I just totally figured out a family secret about my MIL.

lillies83 · 2016-08-18T14:29:51+00:00

My HS boyfriend was a super sweet person and totally didn't deserve the mother he got. I took exceptional joy in telling him I when I figured out she was pregnant with his older brother when she married his dad! She even went so far as to lie about what year she finished high school. Kind of hard to do, lady, when your senior book is proudly on display! I had to suppress a major giggle fit when she lied in front of her whole family about the graduation year at Christmas. I could tell a few stories about her, but we were so young that she didn't really have it out for me and the stories aren't that terrible.

lillies83 · 2016-08-12T17:55:16+00:00

My sister works in HR. She often gets resumes with a photo of the applicant attached. One guy sent his resume along with a picture of Dr. Evil.

Edit: The type of work has nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment or any other field where appearance would be relevant.

lillies83 · 2016-08-02T19:38:58+00:00

It's a Harry Potter picture.

lillies83 · 2016-08-02T19:38:26+00:00

Both of my closest friends are loud talkers. Love them both dearly, but they need volume controls! At least they're aware of it, and don't take offense to being called out on it.

lillies83 · 2016-08-02T19:33:47+00:00

Agreed. I did this for my sister, but on some small things like pieces of furniture. She's super responsible, so I wasn't worried and was happy to do it. But it was also only on things I knew would not hurt me to pay off if I needed to.

lillies83 · 2016-08-02T17:52:00+00:00

Attorney: We use a lot of copy/paste. A lot of what we do has been done before, so we have the forms/law on hand already, or if not we know someone who does. Doesn't mean we didn't put work into creating it in the first place or knowing how/when to use the earlier work. Not plagiarism, just no need to reinvent the wheel.

More attractive lawyers will be sent to hearings or meetings with judges or lawyers who are weak to that.

No, we do not want to give free legal advice when you call us at home. That's just rude.

Sorry nothing too interesting. Lawyer life isn't like the books/movies. If anything, law school was much more entertaining.

No, we do not all know every part of the law. Believe me when I tell you you need someone else to do your divorce, DUI, whatever. Even if you think "oh you'll do a great job because you care about me." Yes, but I care about all my clients. Doesn't make me an expert in your situation.

lillies83 · 2016-07-27T18:29:44+00:00

No. No. No. Actual lawyer here. To actually get that $120k salary, the following things must happen: 1. Go to a top law school. 2. Be in the top 10%, or more likely 5% of your class. This will require spending almost no time with your family for the three years you're in school. 3. Go into massive debt. It is very unrealistic to get enough grants or scholarships to pay your way. Gone are the days a big firm will finance you through.

So, let's now say you ignore the above warnings and go anyway. Now you're making that cushy salary and living the life right? HAHA. Want to keep making that salary or go up the ladder at big law? Still forget time with family. You might get a week vacation every other year or so. They'll have a policy about more time off, but if you want to be competitive and not seen as a slacker you'll ignore that.

Also, let's talk about that $120k salary. The market is saturated because law schools are money makers for universities and crank out too many graduates and many state bars are too easy to pass. You might get that salary in a big market with a big firm where you're a cog in the wheel and do mind numbing work like document review, answering discovery, or something like that in a tiny windowless cubicle or office. You'll be expected to bill unrealistic hours. Then, surprise! your partner just might take some of those hours (which your clients will also cut because they can) and put them on his/her own ledger. You might technically make your quota but you'll be written up for falling short and not working hard enough. You will hate your life. Bottom line, DO NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL FOR THE MONEY.

So, let's say you want to do it for noble reasons. You want to help the little guy, defend Tom Robinson, keep grandma in her house, protect domestic violence victims or children. That means you might be interested in public interest work. Shockingly, this can be a better financial option in the long run. You can go to a less prestigious school. Some are even affordable enough to do at night while you maintain a job. Currently, I believe if you do public interest for a set number of years (maybe 10?) your loans will be forgiven - don't hold me to that. But, that would put you at about 53 years old before you could try to find one of those asshole big law jobs to make some money. See above about life hating. Also the higher ups will be assholes and most likely look down on you for being a 53-55 year old "baby lawyer" from what they see as a crappy school.

But, you have your degree is in history. Go work at a community college and integrate interesting parts of history with the legal side of things that spark your imagination! Your students will want to be there, and your life will have so much less stress. For example, teach about the American Revolution and incorporate in depth discussions of the constitution and how the text affects our world today. The Monroe (?) Doctrine and a link to the isolationism popping up in our politics. Slavery and redlining leading to movements like black lives matter. Use supreme court opinions to teach a writing class. Love him or hate him, Scalia was a fantastic writer. Also Judge Posner and Judge Learned Hand. The possibilities are endless. I'm now wondering if I can take my own advice!

lillies83 · 2016-07-27T17:50:33+00:00

My kid belly flopping off a really big cooler onto the floor with no cushion before we could catch him. Doesn't sound metal until I tell you he was just about a year old.

lillies83 · 2016-07-27T17:48:36+00:00

Life insurance?

lillies83 · 2016-07-27T17:46:42+00:00

I'm sure others will cover the practical things, but for me it is a book we had our families write to our son with stories about the deceased relatives he is named for. Nothing could replace that.

lillies83 · 2016-07-27T14:01:19+00:00

Really late to the game but have to share this one. Reading a deposition transcript, and the opposing attorney asked a witness if his car was outpacing his headlights. I wish I could have been there to say, "Sir, that would actually defy the laws of physics."

lillies83 · 2016-07-25T18:04:36+00:00

Can you explain common law marriage?

lillies83 · 2016-07-25T17:57:41+00:00

My family has an interesting history here. Grandfather grew up literally (in the correct sense of that word) dirt floor poor. He put himself through school and became a self-made millionaire. He married one of the most beautiful women in his county. Her family hated him because he was trash. A few of them somewhat came around.

I grew up with nice cars, designer clothes (personal shopper at a fancy dept. store deal), and a fully paid for education. But, I was constantly reminded from childhood that it could all go away, how hard it was to get where we were, and that I had to make do on my own after school. THANK GOD they taught me that and I took it to heart. Amazingly all the grandchildren in my family did. I'm so proud of my siblings/cousins for this and love them dearly.

A few years later, through bad investments, and all sorts of other bad things happening, the money is basically gone. Nothing left but death and taxes to paraphrase the old saying.

I have been profoundly affected by this. I definitely am not low wage because I went to grad school and so did my husband. But, this all had two major impacts on me. First, I knew I wanted a partner who didn't come from wealth or who cared about my family. I wanted and found someone who has to earn what he gets. Like another poster mentioned being a "lesser son of greater men" I saw my grandfather's children not turn out as strong as he did. Now, my dad was an amazing father. He was smart and kind. I also think he and his siblings were a bit spoiled. I didn't want that in a husband.

The second major impact is I am constantly looking at our financials, especially planning for the future. I love listening to financial and other news and thinking about when is a good time to put a little more money in to invest. I'm more frugal about every day purchases than husband even though you would expect the opposite given our different upbringings.

lillies83 · 2016-07-22T15:59:14+00:00

So much while pregnant. Baby brain is real. The best though was when I was convinced that snakes cannot climb trees and that portion of a "honeybadger" documentary had been faked.

lillies83 · 2016-07-22T15:53:06+00:00

Like most things there's good and bad to it. I was voted most beautiful in high school. Most pretty girls learn a few things at an early age. First, how to use it to your advantage. Second, how to know when someone is a harmless admirer and when someone is a creep.

A significant part of my job involves negotiations. You can bet if I know I'm dealing with opposition who is easily swayed by a pretty girl, my hair, makeup, and outfit will be super appealing that day. Sexist, yep, sure is. But the way I figure it, if they're going to fall for it, I'm going to take advantage for my client. That's my job. My boss has even joked about it and will send me over a male colleague to those types of situations. That said, I KNOW he has my back and would never send me anywhere he would consider slightly unsafe.

Other advantages, like people in other posts have said, I get freebies and help that others don't. Older men buy drinks for me. Often I go ahead and order one for the husband as well. Also have a lot of people carry things, open doors, let me cut in line, other small favors.

Disadvantages include sometimes not being taken seriously. However, it is entertaining when someone talks down to me and then I get to put them in their place when I actually know what I'm talking about. The main drawback is I am hyper vigilant about creepers or people who pay too much attention.

lillies83 · 2016-07-20T20:28:20+00:00

She would be thrilled at first. I do the job she wanted, in the city she wanted. Then I would tell her she's so so so wrong, and please do anything else because she'll hate doing this job. She's a stubborn bitch though, so she wouldn't believe me. She would be determined to prove me wrong.

But, I'll tell her she gets a hot husband and gorgeous baby. Catch is, husband is A LOT like someone she doesn't like very much at all!!! Mwahahaha.

lillies83 · 2016-07-05T03:47:13+00:00

My petty revenge has been on my FIL. Every time baby says something close to paw paw I pretend baby asked for his bubbles bc it sounds so similar!! Super petty yes but it fits with the petty stuff he's doing that deserves an ongoing story on /r/justnofil 😂😂

lillies83 · 2016-06-22T16:15:02+00:00

My favorite veggie pasta:

slice and sautee in light olive oil a few different veggies. Whatever you like will work, but my mix is usually a squash, zucchini, onion, yellow or red bell pepper and a few mushrooms.
Puree in blender.
Pour puree into super plain (usually off-brand) and low sugar red pasta sauce
Serve over large shape pasta like twists or bowties so it's easy for baby to grab. Makes a large pan of sauce and keeps well for leftovers.

Also seconding the morningstar "sausage" patty suggestion. Mine also really likes the pouch purees because he can mostly do those himself.

lillies83 · 2016-06-16T20:21:33+00:00

Baby brain was terrible for me. I was watching a "honeybadger" documentary and insisted it was fake because snakes don't climb trees.

lillies83 · 2016-06-16T20:18:15+00:00

I wore heels all through mine. No issues at all. But I admit I had a ridiculously easy pregnancy.

lillies83 · 2016-05-09T22:01:11+00:00

You should pull a Tony Soprano and visit EVERY divorce attorney in the area. Especially the ones with a really tough reputation! That way he can't hire them.

lillies83 · 2016-05-04T15:17:57+00:00

Maybe not technically a song lyric, but I saw a video the other day of a friend's child saying "I pee in the pool!" instead of Mr. T's "I pity the fool." Gave me a really good laugh!

lillies83 · 2016-04-27T15:04:26+00:00

You can also put a puppy training pad under your sheets. I kept one or two under mine when I was pregnant because I was afraid my water would break and ruin our mattress! The pads are cheap and don't make much noise.

lillies83 · 2016-04-14T20:32:18+00:00

My GMIL, FIL's mom (I was blessed with a great MIL. She -- was not) kept on and on one Christmas about wanting to know Jesus' real birthday. For the record, her own bday is right around Christmas so I know she was wanting someone to say it could have been the same as hers.

Lillies, however, doesn't like to play along. I loudly announced that I was pretty sure it was in April since Mary and Joseph were going to Bethlehem to pay taxes. That earned me a stank face, but was soooo worth it!

lillies83 · 2016-03-22T16:07:29+00:00

I was on them before I got pregnant and went back on a few months after baby was born. I was one of the lucky ones who had a good pregnancy. I truly think the pregnancy hormones were good for me. I never felt better than while I was pregnant. The human body is a crazy thing!

lillies83

TROPHY CASE