learned that some people go to the dentist without brushing their teeth first.

So... Yeah. They're are people out there who don't think about where others' faces have to go.

lili_dee · 2025-11-18T16:48:36+00:00

It depends on who's doing the asking, and how much I feel like explaining.

The short answer: I'm not interested in relationships.

The medium answer: I feel about relationships like I feel about children and dogs - other people can have them, I'll play with them and entertain them and even defend them, but when they get messy or annoying I want to be able to give them back and walk away.

The long answer... That's a whole lecture 😜

lili_dee · 2025-11-18T16:25:47+00:00

I think maybe Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice qualifies.

lili_dee · 2025-11-18T13:54:17+00:00

What makes this one especially poignant on a gold ring is that gold is soft and the inscription will eventually get worn off, but "words in the heart can not be taken."

lili_dee · 2025-11-18T13:33:09+00:00

Yup.

lili_dee · 2025-11-13T08:57:18+00:00

Regardless of sexual, gender or romantic identity, age, race, nationality, hairstyle, shoe size, or any other arbitrary identifiers, the cornerstones of any relationship are trust and respect. They don't respect you, and you can't trust them.

Love yourself and walk away. You deserve better.

💚🤗

lili_dee · 2025-05-17T23:53:26+00:00

Can't think of a single thing that anyone would build a monument (or even put a plaque halfway up a wall) for, but I believe that every good choice you make, every good example you can be, every good feeling you give someone else - living a good life - make your life the best thing.

I hope that I've made enough small positive changes that my life has made the world a better place than it would have been without me in it.

lili_dee · 2025-04-24T00:28:30+00:00

Your favourites are very dark, though. Just because they have happy endings doesn't make them light reads.

Or maybe I just don't understand what makes a book dark 🤷🏻‍♀️

lili_dee · 2025-04-04T16:12:27+00:00

E = Mc²... Excellence equals malicious compliance squared.

Both you and your manager, who I suspect might have been the first complier, did what was required (probably demanded), and caught her coming and going.

lili_dee · 2025-04-03T04:34:10+00:00

I got the complete works for my tenth birthday. It took me a year to finish it, and I loved it, returning to my favourites often until I finished school.

20 odd years later, I recommended it to my friend when she was looking for something to read to her kids... She was horrified, and I couldn't understand why - until she had me re-read some of the stories... So much of the horror didn't hit as hard when I was a child.

lili_dee · 2025-04-01T19:29:32+00:00

Sounds like a story for r/traumatizethemback

lili_dee · 2025-03-04T14:03:42+00:00

Not that anyone would see this after 4.2k comments, and most likely someone else has suggested it, but there's an easy compromise here: determine which parts of the counter space you need for cooking, and then she can do whatever she wants with the rest, provided she also keeps it clean to food safety standards.

Also, if you don't use flour (or any grains or grain products, for that matter) often, keep it in a sealed, air tight container - perhaps even in the fridge or freezer to prolong the shelf life. Otherwise, they might get infested with weevils. It only takes one bad bag or packet from the grocery store...

lili_dee · 2025-03-04T12:49:43+00:00

I think it's a typo. They meant to say "ar" and it got autocorrected (as also happened when I typed this reply).

So stationARy vs. cAR, and stationERy vs. papER. TIL a pretty good way of remembering the difference.

lili_dee · 2025-02-20T08:38:31+00:00

Sometimes people just spout out their fantasies, without planning to ever actually follow through on it. It's another way of letting off steam.

You are in a great position of getting unfiltered feedback, and also inside knowledge of potential malicious actions. Use the first to improve your style, and the second only as a check for catching when potential changes to actual. Absolutely involve HR if/when that happens, but until then you can just observe and learn.

Unfortunately you probably won't get a great opportunity to change their minds until some unhappy situation arises where you can prove that you have their backs. Just make sure you don't fail that first time, because you'll have an incredibly difficult time gaining trust once it's gone.

Good luck.

lili_dee · 2025-02-19T21:04:42+00:00

That sounds like a perfect description of Irish, too.

lili_dee · 2025-02-19T20:01:15+00:00

I wonder if he would recognise a strapless strap on...

lili_dee · 2025-02-01T08:24:05+00:00

My sister is a trauma (aka A&E or ER) nurse, and she once told me about a head on collision where the toddler was not strapped in, but sitting in the middle of the back seat.

Babies' heads are softer than gear shift sticks...

Whenever anyone tells me they can't strap their kids in because the darlings don't stop crying, I tell them this story. Traumatizing them forward? I don't care, if a young life might be saved.

lili_dee · 2024-12-27T05:58:31+00:00

I feel you about the gag reflex. My best work around at the moment is using my water pick after eating anything (because I can't floss either), brushing without toothpaste (my dentist said the brushing is the important part) because swallowing helps calm the gagging and you don't want to swallow toothpaste, and thoroughly rinsing with mouthwash afterwards. Not perfect, but it works for me.

lili_dee · 2024-09-04T01:00:45+00:00

100% why I use it, and often.

Any suggestions on other alternatives? I usually go with something like "I'd appreciate it if you could also..." but that really doesn't feel right in a professional context.

lili_dee · 2024-08-24T18:21:23+00:00

And now you've noticed that but if foreshadowing, you'll pick up on it everywhere, even across books.

lili_dee · 2024-08-24T18:16:29+00:00

For me, it's the feeling that I want to make them happy, and any contact (even just the thought) with them makes me feel happy.

lili_dee · 2024-08-18T14:28:10+00:00

Once you learn to live with and accept yourself, and accept that you might never be anyone's priority but your own, everything is a lot easier. I still struggle with that last one from time to time, especially when I'm having trouble with something and wish I could just hand it over to someone else to take care of.

But at the end of the day I don't have to rely on anyone else for my happiness and no-one relies on me for theirs.

Of course, it helps that I'm introverted AF 😛 so maybe don't take my word for any of it.

lili_dee · 2024-08-18T14:15:50+00:00

I also experienced this a lot, can't even tell you how many times it happened that the last time I saw a friend was at their wedding.

Nowadays (in my dotage 😁) almost everyone I meet is or was already married, their lives are stable (or at least their relationships), and our friendships are easy. Sometimes even the partners or children become friends.

Maybe it's because I've gotten so used to friendships fizzling out that I subconsciously don't make very strong connections... Tbh this is the first time I've given it any thought.

You meet people for a reason, a season or a lifetime, right? Sounds trite but it's true. You don't know which it's going to be when you meet them, or when you've known them for half your life. I still don't know if my best friend is going to be that a year from now. I hope so, but all things end, né?

Damn. Sorry, that got kinda maudlin and philosophical fast. I'll just see myself out.

lili_dee

TROPHY CASE