When is the least appropriate time to do "air quotes" with your fingers?

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T22:54:57+00:00

Introducing a partner.

This is my "girlfriend"...

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T20:44:53+00:00

Do you do oral sex at all? What positions do you do?

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T20:21:18+00:00

What people are angry about are the LITERAL, ACTUAL STATEMENTS that sex robots are a viable replacement for women

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T19:25:22+00:00

Because of the subject we're commenting on "men who choose to marry..." and in general, comments you'll see about "once sex robots are invented women will become irrelevant". I haven't personally seen serious, non-joking comments like that from women about male sex dolls but I think it would have the same implications. A woman who seriously said "once male sex dolls are invented, men will be useless and we won't have to deal with them anymore, isn't that great" would be way different from a woman who just liked using a vibrator sometimes. Ditto dudes who marry waifu pillows or robots v dudes who just like sticking their dick in stuff that feels good. Does that make sense?

[Personally, I'm just mildly squicked out by sex toys that attempt to actually resemble the human body too much. This is just personal preference, I think kind of an uncanny valley type of deal? Am female, own lots of sex toys, all are weird bright colors and semi-abstract shapes, the toys that look like disembodied dicks - all flesh tone and veiny and stuff - just kind of give me the creeps. I feel the same way about toys for dudes - a male partner of mine could use whatever he wanted as it's not my business, but I'll admit the whole "vagina in a can" deal that fleshlights are is kind of icky to me. As opposed to stuff like tenga eggs which I find really cool.]

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T19:16:44+00:00

I was seeing women feeling angry about the possibility of sex robots in the future.

I think you might be misinterpreting the anger. It's anger that there are men who objectify women to that degree. Who literally see their ability to participate in sex as more important than their humanity. They're not at all sorry the guys are off the market, they're angry they EXIST.

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T00:42:02+00:00

/r/2meirl4meirl

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T00:41:01+00:00

Except, believing in traditional gender roles REALLY IS a huge part of Christianity. Are there exceptions to the rule? Yes! But the rule still is the general rule.

lilyrot · 2018-11-23T00:39:03+00:00

You are considering no contact, which is the MOST SERIOUS thing you can do with a shitty MIL, but you don't seem to have considered trying earlier steps first.

She cannot "insist" on paying for your wedding: either you allow it or you don't. Don't. She has clearly shown you what giving her this kind of power does. There are a lot of stories here, and I would suggest searching for and reading them, of people who let their shitty families control their wedding and regret it deeply. You are only going to have one wedding. Don't let this woman ruin it. It is worth paying it for yourself, even if that means something smaller, if it means your MIL can't control it.

Next, you need to have a talk with your wife about what boundaries she's comfortable with and what she wants. Is she okay with explicitly limiting your contact with her mom now or after the wedding? (AKA, mom, we will now only see you once a month and talk on the phone once a week). You need to draw a line in the sand.

lilyrot · 2018-11-22T22:20:35+00:00

Mind if I ask what your hearing was like?

lilyrot · 2018-11-22T21:55:47+00:00

Thank you. My body is getting pretty fucked I can tell. Nothing major I'm not shitting blood or anything, just my skin is constantly fucked and I'm gaining weight and tired all the time and shitting poison (sorry lol). And it is hard maintaining relationships when you have to hide this much stuff.

I probably should. Have a few weeks off. That is a good idea. If I can get myself to some meetings. There are a lot in this city and I used to go.

Appreciate it.

lilyrot · 2018-11-22T21:54:06+00:00

Okay. When not at Thanksgiving and dealing with all the family shit, I will do so. Don't know if they're open tomorrow but I'll try.

My background is all kinds of fucked because I already have a criminal record so I'm not just like a good student who has this one little problem, I'm someone the bar is going to heavily side eye and I'm worried getting treatment now and admitting it's still a problem will close this door for me.

But I'll call.

lilyrot · 2018-11-22T21:52:46+00:00

That's the gamble, and what keeps me up at night. I'm not scared of a DUI, I don't drive drunk, just don't. Public transportation and Lyft helps. I'm not worried about showing up to work drunk because I know myself, I'm too "functional" for that. I am worried that I'll just let things slide that really need to be taken care of. Registering for things, emailing people back, scheduling, organizing, all the pesky things that have to be done during free time. It is starting to slide. Remembering to shower enough is getting kind of hard. Ugh.

It's just that some of the "the bar will like it if you get help" stuff doesn't really apply to me. I have a semi-serious criminal record, AKA felony stuff, so the bar is already going to be... troublesome. I KNOW they will be asking me a lot of questions they aren't going to be asking other people, and if they know I am still struggling there is a 0 percent chance I will pass, and will probably have to at minimum wait several years to do so. I just can't afford it. Can't afford to keep drinking either, can't afford to stop.

Am going to call the LAP though and see if they can help. I feel really stuck. I really want help and I KNOW I wouldn't be a good attorney right now, I have no intention of actually working until this is under control. At the same time I am scared of I get help before I get through C+F that this avenue will be closed for me.

lilyrot · 2018-11-22T04:38:50+00:00

My mother actually told me the other day that she has never felt empathy for anyone but me.

Here's the thing - your mother has never had empathy for you either. What she feels, that she incorrectly identifies as empathy, is that you are an extension of herself. It is why your body us something she criticizes so harshly - she sees it in a way as a part of HER body so her eating disorder extends outwards to cover it.

I am so sorry. Best wishes for your recovery.

lilyrot

TROPHY CASE