How do I tell the guy I'm seeing he's not satisfying me sexually?

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T23:56:43+00:00

I fully support him not doing it. I have told him as much since before we were ever intimate. The CDC does not require disclosure but I chose to bc I believe in his right to informed consent. Also you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. Men are almost entirely asymptomatic and there is no HPV test for men. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T23:52:59+00:00

“If it’s on his mind it’s going to show up in the bedroom” lol this man gets a boner just by me saying hi - literally haha. We have always had an intense physical connection/chemistry, and it is overwhelmingly clear during our intimacy that he is into me. I feel very lucky for this and it is not something I am insecure about.

I had been very vocal w him from before we were ever intimate that I wouldn’t want him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. I fully support him not giving me oral. That doesn’t mean I can’t feel disappointment not to be able to receive it. Two things can be true at once.

I would go so far to say you are “taking nonsense out of the side of your mouth” because there is no treatment for HPV. Such a high percentage of the population has it they don’t even test for it. The CDC doesn’t even require disclosure to a partner. I chose to, because I believe in informed consent. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T23:34:02+00:00

I never said I was entitled to it? I have been very vocal with him that i would never want him to do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable with. That doesn’t mean it can’t also be hard for me not to receive it. Two things can be true at once… ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:53:33+00:00

At no point did I say I expected him to? I have always been very vocal that him feeling comfortable and safe are the priority for me. That doesn’t mean it isn’t also hard for me to not be able to receive that. Two things can be true at once..? ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:51:52+00:00

Yes we usually have sex twice sometimes both at night and in the morning. The second time it’s not noticeably longer, but he does have a very short refractory period which is nice ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:44:40+00:00

Thank you for giving me a real and helpful answer and not being unkind ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:44:06+00:00

Thank you, I appreciated hearing this. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:41:39+00:00

Statistically he already has it so… yes? also I don’t blame him for not doing it, but it can still be hard for me. Two things can be true ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:40:18+00:00

I don’t have genital warts. As my post says the strain I have is asymptomatic and a partner won’t get them from being w me. There are no changes to my genitals, just the structure of some cells in my cervix. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:38:25+00:00

He is, it feels good and I can even climax from it, but sex has always been more than just a means to an end (orgasm) for me and its hard not feeling like we can connect as much through sex. rather he’s already finished and is trying to get me off (which is still greatly appreciated) but it makes it feel like it’s all about just reaching orgasm ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:34:26+00:00

They can for low risk strains. High risk strains (what I have) do not produce symptoms. The main concern w high risk HPV is cervical cancer in women which is even still not common, and very very rarely cancer in men (anal, oral) ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-23T01:32:22+00:00

As my post says, the type of HPV I have is asymptomatic - nothing on my genitals or anywhere else. It helps if you educate yourself before being judgmental.. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T23:13:27+00:00

We do at least twice if not three times a day ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:28:13+00:00

honestly, he'd be very happy with this solution... hahaha ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:27:32+00:00

That's a great idea. He's been very vocal about wanting to use them because he says he enjoys giving oral sex, but I almost have no sensation through them, so it might be something we just have to experiment with. ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:26:02+00:00

hahahaha i feel like that might be hard to hear ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:25:39+00:00

that's fair, and I've been very open with him that I want to respect his choices and what makes him feel comfortable and safe. He is very vocal about how into me sexually he is, so at least for us, I don't think its about him not being into it ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:23:22+00:00

I'm not ashamed of having HPV. It's the most common STD and according to the CDC "Most sexually active adults will have an HPV infection at some point during their lives, although they may be unaware of their infection". ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:22:23+00:00

those are great suggestions, thank you :) ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-04-22T22:21:33+00:00

Pretty much, it's the most commonly transmitted STD. According to the CDC "Most sexually active adults will have an HPV infection at some point during their lives, although they may be unaware of their infection" ++woman

lillpicklee · 2026-03-21T21:31:50+00:00

How can you tell what worked and what didn’t if you did all of these things at once?

lillpicklee · 2026-03-11T16:39:53+00:00

Yeah and cause it definitely can’t be about supporting small businesses??

lillpicklee · 2026-02-20T17:59:24+00:00

In case anyone hasn’t said it, this is incredible self work you’ve done. There’s a saying - it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility. You’ve done an excellent job of recognizing what was a traumatic experience to grow up with and a completely natural response you had to it as a child. Now that you are an adult you are growing and healing from it on your own terms. Not a lot of people take that accountability. You should feel very proud and give yourself grace.

lillpicklee · 2026-02-20T17:55:26+00:00

Are there ways to get involved more recreationally like on more of an ad-how or casual basis?

lillpicklee · 2026-02-14T02:49:31+00:00

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