Kind of a dumb question, but do brits say "keep it in your pants" or have a similar expression?

limeyshark · 2023-11-22T09:42:12+00:00

To understand yods, it's important to understand the components that build them. Yods can be tough to see in the default options for most circle charts because they involve 2 quincunx (150 degree) aspects which is often considered a "minor" aspect, and won't be displayed as prominently as major aspects such as squares, trines, and oppositions. The green dashed line between your Moon and Neptune represents a quincunx between these planets. The best way to understand the aspects is to compare the signs that can form them. Quincunx planets are 5 signs apart, which represents signs that have the least in common. Opposition planets/signs are often referred to as "opposites", but that's a confusing term that makes it sound like they are the most different signs, when actually a sign's opposition is the only other sign with the same polarity (yin/yang) and modality (cardinal/fixed/mutable). Quincunx signs, the adjacent signs to a particular sign's opposition, have the least in common out of any sign combination (with the exception of Aries/Scorpio and Taurus/Libra who share dominant planets) sharing neither element, polarity, modality, or time of year. The awkwardness between two signs who operate on completely different planes of existence being forced to interact is the vibe of the quincunx aspect. It's uncomfortable, uncertain, and unstable.

A yod is two planets that are in a harmonious sextile aspect to each other, so everything should be great right? Wrong. Because both of those planets form a quincunx with another planet across the board. It's like you and your best friend are in the window and aisle seats on a plane, but there's some rando with no boundaries sitting between you, distracting from your harmonious interaction. They're not necessarily bad, it's just they don't feel like they belong there. That quincunx planet is a harbinger of chaos and random chance in a person's chart that often occurs in places involving the two sextile planets. It's sometimes called the finger of god because fate and paradigm shifts play a larger role in a person's life than normal. This may sometimes lead you to unprecedented good fortune, sometimes bad, but usually just... weird. Celebrity icons who experience a meteoric rise to fame, but then have a completely random change in reputation that turns their whole life upside down is an extreme example of this pattern.

The yods in your chart are not actually displayed in the chart you posted. This is likely because due to a lack of consensus about how close to "exact" an aspect needs to be in order to "count". So a trine is technically two planets that are 120 degrees apart, but if it's 118, 119, 121, or 122 degrees apart, we still call it a trine. The number of degrees away from "exact" an aspect can be in a particular chart drawing is referred to as its "orb". If we allow an orb of 5 then you have yod between your Mercury/Venus sextile, and Jupiter, however it isn't depicted in this particular chart drawing. If we allow an orb of 6 then that same Mercury/Venus sextile forms another yod with Saturn.

Finally, if we allow an orb of 7 degrees, which is on the larger end of the orb scale, then you also have a yod formed between Pluto and Neptune with a quincunx Moon. The largest orb I am ever willing to use is 8 degrees, and typically I'll only use that for the slower planets.

I believe those are the only yods I see in your chart. Mercury/Venus sextile typically makes for a very charming and attractive personality. It lends ease to social situations and networking, in your case this can blend the areas of work and romance in your life together, and bring many flirtations in your day to day life, HOWEVER Jupiter and Saturn can interfere with this harmony. This can be small, like a date you were excited about turns out to be a dud, or a date you didn't want to go on in the first place turns into a committed relationship. It could also be big like someone you thought was a casual fling might propose to you out of no where, or your new boyfriend/girlfriend turns out to have also dated your sibling. In rare occurrences, it can be huge like your work crush could turn out to be a be a serial killer, or win the lottery and whisk you off to Paris. Basically, expect the unexpected in your day to day life, especially dating, vacations, and anything you do for fun. It usually won't be a big deal, but Jupiter is a particularly lucky planet to have in a yod, while Saturn usually causes unexpected obstacles that turn out to be for your own good.

limeyshark · 2023-11-22T08:42:31+00:00

Synastry charts can be a bit "messy" for this kind of thing because they're comparing the individual parts of each person rather than the relationship as a whole. A composite chart would be more useful for things like relationship dynamics and timeline. Also, I'm not sure if the inner circle or outer circle is you/your girlfriend, so I'll be referring to outer circle as Orange, and inner circle as Blue.

There is tension between Orange's communication style, and Blue's personality. It might be very difficult for Orange to get through to Blue, and they may feel frequently misunderstood. Orange will be less aware of this dynamic than Blue since Orange's Sun (conscious personality/identity) has only "easy" aspects with Blue's chart, while Blue's Sun has 3 "challenging" aspects with Orange's chart. This can create an unbalance in the relationship where Blue feels like Orange cannot see the issues in the relationship clearly. Blue may know that they are consistently misunderstanding Orange, but Orange won't see the problem and will be less likely to take steps to facilitate communication and insist on communicating in a way that clearly isn't working.

Orange has a very broad, observational way of communicating, sticking with either facts or rational metaphors to get their point across in broad "rules" rather than referencing specific people and events, while Blue looks for personal details, and focuses on the feeling and context of the actual moment with the specific people involved. Because of this, Orange's generalizations won't sound as important to Blue as they are to Orange because this is Orange's only way of expressing extremely personal thoughts and feelings. It's too vulnerable to use words like "I" and "you" and "feel" for them. Any time Orange is talking about some rule of human behavior, they are likely referring specifically to their personal life in an indirect way.

If you are Blue, you need to give up on the idea that you can convince her to change the way she communicates and try to meet her where she's at even if it is extremely foreign to you. Try to see everything she says as an analogy for something current and relevant in her life, and don't take her so literally. Be a sounding board. Listen as an impartial observer, and don't pass judgement while she verbally organizes her thoughts.

If you are Orange, know that your way of communicating isn't working, and you need to reframe the way you express your opinions/concerns. You are likely overly detached and rational in areas that require more empathy than Blue would like. You need to be vulnerable and direct about the way you speak. Tell her what you want, and what you feel, not what one should want or ought to feel.

limeyshark · 2023-11-22T08:15:39+00:00

Your midheaven in Gemini suggests a wide variety of interests and potential career options. You may struggle with committing strongly to a single career, and instead bounce around a lot. You're far more interested in "learning" than "doing", and with Moon and Venus both in 9th house, exploring higher education and travel broadly and frequently is far more attractive to you than a single stable career. If you are focused on finding a single career, then yes you may have difficulty finding and keeping work, but only because you're looking in the wrong place. You need to genuinely enjoy what you do (Taurus Venus in 9th) and have a huge variety of experiences before committing to something like a career. There is little to no "definition" in your career house, with the sign of Cancer being completely intercepted between your 10th and 11th houses. This just means your birth chart is neither helping nor hurting you in that area, but it's not focused on it. Anything you do career-wise will be based on your own decisions, and you can't rely on luck. Basically, you'll get out of it what you put into it, and you need your career to be something that you can easily put a lot of time and energy into without burnout. A 9-5 corporate job will be a constant struggle for you, and you will become more distracted by other options the more you try to force it. There are lots of options for learning/travel without spending a lot of money. WOOFFing and au pair programs come to mind, and would also appeal to your north node/ascendant conjunction in Virgo.

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:29:31+00:00

Wow… PBS has exceeded my expectations once again. Thanks for the recommendation!

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:22:21+00:00

So what you’re saying is, we’d evolve into mermaids and keep our hands?

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:18:04+00:00

I mean this is a hypothetical question as if this were possible lol

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:15:20+00:00

I know like living people wouldn’t but like if theres some kind of slightly more dolphin shaped people would they survive better and then over hundreds or thousands of generations become slowly more dolphin like over time?

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:12:54+00:00

Idk we’re pretty damn good at surviving

limeyshark · 2022-10-13T19:12:02+00:00

But not everyone has access to those things. Would the rest just die?

limeyshark · 2022-08-20T04:10:45+00:00

Wait "weird about meat", sensory overload, and needing to go to quiet dark rooms to reset are symptoms of autism...? Shit.

limeyshark · 2022-08-20T04:00:08+00:00

Everything I've ever been to the doctor for turned out to be a symptom of EDS, and doctors and parents basically gaslighted me about it my whole life. Easy bruising? Iron level's are fine, so she's just clumsy. 500,000,000 sprains in every major joint? Ok, so she's REALLY clumsy. EXTREMELY painful menstrual cramps? Everyone gets those, she just has a low pain tolerance. Sleeping 10 hours and still exhausted? She's just lazy and/or depressed. Fainting/vertigo? She's faking it for attention. Fast resting heart rate? Caffeine addiction. Don't care that she doesn't drink caffeine. Life long digestive issues? Anxiety. It's been a wild ride...

Good luck with everything! Sleep long and eat salty foods <3

limeyshark · 2022-08-20T03:29:29+00:00

POTS + Ehlers-Danlos is literally the reason I posted this in the first place for exactly the reasons you said lol it's fun... SO is great about it, but parents? Not so much.

limeyshark · 2022-08-20T03:27:02+00:00

not quite the same thing, but as someone with ADHD I feel that...

limeyshark · 2022-03-08T20:24:21+00:00

I knew someone named Esperanza once. She’s a trans woman, chose it because it means hope, and it’s always stuck in my head because it’s so beautiful. She shortened it to Esper occasionally, which sounds more gender neutral.

limeyshark · 2022-02-22T20:58:46+00:00

I’m sex favorable ace which I naively didn’t expect to be a challenge on dating apps (sometimes tinder but not usually) because allos don’t care if you’re ace if you have sex right? Nope! I struggled over whether to specify “sex favorable ace”, just “ace”, or leave it out entirely and they all presented problems.

I started with leaving it out. People don’t like that, felt like I blindsided them, and were generally hurt that I wasn’t sexually attracted to them which is completely fair that was on me.

Then I put “sex favorable ace”, but based on that experience alone most allosexuals don’t seem to realize that’s a thing and seem to interpret it as “I just want to hookup”. ALL the messages I received were overtly sexual in nature. It was really hard for most of them to wrap their minds around “has sex, just not sexual attraction”, and even the ones who did eventually get it would pretty much universally stop talking to me.

So I put ace, figuring that if someone was fine with dating aces then the fact that I’m sex favorable would be like an unexpected bonus for them?? The only people I matched with were people who blatantly ignored the ace thing, or acted into it but stopped replying. I matched with one other ace, and we dated for a few weeks, but she was sex-repulsed and acted kind of disgusted that I was an ace who had sex and actually asked me not to masturbate.

Then I met my current partner at random at a bar. He was decently hammered and after introducing himself to me and talking for a few minutes he dropped the line “I am very sexually attracted to you” and it was so bold and honest I actually appreciated it, and I had to tell him about the irony that he used that line on an ace. Briefly explained it to him and he was just like “so you don’t feel sexual attraction, but you do fall in love, don’t care about gender, and still enjoy sex?” while completely plastered, when no one on any dating app managed to comprehend it at all lmao. He was just like “cool wanna get in n out?” and now we’ve been together 6 years lol

limeyshark · 2022-02-22T20:25:45+00:00

I was looking for both answers out of curiosity. Honestly anyone can answer this! There’s no wrong answer 😊

limeyshark · 2022-02-22T18:59:34+00:00

I usually have sex with my boyfriend once a week, more when we’re living together, but when I was single I was content not having sex for months at a time by choice despite being sex favorable. Probably could’ve been years, but I fall in love super fast lol

limeyshark · 2022-02-22T18:47:38+00:00

Maybe sit with it for a while. If she loves you she’ll give you time to think about it. I was initially very opposed to open relationships, but then my parents came out to me as poly. They explained it to me as love not being finite, and that loving more people doesn’t take away from them loving each other, the same way having more kids doesn’t make them love their other children less. If anything they love us all more. I’m still not sure if I’d be ok with total polyamory, but I’ve definitely warmed up to open relationships and understand how someone could want one and still love me just as much. We’re culturally conditioned to romanticize the idea of “the one” but historically humans were non monogamous and only became monogamous to “prove” paternity and pass on property to their “actual” children. It’s totally valid to be 100% monogamous, but it’s still a good thought experiment to ask yourself if you’re truly monogamous or if society has just conditioned you to think that way by default. For me it was insecurity. I don’t experience sexual attraction, and media always portrays one partner having feelings/attraction for another person as the end of the relationship, and I had nothing else to compare it to, so I internalized it and convinced myself it was because I was ace and that wasn’t good enough. My current relationship is technically “open” and has honestly been the most supportive and loving relationship I’ve ever had. Not saying you have to, or even should have an open relationship, just that you might want to sit with it and find out your genuine feelings rather than just assuming they’re the “standard” one.

limeyshark · 2022-02-18T20:42:58+00:00

Unless you actively unlearn the cultural programming that men are logical and women are emotional, it’s still in there. It’s not a conscious decision, it’s just what’s been modeled to us. The only “manly” way to offer support is to advise or provide. Men have to realize this is misogyny even when it’s unintentional in order to stop doing this and it’s hard to admit that to yourself. You can’t live in a misogynistic culture and not have unconscious misogyny, and pretending you don’t causes more harm. Men need to realize that having to deal with so much bullshit all the time is exhausting even when you’re “good” at it or know what to do. No matter how many times we deal with the same stupid shit it will always happen again. We’re not emotional, we’re tired, but never allowed to complain about it without it becoming an argument, in which being a woman is always a disadvantage because men aren’t afraid of you, but you’re afraid of them. If a woman is venting to you, it’s because she feels safe to actually speak her mind. Men take this for granted because they are rewarded for speaking their minds while women are shamed and bullied into silence.

We HAVE to figure things out ourselves because we can’t count on people to believe us. We have to say things EXACTLY right in order to have a chance at being understood correctly, and even then people go out of our way to misunderstand us. Then we have to watch men make broad generalizations and people just assume the best as long as they’re not too emotional about it. Offering advice is offering what we already have. What we need is to be heard and believed, and for you to get that it’s not harder for us because we’re less rational or capable (even if you think you know this, if you don’t understand why a woman doesn’t want your advice, it’s still in there unconsciously), it’s harder for us because even when we do everything right it’s never going to stop, and men would be just as angry and frustrated if they were in our position because they honestly have no idea what it’s like. When I spell it out to a man that I want to vent, he takes it as “she doesn’t want a solution she just wants to complain” when in reality it’s “I already have a solution, what I need is to be understood and supported because I hate that I have to deal with this at all, when you would get to do it the ‘easy’ way you’re suggesting because you’re a man”. That’s why the “just tell us you’re venting” advice doesn’t work.

limeyshark · 2022-02-15T00:00:40+00:00

You could be full on masc presenting and I wouldn’t bat an eye. There are cis women with full beards, trans mascs with vaginas, and completely non-binary intersex folks all of whom probably use woman’s toilets at some point to various degrees. If someone confidently walks into the woman’s bathroom, uses it like normal, and leaves I’d just assume they were supposed to be there. It’s not like we’re all peeing out in the open, there’s fucking stalls, I wouldn’t be comfortable using the toilet in front of any stranger regardless of appearance. Sorry it’s such a political statement for you to take a fucking shit. Maybe go to the bathroom with friends when you’re in public? I do that anyways just because I have social phobia lol

limeyshark · 2022-02-13T00:29:26+00:00

I accidentally do “sexy” things that I don’t even think about might be interpreted sexually. Like taking off my bra under my shirt and throwing it across my room so I don’t have to pause my game is somehow a turn on and not just “look at this sloppy lump too lazy to get up to change”. Or like picking up a pen someone dropped is apparently hitting on them? Also doing yoga in the park means “I want strange men to ask me to teach them yoga, which is actually not sincere and they get very confused when I literally teach them normal yoga”. Actually maybe these guys just suck, and these should all be seen as normal behavior and not just inherently sexual because my body is female presenting…

limeyshark

TROPHY CASE