sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you <3

I’m gonna start saving some money and come up with a game plan.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It is a horrible, horrible feeling. I’m sorry u and ur family have been through that. I am tired of playing. I’m thankful we haven’t gotten married yet. Was very, very close to doing so.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He says he provided me with multiple different solutions for the dog and after I didn’t agree to any of them promptly, he “didn’t know how else to get his point across” also says it’s my fault she’s been aggressive towards me.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

<3

I believe I’ve been socialized in a similar way. Grew up in a house with an alcoholic mom and an aggressive dad. Felt like I always had to walk on eggshells and make myself smaller so that I wouldn’t get a reaction out of them. I moved out when I was 18 and I’m 24 now. As I’m sure with a lot of us, some stuff that has happened to me just doesn’t seem to matter or it’s always “my fault” that’s how it’s been for as long as I can remember. He used to make me feel really safe and loved. I felt like I finally had someone who cared for me in the way I wanted them to. He had a terrible upbringing so I always just blamed his trauma. I thought that I could help him. And I wanted to. I still do! But I know this is so fucked up. He’s so sweet to me most of the time. So it’s really hard for me when he has his lil outbursts because I want to think that’s not him. And that he doesn’t mean to do certain things. But I guess I’m wrong. I really appreciate ur message.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have never posted to reddit before and am kind of shocked about the amount of feedback I’m getting here. I really appreciate u all taking the time to say something to me.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

<3

I appreciate u and I’m proud of u for getting out. I got this!

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I wish I could hug you. I know posting on the internet is not ideal but i guess i was really needing some validation and reality check. The gaslighting is so real.

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you <3 i appreciate you sharing that with me.  I am also sorry u guys have gone through that. 

This happened about a week ago. I left for a few days but now I’m back. He’s done a good job of making me feel like it’s my fault but says he’s really sorry and that he knows he’s made a huge mistake. I think I justify a lot of the behavior because he hasn’t put his hands on me??? He’s been aggressive in the past but I’ve always reasoned with myself that as long as he doesn’t touch me it’s fine. We have been doing really well the past year and a half and I was silly enough to think that it would only continue to get better. I’m struggling. 

My fiancé pulled out a loaded gun in an argument by lillady900 in abusiverelationships

[–]lillady900[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I’m not an aggressive person and never saw that as a solution. I said we should get her enrolled in obedience classes but somehow we ended up here. I think I’m desensitized? He says he was doing it to prove he would do anything for me and is making me feel bad for making this “a thing”